Would parents be willing to let there children stay on their own at a childrens party at reception age?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, for my daughters 5th birthday, we are thinking about taking the girls in her class to a victorian musium. They have a guided toor, play traditional party games and have a traditional birthday tea. There will be trained staff there to organise everything.
I'm not sure if the parents would be willing to drop them off and pick them up later.
All the partys I've been to so far, the parents have always stayed with their children. If we had to pay for the parents as well as the children, it would be far too expencive. The children range from 4.5 to 5 years. (reception class)
Should I try to speek to the mums first to see if they would be o.k with dropping them off?
I think I'd have to make it very clear in the invites that it's only drop off, or it could be embarassing if the parents try to come too.

I know I am late in this but just for the record, I wouldnt dream of leaving my reception aged child at any party. She would hate being left. If it was at somebodys house I would pop out for some of it to encourage some independence, but at soft play or museum or even village hall i certainly would stay. They are only 4 or 5! Still tinies in my book. We did whole class parties for my three dds, and i reckon most parents stayed.

Well, I'll find out how much it would be for the parents as well as the children. If it's too much, I'll have it at a soft play centre. That way, the parents can stay free of charge, and do the musium wen she's older.

mummyloveslucy - you make me laugh so much - you have 'back up' children

You can't hold a children's party and expect to relax at the same time - you will be responsible for other people's children in a public environment. You will be more alert then you would be with your own child.

Do you have space at home for a tea party and traditional games? 10 reception age girls don't take up that much room!

I think it sounds lovely and a bit different, but wonder whether they'd enjoy it more aged 6 or 7?

I do leave DS at parties in people's houses (he'll be 4 in May) and would leave him in a in a museum if I was confident of supervision levels (ie that someone was in charge of him re: toilets, checking he wouldn't run away!).

If its 10 children you need 3 adults, even if there are people from the museum helping.

Check with the museum maybe they'll give you a special rate for adults who are just watching?

If you do decide to go ahead in the RSVP section of the invite write - "drop off only - although space for a couple of adults to stay and help if you let me know quickly".

Also if only 11 girls will bet at least 2 don't come and another fails to show on day!

I don't mean that horribly btw

I would, I think, have been willing to drop off my dd at a party like this when she was in reception. That's assuming that the museum would be providing two staff (which most would as a child protection thing) and you'd be there, so less than four children per adult (which is the ration on school outings).

I don't think you need one adult per child - that really is overdoing it. But your chief problem seems to be the uncertainty about whether you'll have 10 children. Are there really no boys in the class with whom she's friends?

I think it sounds a lovely idea for a party.

We always had parties at home when they were infant school age, and didn't want all the parents to stay clogging up the space, so put drop off and pick up times on the invites to drop the hint.

I do think it's differnt at a home though, it's more contained, when in a more public environment I would tend to stay.

Well, I would stay at soft play say, but that is a free for all with no real supervision, but at a more organised structerd party I'd feel more confident to go.

That's really helpful isn't it.

IME most drop off at that age but by no means all, and I think quite a few would be uncomfortable doing so at a museum. I'd put off this party idea for a couple of years.

Normal to drop off, most parents are glad of the break ! - after all they leave them at shcool evereyday - although dd insisted I stayed until she'd actually turned 5 (pita as she was youngest so I was often the only one !).

Make it clear on the invitation you are paying for the kids and any adults (+siblings ) would pay their own entry, is there a cafe there. Also ask for confirmation by a specific date so you can give numbers in advance.

Even if they say minimum of 10 if numbers were less on the day (ie a child is ill) you'd probably just pay the price for 10 anyway. I think 2 adults + staff to 11 kids is fine.

deloola- I know, it must sound funny. My "back up" children are much older, so I'm not sure if they'd really enjoy it, but they would come to make up the nombers, either that, or I could ask a few from the year above.

I would love a party at home but we don't have enough space for the parents and children and we live out in the sticks a bit, so there wouldn't be anywhere that neerby for the parents to go.

There would actually be 3 adults at the museum, me, my husband and my MIL. It's a small musium. It used to be a cinima. The gates are locked to stop people wandering in off the street. (unless they've paid of corse)

MLL - Well, with three adult family members plus museum staff in a gated environment, it really doesn't seem unreasonable to expect parents to drop off.

As I've said before on threads about parents staying (or not) at parties, when parents do insist on staying it's often about their inability to let go, rather than the child's need to have them there, iyswim.

I have been to so many parties where a small kid (under 7 usually) has ended up crying their eyes out for their mum or felt ill and unable to find the parent or the host isn't really watching that well.

Madbadanddangeroustoknow, you may feel that way but many others do not. Some people may have a kid with SN that may not be obvious. What you feel as unreasonable may be totally different to anothers. Just to dismiss them as having an ' inability to let go' is shortsighted.

I wouldn't have left DC alone at reception age, either. DS1 too boisterous, DD too clingy (she'd rather not go at all than go by herself), and DS2 too emotional (and rambunctious) -- guaranteed he'd end up crying for me within an hour. DS2 had a massive nose bleed when I left him at last school disco (already in Yr1 by then, too) and the school staff had a mad panic about it. I was completely blasé when they rang me to urgently come, because I know that a gusher from DS's nose is entirely normal for him, but the poor staff didn't realise.

For some children you might quite like parents to stay, even if you don't know it.

I'd LOVE To leave DC as soon as reception age, but just not best for them.

At that age, my DD either went to peoples houses and was left, or 'soft play' type places, where most (though not all) parents stayed. I think in the case you describe, where there are staff, quite a lot of parents would leave their kids, but some wouldn't want to and some kids wouldn't want to be left.

My feeling is you might be better keeping this museum party for a couple of years and doing something a bit more ordinary this year - reception age kids love home/village hall/soft play type parties, its when they get a bit older they want something more imaginative.

I would leave my child.

The last thing I would ever want to do is have to endure a whole kid's partry!!!

Just make it clear on the invites that parents don't have to stay, just drop off and pick up.

Jellybeans - I just knew that someone would raise the issue of children with SN. I know perfectly well that some children have SN and want/need the support of a familiar adult at a party. But I also know, from long years of observation, that very many of the children whose parents hover around them at parties do not have SN. That's why I distinguished between whether the child needs the parent there or whether the parent needs to be there. It's also why I deliberately said it's often - not always - a case of the parent being unable or unwilling to let go.

My vision is 20:20, thank you.

Absolutely. I wouldn't want to stay