What does it mean to be a 'pushy parent' ?

[Pitchounette]

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I would classify a pushy parent as anyone who 'pushes' their child to do something they aren't ready or really don't want to do, such as reading at 4. I have friends whose children are reading at 4 and the children wanted to and love doing it. My dd isn't interested at the moment so I am leaving it.

As a parent you have every right to challenge what the teachers think about your child, especially when it comes to what they can do. If you and the teacher are at odds then I would talk to them about why they think your child is only at a certain level and you think they are higher.

I had a few parents (I used to be a teacher) who would challenge me about the level their child was, especially in maths. What I found was in most cases the difference lay in our knowledge of the children's understanding, for example reading is so much more than being able to say the words.

Wanting the best for your child is not pushy. Making your child unhappy, anxious or nervous about achieving is.

Gosh, Pitchounette, are you sure about that? My experience of the French state school system (in Neuilly-sur-Seine, so hardly a sink school) is that once your child has 20/20 on the NC the teacher doesn't think anymore needs to be done and even if the child concerned is totally bored and understimulated, doesn't see the need to do anything about it - the teacher's job is done and parents with children in this situation shouldn't be complaining.

Pitchounette - is this perhaps also a Parisian/large city thing? DH's parents are very country petit bourgeois and couldn't care less how he was doing in school. They had no aspirations for their children (just thought they would be living exactly like them). The only homework his mum was concerned about with Cathecism (?spell)! His mum laughed at me because I read to my children from the time they were babies, and feel that I am a pushy parent because I expect them to try do their best always, and expect them to do "well" at school. I have met DH's country cousins, and they are very similar in outlook to DH's parents.

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Pitchounette - I agree that children who are getting 20/20 here in France are generally advised to jump a year. However, this practise (along with redoublement) is increasingly controversial - if you look at statistics, France has more schoolchildren out of year group than any other developed country by far. It is not widely considered developmentally advantageous to be outside your own age group at school.

My DSS2 was considered for this. He didn't want to and DP didn't want him to - DP was a year ahead from CP until lycée and he greatly regrets it, as do many of his and my contemporaries who were in the same position.

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