er, that's it really.
dh's family have much higher expectations than us.
i don't necessarily think these expectations are a bad thing. maybe even a good thing if these are goals to be actively working towards, rather than a dogmatic enforced. i find eating with in laws and extended family very stressful.
part of this is trying to reconcile our approach to dd (23mo) with sil's approach to her dc (4 and 3). so consistency hard and i am always very careful to help to try to maintain the standards they set for their kids.
to my mind the following apply for dd (22mo). not sure how they would apply to older toddlers cause no experience.
** make some semblance of a thank you to whoever cooked. similarly ask to leave table rather than just get up and go. guess this depends on the toddler involved how much of this they can do - but certainly work towards it.
** if rude about food "dont like/want this" should be told that's not appropriate.
** work towards staying at table longer bit by bit. but certainly not be kept there til all adults have finished pudding and chatting etc if it's a big family thing (by which i mean more than just bog standard tea at home three of us on a tuesday IYKWIM)
** know that playing with food etc not appropriate etc etc
dd is just about okay with the above. but i have no way of knowing her brother (8mo) will not be a bounce around restless boy and i fear the future!