Child care, is it such hard work?

[darcymum]

I know it is commonly agreed to be the hardest job in the world but I just don't think it's that hard at all. My children do all sleep well which I think makes a huge difference to my ability to cope.

When I was pregnant with my first everyone said what hard work it was having a baby, it wasn't. Then with the second they said I would struggle to cope with two under two, I didn't. Then with the third people gasped that I was mad to have three under three, I'm not (?).

Have a broken some unwritten code that we all keep quiet about how easy it all is?

Come on then I know the daggers will be out for me.

some people, I suppose, are more tailored to motherhood, personally I struggled with just one but happy for you

Your children sleep well so it isn't for you. I find trying to keep a toddler and fully bf baby entertained without a total resort to Cbeebies on 4 or less hours sleep is really very hard work.

no daggers. Just hope you have some empathy and understanding that everyone's experiences are different - as are everyone's children.

PND/depression/amnxiety
lack of sleep
financial worries/constraints
ill/disabled/SN children
lack of transport
small, cramped accomodation

add a few of those factors into a mix and see if you can accept that looking after their children MIGHT be very different experience for some people.

meh

I think having children that sleep makes a hell of a difference. I adore being a mummy to my 10 month old DS but it is definitely the hardest job I have ever done.

He has only slept through the night a handful of times and I usually only get between 3 and 6 hours sleep (pretty much always broken) per night. If he slept at night and I was well rested I reckon the rest would be a doddle.

But he doesn't, so it isn't.

what molly said

I'll loan you dd2 for a day if you like, then you might understand why people say this

I agree with sfxmum. It is a very personal and subjective experience.

I struggled with first child, easy peasy with the second in comparison. Also I'd describe harder the first year in both cases and easy the toddler stage. My children when babies slept and ate and didn't tantrum etc. Still I found it hard.
Now that they are 4 and 2 I think I have a life of riley.
Other friends prefer babystage to toddler.

We are not all the same and we view motherhood depending on how we are, how we view ourselves, how we view life etc.

Great that you found it easy, would not dismiss who tells it different though.

small children were a doddle.

big ones are fairly impossible.

i find it hard to believe it is easy all the time for anyone.

on your profile you say "at home, 3 kids, going mad".

What are you going mad about? If it's not the children, at home-ness contributing to that feeling?

It's being home with not much to do.

darcy are you a sahm?? I personally find the hard thing is juggling work and being a good parent.

I find its soo much easier when I have some time off and can concentrate on ds

sorry Darcy

but you have 3 toddlers and you dont have much to do???

you are at the wind up!

How nice for you.

Personally, I don't know why people think it's hard being a top model - I find it a piece of piss!

I didn't struggle too much when mine were small, now they're older it's much tougher.

Mine all slept well too.

My Mum had lots of kids as "she found something she was good at".
Like all jobs some people are more naturally suited to it than others, but for some reason we expect everyone to be equally suited.

I think you're just lucky!I live in hope that the next child will be a bit easier.
I think I took to motherhood quite naturally but it is still hard work.... and a big responsibility. Sleeping makes a huge difference though, haven't had an unbroken nights sleep for 3 years, more than 4 hours and I'm sure there are worse stories than that.

I do thank god that my children all sleep well, I know I would find everything much much harder if they didn't. I consider myself very lucky that I have a good relationship and don't work.

Filling my days with playdates with friends drinking tea and chatting, I think its great and much better than going to work.

That's nice for you: you can have my two disabled children.

I find it wonderfully relaxing to escape into work: working late to meet a deadline is my idea of me time. Can't believe I'm actually getting paid to do anything as soothing as giving a few lectures and sitting around in an office writing things on paper. No heavy lifting, noone screaming from pain, no welfare officer hammering on the door. People who work just don't know they're born.

I found motherhood excruciatingly difficult with my first child. Found SAHM-dom mind-numbingly boring yet at the same time crushingly hard. My first child wasn't a good sleeper and was generally a demanding baby (have since found out he has SN).

Second time around it was a doddle. Leap from one to two wasn't as hard as I'd been led to believe BUT she's a great sleeper - massive factor to take into account. Also, I went back to work much sooner, so my nanny is the one who deals with the tantrums and tears and dropped naps and general chaos on a daily basis. I thought I'd feel guilty about that. I can tell you categorically - I don't . I would have another couple of kids if I could keep this lifestyle up.

All mums are in different positions, some have children with additional needs, some have extra needs of their own, some have serious money worries, some are socially isolated, some have partners who don't help at all, some are living in cramped conditions ... if you have none of those factors then yeah, it's easier than if you have one or more. I wouldn't count any chickens until they've all left home though.

Who's up for going round to Darcymum's house and sneaking ground-up Pro Plus into her dcs' drinks when she's not looking?

That what my friends say and I know they have the same easy life as me.