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Parenting

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Original poster

Is it just me or do some mothers get on your t*ts????

43 replies

soknackered · 07/01/2010 09:57

I met a group of ladies few years ago at a baby group when we had our first and we have kept in touch over years/ kids play together etc / new babies have arrived etc.

we all have different ideas on parenting but just recently, one or two have started to really irritate me. I respect everyones right to bring up their kids how they choose but some are just too damn opinionated. We have a GF fan amongst us and if i hear once more what a nightmare she is having as her baby has woken ONCE and so the routine might be broken and what will she do etc I dont think i will be responsible for my tongue!!!

poor kid is probably cold/ill/hungry. and because i am slightly more relaxed i get 'advice' ALL the time from them about how to be strict. I dont want to be strict. My kids are happy and well looked after nd hug and kiss all the time!

I have had som serious stuff to deal with over years and just wonder....do some have that little to worry about? Can women not just be grateful that they have HEALTHY kids....go to a childrens ward and see how hard some parents have it!!!! AAAAAaRRRRGGGHHHHH

rant over!!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MrsSantosloves2010 · 07/01/2010 10:00

TheWhiteStuff · 07/01/2010 10:04

the moral of this is NEVER attend mother and baby groups or coffees with groups of new mums.

Just stick with your old mates.

I went once to M&B, couldn't wait to get out.

misshardbroom · 07/01/2010 10:24

I hear you.

It's exactly why I stopped going to toddler groups when mine were little.

Stick to your guns.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

CMOTdibbler · 07/01/2010 10:27

Yup. And some dads are as bad.

misshardbroom · 07/01/2010 10:35

I actually find dads like that worse. I'm all for dads being hands-on with their children, and in fact Mr Hardbroom is a dab-hand with all things child related. But when they're telling you intimate information about their wife's ability to express milk or about their child's sleep patterns, I'm seized with an overwhelming urge to tell them to grow a pair.

upafrozenhill · 07/01/2010 10:41

This is excatly the reason why I never went to mother/baby classes. Also never joined PTA, hung round mothers at the school playground etc etc.

In fact I didn't even bother with ante natal classes the second time round because the bloody 'right on' women that were there when I had DS1 put me off for life!!

Stay with your own friends or make friends with new people naturally rather than enviroments such as m & b places.

ajandjjmum · 07/01/2010 10:54

Mums are people - you like some and not others.

Paleodad · 07/01/2010 11:05

so misshardbroom as a dad i shouldn't give a toss about how my kids sleep and should leave it all to DW???

misshardbroom · 07/01/2010 11:26

No, not at all. As a veteran of three incredibly sleepless children, I've been only too glad of DH doing his share. But the bottom line is that children need feeding , weaning, potty training, they sleep (or not), they're weaned one way or another. I find it pretty tedious when anyone, mother or father, wants to regale me with the minute details.

Paleodad · 07/01/2010 11:36

fairy nuff, perhaps I should take note as i'm sure I bore people on a regular basis...

misshardbroom · 07/01/2010 11:39

How old are your children, Paleodad? I do have to admit that my tolerance of this stuff has waned significantly since my children left babyhood. In turn, I probably bore the pants off parents of teenagers who don't really care which level reading book my children are on, or when the INSET days are!

GreensElves · 07/01/2010 11:45

hmm, hardbroom, I think paleodad has let you off a bit too lightly

your "grow a pair" post definitely implies that it's unmanly in some way for a bloke to be focused on such things, and that it annoys you more when it's a dad that bores you with details

and I must say I wasn't especially "glad of" dh's input when my two were tiny - it never crossed my mind that he wouldn't do his share, he's their father. I would have been pretty pissed off if he hadn't considered himself equally liable for sleepless nights and shitty nappies tbh

I think you may have a tiny attitude problem there

misshardbroom · 07/01/2010 11:50

I wouldn't call it an attitude 'problem', I'd just call it a different attitude to yours.

Sadly, it did cross my mind that DH might not do his share, because I've seen all too many cases where men haven't pulled their weight with small children in the family. One of our friends (a well educated man in his 40s) prides himself on never having changed a nappy.

I was 'glad' that my DH wasn't like that, and that he was involved with the sleepless nights and shitty nappies. I was 'glad' that he didn't behave like certain other men of my acquaintance.

Paleodad · 07/01/2010 11:52

DD is 3 and DS is 0.4, so i ma probably a little obsessed with sleeping patterns at the moment! Maybe it's because i'm a dad and (huge generalisation alert) dads don't tend to discuss parenting methods etc. too much that I kind of disagree with the OP.
And besides when I am lectured by other parents about the Right Thing To Do, it's always fun taking the piss later with DW...

Paleodad · 07/01/2010 11:54

Crikey, i pause to post and it all kicks off!!

GreensElves · 07/01/2010 11:55

interesting that you are contemptuous of men who don't do their share, but also think men who are preoccupied with their children's sleep need to "grow a pair"

is there anything men can do which would be OK with you? Did you issue your dh with a script?

misshardbroom · 07/01/2010 12:04

No, I don't have any problem with men being preoccupied with their children's sleep. As Paleodad says, when your babies are little and sleepless, everyone ends up obsessed by it.

For me, personally, I do not really want to know the ins and outs of whose baby took how many ounces at what time and then what the contents of their nappy was like.

I'm used to some women I meet telling me all the tiny details of their relationships, or describing clothes they've bought in close detail, or relaying a blow by blow account of a conversation. It always surprises me when men do it. Therefore, for me personally, a situation or habit that annoys me when a woman does it, serves to annoy me more when a man does it because I wasn't expecting that sort of conversation from him in the first place.

I don't think there's any call to make personal comments about my relationship with my DH, especially when I've only said very positive things about him anyway.

GreensElves · 07/01/2010 12:10

"when they're telling you intimate information about their wife's ability to express milk or about their child's sleep patterns, I'm seized with an overwhelming urge to tell them to grow a pair"

"No, I don't have any problem with men being preoccupied with their children's sleep"

surely you can see that these statements are contradictory?

It pisses me off when women imply that real men don't talk about feeding/sleeping/babies in general. Which you did.

misshardbroom · 07/01/2010 12:17

They aren't contradictory.

They can be as preoccupied as they want with any of those topics, they just don't have to tell me about them.

Neither do women.

It is quite possible to be an involved, interested, proactive father without updating everyone on which page you've reached in the She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named book.

That is my personal view. You are fully entitled to yours.

BambinolovesBeccie · 07/01/2010 12:34

What TheWhiteStuff said!!. M&B groups make my teeth itch.

Now DS is coming up to 1, I have started him at nursery for 2 days a week. Lots of fun for him without me having to deal with the competitive mums.

stagefright · 07/01/2010 12:46

Well I must be the odd one out because I met a wonderful group of mothers (and fathers) and have continued meeting weekly with them for 3.5years. One lady out of 11 is a little like this but its easy not to take notice when there are so many other open minded mums each with their own parenting style but happy to let you get on with your way of doing things.

Paleodad · 07/01/2010 12:48

How dare you insinuate that i am a devotee of SHE....

chopsache · 07/01/2010 12:52

Tbh I don't mind other mums (or dads) telling me about their children's sleep patterns or feeds or dirty nappies, especially if they're stressed out about it and need to get it off their chest. I would object, however, to someone giving me unwanted/unasked for advice on how to be strict with my own kids as the OP said.

satc2bringiton · 07/01/2010 12:53

MHB - I did have a smile reading your 'grow a pair' remark - I dont think it was meant too seriously

OP - Yes very annoying when anyone tries to give you parenting 'advice' when your not even asking for it - infact quite rude IMO

thumbwitch · 07/01/2010 12:56

what ajandjjmum said - but if you find them insufferable, move on and find some different people who are more on your wavelength.

I never went to ante-natal classes, nor post-natal groups, nor M&B groups so I don't have personal experience of them - friends' tales of them were enough for me to decide I'd be better off without! (plus I knew I was going to be emigrating shortly so didn't need to make the social contacts for DS's sake).

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