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Original poster

Would parents be willing to let there children stay on their own at a childrens party at reception age?

42 replies

mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 20:45

Hi, for my daughters 5th birthday, we are thinking about taking the girls in her class to a victorian musium. They have a guided toor, play traditional party games and have a traditional birthday tea. There will be trained staff there to organise everything.
I'm not sure if the parents would be willing to drop them off and pick them up later.
All the partys I've been to so far, the parents have always stayed with their children. If we had to pay for the parents as well as the children, it would be far too expencive. The children range from 4.5 to 5 years. (reception class)
Should I try to speek to the mums first to see if they would be o.k with dropping them off?
I think I'd have to make it very clear in the invites that it's only drop off, or it could be embarassing if the parents try to come too.

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pofarced · 19/01/2010 20:46

It seems to us that the this year the parties ds has been invited to [mostly 5th ones] have been drop off parties. So I should think it is fine.

meemar · 19/01/2010 20:49

It's quite normal for reception age children to stay by themselves at a birthday party.

I would just make it clear in the invites that it was drop off only. If parents aren't happy about it they can decline the invitation.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 20:49

Thank you, that's great.

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amidaiwish · 19/01/2010 20:51

it does tend to be drop off once they start reception.
how far is it for most people to drive? if quite a way some may choose to stay to reduce the driving. Is there a cafe they could go for a coffee?

I would clearly specify that the "group ticket" covers the children and specify the adults, and the party will be led by xxx. The children will be met and the party will start at x place at x time, and the children will be brought back to place zzz for collection at x o'clock.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 20:51

Or if they wanted to pay for themselves to stay, then that would also be fine. (Can't put that in the invite though).

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Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 20:56

Do you think I could invite the teacher?
Or pay her to help look after the children?

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jellybeans · 19/01/2010 20:56

I left my girls but not my boys at that age and depends where it is. In my kids school many mums stay (at least half) at reception age and some still till about 7/8.

MollieO · 19/01/2010 20:58

I would without hesitation at someone's house but I doubt I would if it was at a public museum.

What would the staff to children ratio be? What plans would you have if some or one of the children wanted to do something different than the guided tour? What would you do if some others decided in the middle of the tour that they wanted to go to the toilet?

If you can answer all of those (and probably a lot of other questions) then I would let you take my 5 yr old ds. If you couldn't then that would be a spare place for you .

deloola · 19/01/2010 20:59

I'm not sure I'd drop my reception age dc off at a museum - how secure would it be on the guided tour? Yes - you've got trained staff there - but its a bit different to going to a soft play area where there secure gates to stop children from running off.

I'd be happy to leave dc at a soft play party though.

madrose · 19/01/2010 20:59

I think it depends on the child. My dd (nearly 5) still wants me around. Her friends are quite happy for the parents to disappear.

deloola · 19/01/2010 21:00

x-post

And hope you are joking about asking the teacher

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 21:01

I suppose the problem would be, if I send out invites and several say they can't make it because they don't want to leave them. The partys are a minimum of 10 children. There are only 11 girls in her class, so if it dropped to under 10, they wouldn't do it. It would be too late to change too.

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amidaiwish · 19/01/2010 21:01

oh and no to the teacher. it is her time off!!

MollieO · 19/01/2010 21:03

I think if you are thinking of asking the teacher to help then you already have doubts about supervising. Either offer to pay for one parent to accompany their child (ie max of 10 parents) and hope that some are happy to drop and go and be completely confident you can manage this type of trip (I know I couldn't).

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 21:05

o.k, what about the TA then? Lol

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compo · 19/01/2010 21:07

no asking the teacher is nothing like asking nursery staff!! please don't!

at ds' school everyone bar one stayed with their child all the way through

in yr one people dropped off a lot more

inreception some children still need help goign to the loo

the one who was always left regularly looked sad and if they fell over of course we all tried to help but she didn't know us so was shy and embarassed

blametheparents · 19/01/2010 21:08

No, you cannot ask the teacher. Seriously, no!

Wouldn't personally leave my Year R child at a museum party. Tend to stay with her at parties at the moment.

Would you be happy to leave your own DD at a smiliar party?

As I've said I know I wouldn't so wouldn't expect others to.

Could try same party in Yr1 or Yr2, esp as they cover the Vistorians in either one of those year groups.

compo · 19/01/2010 21:08

how much would you pay the TA? I suspect they'd say no tbh

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 21:09

MollieO- I do have my concerns to be honest. They are a lovely group of children and are able to go to the toilet on their own, although I'd have to go with them to supervise. I do worry about one of them running off etc. I think 11 children to two adults pluss the staff might be a bit much. We want to relax and enjoy the day too.

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Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 21:14

No, to be honset I wouldn't leave mine at a party like this. Lol, but mine does have SEN's and needs help toileting and has communication difficulties. (That's my excuse anyway)

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ruddynorah · 19/01/2010 21:16

i think you'd be lucky to get 10 if you're only inviting 11 to be honest.

blametheparents · 19/01/2010 21:17

I think you have probably answered your own question. don't assume parents will be happy to leave if you would not.

Save the idea for another year

Hulababy · 19/01/2010 21:21

After the first term in reception pretty much all parents were leaving their children at parties, unles there was a specific area for them to go and have a chat and coffee together.

Ensure your invites mention the arrangements, and indicate that you have ensured suitable adult:child ratios.

Is there a nearby coffee shop you could sugget to parents?

I would say no to asking the teacher or TA to help, or even suggest paying. TBH it would be cheaper to pay for some parents to come along than pay for the teacher's time. I have to say I'd turn down such a request. My weekends are my own.

Just seen you comment re numbers. It is very close to call as you can only afford for 1 child to not be able to come. I think this may be unrealistic unless you have some back up children you could ask.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 21:22

I think I'll have to find out how much it would cost for the parents too. Maybe it would be a reduced rate, and I'd have to specify 1 parent to each child.
Either that or a soft play centre. I did want something a bit different though.

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Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 19/01/2010 21:26

I have 3 children as back up. They are her cousens and they are 9, 11, and 14 years old.

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