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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

My four year old DD is overweight

40 replies

muminthecity · 26/01/2010 13:27

She was 4 in September, is 116cm tall and weighs 3 stone 10lbs. I have tried so hard not to let this happen, I was always the fat kid at school, as was my sister and my mum before us, I don't want my DD to go the same way. I have always tried to give healthy balanced meals and limit sweets and cakes etc but it doesn't seem to work. What else can I do?

In an average day, she will have 2 weetabix with soya milk for breakfast, a tuna/turkey sandwich on wholemeal bread for lunch, followed by fruit and a yoghurt, then something like chicken stew, salmon with potatoes and vegetables, trout with couscous and salad, baked potato with tuna and salad, spaghetti bolgnese etc for dinner, all cooked from fresh followed by fruit and sometimes yoghurt. She eats tons of fruit and vegetables, there is nothing she won't eat.

We never have takeaways, she's had McDonalds about 4 times in her life and she hates chips! I give her soya milk as cow's milk makes her sick. We use low-fat spread instead of butter, I don't fry anything or use cream in my cooking. On a Wednesday she has a cake after school before her after-school activity. Other days she has fruit as her snack. My mum looks after her on a Monday and I know she usually buys her some chocolate buttons or magic stars, but other than that she doesn't have any sweets or chocolate. I have been on a diet forever so we never have biscuits or crisps or anything in the house.

As a child I was fed a diet of crisps, chocolate, fizzy drinks and takeaways, and was very rarely encouraged to exercise. I have tried so hard to do the opposite for my DD and give her the best start but it doesn't seem to have worked It is really getting to me now and I am trying hard not to let DD pick up on any of my issues around food. Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
nikki1978 · 26/01/2010 13:29

What are your portion sizes like? Are you giving her adult size portions? Are you sure that is overweight for her height?

muminthecity · 26/01/2010 13:29

I forgot to say DD does get plenty of exercise, we walk to pre-school and back every day (about 20-25 minutes each way), go to the park often where she seems to have plenty of energy to run around, and she goes to yoga class once a week.

OP posts:
muminthecity · 26/01/2010 13:31

nikki - I don't think I give big portions, I always give DD hers on a smaller plate (about the size of a side plate) and try to fill half with veg

OP posts:

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AuntieMaggie · 26/01/2010 13:32

I wouldn't stress yourslf out too much about it especially as you appear to be feeding her a really healthy diet. My niece is exactly the same and to be honest I think that as long as you are feeding them healthily it's important not to stress too much because they will pick up on it.

Perhaps you can try to increase her physical activity? Although again my niece is quite active and yet still 'overweight' and although some people will argue it's not genetic, me and my siblings were all exactly the same at that age. Hopefully by feeding her well now will mean that she will grow out of it.

If you are really worried then why not see if you can speak to your gp or something? But seriously, it's important that you do it without making your DD feel like there's something wrong with her.

sarah293 · 26/01/2010 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheCrackFox · 26/01/2010 13:34

According to the NHS BMI website your DD is not overweight but in the healthy range

NHS weight calculator

You sound like you are doing a great job so relax.

Tortington · 26/01/2010 13:34

32-40 lbs t'internet says is average weight so she isn't that overweight
see doctor rule out medical conditions and ask to see a dietician.

Lizzylou · 26/01/2010 13:34

HOw much exercise does she get?

My two boys are very different builds, DS1 is long and lean, eats like a horse but never sits still.
DS2 is stocky, doesn't eat a lot but is very sedentary by nature. He was 10lb 11oz at birth and is a very big frame, looks like a mini-rugby player. He walks about 20mins a day, swims twice a week and we go for walks in the park etc when we can.

At 4 though, DS1 was classified as slightly overweight in terms of BMI (25.1 or something, he looked slim to be honest, no visible fat at all), but then he grew about an inch and he is now whippet thin at almost 6.

Diet wise, she sounds very healthy, as Nikki says, it could be her portions are too large?

AuntieMaggie · 26/01/2010 13:34

Forgot to say that my niece isn't a big eater either, so although she eats healthy doesn't eat much. Her brother however seems to take after fathers side as is quite skinny although has the same lifestyle!

Lizzylou · 26/01/2010 13:35

Gah, took so long posting it's all been said.

She sounds fine, just keep doing what you are doing I think.

everylittlebeat · 26/01/2010 13:36

does she do any more energetic exercise like swimming, dancing, gymnastics? walking and yoga maybe aren't really active enough. from what you've said her diet sounds very healthy although maybe have a word with your mum

biglips · 26/01/2010 13:40

does she look fat? as my dd1 was 5 in oct and is 116cm too but she is very lean and go no fat on her whatsoever but she is very heavy boned just like her Dad and she runs around like a rocket all day

TheFirstLady · 26/01/2010 13:41

She isn't very much overweight. I tried the figures you gave on two online child BMI calculators and they both gave her BMI as being at the very top of the healthy weight range - so at risk of being overweight rather than actually overweight. Could it be that she is just about to have a growth spurt? Some children put on weight for a few months and then shoot up and it evens out again. The diet she eats sounds very healthy so if she really does need to lose weight then I think exercise is the key - maybe work in a session of swimming or a dance class or something as well as what she already does.

biglips · 26/01/2010 13:42

there is a piccy of my dd1 on my profile in the bath with the baby. that was taken in the summer hols. She is the same weight as your dd. She was 9lb 1oz at birth too and always had been between 95 - 99.9th percentile

muminthecity · 26/01/2010 13:43

Thecrackfox - Thanks for that link, there was another one on here a few weeks ago and according to that DD was overweight bordering on obese but it's good to know that she's only slightly bigger than she should be.

Thanks to everyone else, I don't think DD has been getting enough exercise lately now that I think about it, what with christmas and the bad weather we haven't been to the park as much as usual and haven't been swimming since November . I did try her with dance classes last year but she hated them. Will definitely start swimming again and will look into gymnastics.

OP posts:
thatsnotmymonster · 26/01/2010 13:47

It sounds as though she is very healthy. I think sometimes children are just built a certain way.

I think my dc's have a balanced diet but it is nowhere near as healthy as your dd's and they have far more crisps/chocolate/cakes etc!

It doesn't seem to matter how much they eat they never gain weight.

116cm is very tall for a just turned 4yo sin't it? Maybe she is just on the upper end of the spectrum for height and weight. Would be more worrying if her height was not inline with her weight.

Wallace · 26/01/2010 13:50

My 3 and a half year old got measured yesterday and he is 21kg (3st 4) and they measured his height at 96cm but I think he is at least 98.

He doesn't look at all overweight but apparently is above the 100th centile and is obese.

I'm not worried - he is very active.

Merrylegs · 26/01/2010 13:52

Could it be portion sizes? 2 weetabix is quite a mouthful.

Perhaps it is the soya milk?

This from an article in the guardian -

"Soya milk is one of the success stories of the last few years. Sales have rocketed by 20 per cent per annum and it is now one of the fastest growing drinks in the country. Starbucks now offers frothed up soya milk with its cappuccinos and supermarkets have invested in their own brands.

For those who suffer a strong allergic reaction to cow's milk or follow a vegan diet, soya milk has always been an important option. But others drink it as a less fattening alternative to cow's milk. What they don't realise is that it also gives them an injection of a chemical that mimics oestrogen. One industry source admitted that the breakthrough for soya milk came when retailers were persuaded to put soya milk into the chilled cabinet, giving it the illusion of being a fresh product. Some soya milk adverts tell the reader to look for it in the fresh food section. In reality, soya milk is no more than bean juice with some added flavouring to make it more palatable."

Excess oestrogen can cause fatty deposits around your stomach. Her diet sounds v healthy tbh, and the stuff about the soya may just be baloney, but just some things to think about?

NoFlysOnMe · 26/01/2010 13:52

OP - a few months or a year ago my daughter was also 'verging on obese' according to a BMI site for children. Also tall for her age and a good, healthy eater. However she is now 6.4yo and is finally slimming down, or rather as she grows taller she seems to be getting slimmer.
She used to sit in the bath and there would be about 3 or 4 big rolls of fat on her stomach!

Can I recommend a general dance class over gymnastics?
DD has tried both and prefers dance, i think she uses up more energy in dance too and it's more fun, depends on the teacher of course...

do ask your GP tho', mine always assured me that DD was not overweight and that i shouldnt restrict her intake of healthy food and i think he may be right!

muminthecity · 26/01/2010 13:59

Are there healthier alternatives to soya milk? Rice milk? I'm not sure if it's a mild allergy or an intolerance but she complains of stomach ache after drinking cow's milk and vomits if she's had more than a few mouthfulls.

Do you all think it's worth taking her to the GP then? He wouldn't think I was wasting his time? I do think that a lot of my concerns come from my own background and the bullying I recieved because of my weight, though on the other hand she does look overweight to me. Not like the kids you see in the tabloids whose parents are condemned for letting them eat nothing but chips for 2 years or anything, no double chin or rolls of fat but certainly chubby cheeks and a podgy stomach.

OP posts:
Missus84 · 26/01/2010 13:59

Who told you she was overweight? It sounds like she is just a big girl, tall too - she may slim down as she gets older.

The nhs bmi calculator linked to earlier says she's a healthy weight and in the 83rd centile - someone has to be near the top!

ToccataAndFudge · 26/01/2010 14:00

wow Wallace - my 2 1/2yr old got measured just before Christmas - he was 98cm and 13kg - 98th centile

lljkk · 26/01/2010 14:04

What CrackFox said(!)
Check out the NHS calculator; kids have big tummies because their livers are oversized for their body size (which is normal).
I don't believe that she is overweight at 84th percentile.

DS2 had was 94th percentile on that NHS calculator when he was 4yo -- that I worried about. He has slimmed down since (now 5.5yo).
I watch portion sizes and try to give her lower fat versions of things, kept him active otherwise, no huge effort.

ToccataAndFudge · 26/01/2010 14:08

mind you that NHS calculator told me that DS3 (the one who'se on the 98th centile for height and weight) is right on the bottom end of "health" (7th centile)

NoFlysOnMe · 26/01/2010 14:09

rice milk is very sweet and watery, oat milk is nice.