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Parenting

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My four year old DD is overweight

40 replies

muminthecity · 26/01/2010 13:27

She was 4 in September, is 116cm tall and weighs 3 stone 10lbs. I have tried so hard not to let this happen, I was always the fat kid at school, as was my sister and my mum before us, I don't want my DD to go the same way. I have always tried to give healthy balanced meals and limit sweets and cakes etc but it doesn't seem to work. What else can I do?

In an average day, she will have 2 weetabix with soya milk for breakfast, a tuna/turkey sandwich on wholemeal bread for lunch, followed by fruit and a yoghurt, then something like chicken stew, salmon with potatoes and vegetables, trout with couscous and salad, baked potato with tuna and salad, spaghetti bolgnese etc for dinner, all cooked from fresh followed by fruit and sometimes yoghurt. She eats tons of fruit and vegetables, there is nothing she won't eat.

We never have takeaways, she's had McDonalds about 4 times in her life and she hates chips! I give her soya milk as cow's milk makes her sick. We use low-fat spread instead of butter, I don't fry anything or use cream in my cooking. On a Wednesday she has a cake after school before her after-school activity. Other days she has fruit as her snack. My mum looks after her on a Monday and I know she usually buys her some chocolate buttons or magic stars, but other than that she doesn't have any sweets or chocolate. I have been on a diet forever so we never have biscuits or crisps or anything in the house.

As a child I was fed a diet of crisps, chocolate, fizzy drinks and takeaways, and was very rarely encouraged to exercise. I have tried so hard to do the opposite for my DD and give her the best start but it doesn't seem to have worked It is really getting to me now and I am trying hard not to let DD pick up on any of my issues around food. Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
NoFlysOnMe · 26/01/2010 14:09

or what about that cow milk with the lactose removed?

Merrylegs · 26/01/2010 14:10

You could take her to the GP who would perhaps put your mind at rest. You could bring with you a list of her typical daily diet. Perhaps he could do an allergy test for cow's milk?

You do sound worried about her, but it may be completely unnecessary, so a neutral eye would be useful.

Your GP will be delighted - a welcome change from the bad backs in the waiting room - you know, the ones that make the GP's eyes glaze over and reach for the painkiller perscription.....

Seona1973 · 26/01/2010 14:24

from the calculator I used it said she is on the 95th percentile and is at risk of being overweight (using height as 3ft 9in and weight as 52lbs) As she is in between heights I also did it with height 3ft 10in and 52lbs and it comes out as the 90th percentile which also shows as at risk rather than actually being overweight.

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Seona1973 · 26/01/2010 14:29

It must depend which calculator you use as the nhs one does say she is a healthy weight and on the 84th centile.

muminthecity · 26/01/2010 16:38

Thanks for all the messages, I am less worried after seeing the other growth charts, strange that they're all different though. There was a thread on here a few months ago where the OP was worried that her DC was underweight and someone linked to a BMI calculator thingy which said DD was edging towards obesity. That's what got me so worried at the time, coupled with the fact that DD had just gone into age 6/7 clothes (though that is mainly for the length, not only the waist.) I think I will concentrate on upping the amount of exercise she gets and if I'm still concerned in a couple of months time I will book an appointment with the GP.

OP posts:
TidyBush · 26/01/2010 16:48

Not sure what the guidance is these days but when my DD1 was 4 she was on the 99th centile for height and weight. I was told at the time that as long as the difference between height and weight were within 2 centiles then that was OK.

We never got her to lose weight, just waited for her to get taller and now she's 15, 5' 8" (I'm only 5'3" ) and has a figure to die for.

Sounds like you and she are doing just fine.

dixiechick1975 · 26/01/2010 17:18

Do you get alot of comments re how big she is? I think people say big when they mean tall...I get alot of isn't she big about my DD.

My DD turned 4 this week and is 116cm tall. I'm buying her 6-7 clothes.

My daughter is currently looking thin though because she seems to grow in real spurt, height then weight catches up. Maybe your DD is about to have a height spurt?

Would swimming lessons be possible. I find I definitely take DD weekly because it is a lesson I have to pay for if we are there or not whereas it was easy to miss if it was just me taking her.

Wallace · 26/01/2010 19:57

Just realisd she is almost as tall as my 8 year old!

MiniMarmite · 26/01/2010 20:11

Everyone has given great advice here and glad you are feeling a little more positive.

I have always had a difficult relationship with food and I'm paranoid about DS becoming overweight. I worry that I would find it more difficult with a girl. I fear that I would be worried about her becoming overweight and equally worried that she would always feel guilt about food too.

My parents often told me that I would always struggle with my weight and it seemed to become a self-fulfilling prophecy (well I'm going to be fat anyway so I might as well eat this doughnut). It was only when I realised what was happening that I was able to take control of my own diet and appetite.

What I think I'm trying to say that you're doing a great job in ensuring she has a healthy diet and is getting enough exercise (and it sounds like her weight is just fine) but it is also important to try to avoid inadvertently instilling your fears about food/weight in her.

As an aside, you mention margarine. I think some nutritionists think (sorry don't have a link here but will post if I find later) that it is preferable to avoid low fat spreads, yoghurt etc - I think it is to do with understanding portion size for particular foodstuffs plus the ingredients that tend to be added to low fat versions.

womblingfree · 27/01/2010 22:26

My DD is 5.4 and a similar size. DH is 6ft 4 so it's hardly surprising that she's bigger than average. I'm mainly buying her clothes in 6-7 and even 7-8 for some brands in order to get a reasonable amount of wear out of them.

I spoke to my health visitor last year cos I was concerned and I think so long as they are in proportion on the centile charts there's probably not too much to worry about.

MumNWLondon · 30/01/2010 21:25

Was just going to say her diet sounds very healthy (wish I could get my DS to eat like that)...so more exercise is probably good idea.

At 4 she should be able to turn pedals on a bike or learn to swim in a swimming class both of which very good exercise. I wear out my DC at weekends - take them swimming / to park with bikes / to park to run around etc. After school DD does ballet and DS goes gymnastics both of which including running around.

I agree about the low fat spreads, they aren't really low fat and they are extra empty calories. Might be worth checking out portion sizes to put your mind at rest though. Also in winter can give homemade veggie soup/tomato soup as starter...

Also recommend Oately oat milk... just as it tastes nice.

anabellapity · 30/01/2010 21:44

only thing i noticed about her diet compared to that of my 4 year old is that it is quite rich in carbs - my ds never ever touches them despite our encouragement and eats loads of fruit, veg, protein though also homemade cakes made with butter several times a week - i think he is a natural follower of Atkins!!

anabellapity · 30/01/2010 21:45

ok - the cakes do him him some carbs and there are prob small amounts in the rest

hellymelly · 30/01/2010 21:54

She has a great diet,she sounds completely fine.She is really tall,taller than my dd who has just turned five, she is obviously growing well and has plenty of energy.I am really impressed by her diet.I think we are so conditioned now to worry about children getting fat,but all children go through stages of being slightly podgy.No one seems to ever comment on my very light and thin dd,even though that could be a sign that a child is not getting enough food or not getting the right type.Try and relax a bit and separate your sad experiences with weight from your child's own size.You seem to be doing a brilliant job and taking wonderful care of her.

HeraldAngel · 30/01/2010 21:59

I'd go with thatsnotmymonster. My DD weighs more than DS, despite being two years younger. She was weighed by the GP when she had her pre-school boosters (had avoided weighing her, but we were captive in the GP's room), and the GP said yes, she was quite heavy - but she's also very tall with a huge head, so her weight is completely in proportion with the rest of her. (She takes after DH). She said that was what mattered, not the weight in itself. I think you should congratulate yourself, muminthecity, for getting your DD to eat so healthily.

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