How well did your mother handle the talk about periods?

[duchesse]

I just remembered earlier how very badly my own mother had handled it. As far as I remember, my sister and I were just hanging out in my bedroom - I must have been about 14 and she was about 12.5. We very rarely hung out together so my mother must have been spying on us to get us both in the same place. My mother opened the door, chucked a pack of sanitary in on the bed, said "Here, you might need these" and shut the door again. My sister and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing, it was so ridiculous. She never said anything more about. She was so obviously paralysed by embarrassment that I actually felt sorry for her. Lucky we already knew about periods etc, and were quite late starting (in my case anyway- my sister and I both started at the same time).

My mum must have been terrible at it.
I must have been about ten and was in the bath so HUGELY uncomfortable hearing all this stuff when I had no clothes on iyswim.
The result was that I was convinced that I'd bleed from my belly button. No explanation of pads and belt she told me I'd need (no options given either!) and I honestly thought it would tie round my waist (couldn't understand why so much slack when I tried it out - too embarrassed to enquire further).
Getting my period (years later) was a huge relief.

FWIW I must be quite good at it. After having a couple of low key chats with DD aged 6 she would ask me to go through it with her whenever we had a chat. Then when we were walking the dog one day she asked her big brother
"Pagboy, have you asked mum to tell you all about the period thing? Its great isn't it"

I assuured her that 15 year old boys love to chat about that sort of thing.

I was 12 started my period didn't know my dad spotted blood in toilet and took me aside and told me mum was never allowed to talk to us about anything he ruled with an iron rod he said jump and it was how high.

No talk, just gave me a book (on the subject).

My Mum was a bit rubbish - she left a leaflet written by 'simplicity towels' (remember them??) on my bed one day when I was 11.

I started my periods on holiday with my sister and Dad and had to go to a German chemist for supplies without anyone knowing! It was awful.

Took me a year to actually tell my Mum I'd started and she was absolutely horrified that I'd been using tampons (I would DIE of toxic shock apparently) and gave me a towel like those massive ones you get in hospital when you've just had a baby!

Apparently she'd improved a bit by the time she had to explain it to my other younger sisters...

never had the talk. I read Dad's medical textbooks and worked backwards from "dysmenorrhoea" in the medical dictionary... god only knows what my sister did. We weren't allowed teen magazines or TV.

Mum used to buy pads and leave them in the bathroom, but woe betide you if you were the one to use the last one, and go and ask for more, you'd get screamed at for using them too quickly . I used toilet paper mostly.

I got some tampons from school once and mum found out and told me I was a disgusting little slapper because I was no longer a virgin.

I feel sorry for her, she must've dreaded having two daughters since her attitudes to sex and stuff are so monumentally screwed up.

A brief talk on how soon I would bleed once a month when I was about 11/12; with my little brother in the room (who she had asked to stay as he should "probably hear this too"). Not the best way to discuss what would happen to my body. I felt ashamed about the whole thing from then until adulthood

My sister handed down her copy of "The body book" which still makes me giggle as I think of the penis "Standing to attention like a soldier".

I remember being mortified asking my mother to keep me stocked up on tampons. The last time I asked (probably about 15) she asked why I couldn't buy my own with my pocket money.

She spoke to my older sister about it all and they always had a very open dialogue (but me and my sis weren't close). I think she sometimes just forgot that she hadn't told me too.

I am completely the opposite with my DCs and will discuss anything.

It's such a shame to feel hurt by something so natural.

Oh crunch that is sad. Lol at standing to attention penises.

My gran (who raised me) never mentioned anything of it. I just found out at school, which had quite a comprehensive education in this from about age of 9. So I knew what was what.

I was nearly 16 before I started my period anyway. When I did, and started using tampons, my gran was horrified and said they couldn't be used by virgins, so I must be sleeping with boys. That was an interesting conversation

My mum told me all about periods when I was about six years old and asked her what Tampax were for. I didn't believe her as it seemed so far fetched! She did repeat it several times though so I did know about it. We had lady from Dr White's come to school from when we were nine and "Living and Growing" programmes from when we were about 10 or 11 (after which I swore I would never have a child - woman in labour was terrifying).

My DD (2.4) follows me everywhere and I've already had to explain what the blood is and why it's there. Her response was "ewww". And then, "Can we have a baby next month, Mummy?"

I learnt everything about puberty and sex from Sarah Kennedy on Living and Growing too.

I don't remember ever having a conversation with my mum about periods or anything, and the main sex advice I got was that "no nice boys want to go out with a girl who is easy".

Unfortunately I was not interested in nice boys

My mum gave me the talk when I was about 10. She did it really well, unfortunately she neglected to tell me it would happen every month. Imagine my astonishment when it happened again

When I was 10[1954]my Mum and my Auntie told me together.They said that a woman's body started to get ready to have babies and if there wasnt a baby then all the extra blood which would have been for the baby came out!They had prepared a little make-up bag with a belt,2 sanitary towels and a pair of new knickers and told me I should keep it in my bag and to tell them and not be scared if I found blood on my pants.In fact I started on my 12th birthday and was so excited[that didnt last long].

No talk, I started aged 13 and nicked the sanitary towels out of my Mum's cupboard, she noticed they were disappearing and asked me if "I needed some". I replied "yes" and that was it.

I started and then I shouted my mum who said well why are you shouting me just put a pad on. I didn't have a farking clue... Searched round the bathroom and found some that was it.

My mother was a biology teacher in a girls' school so she was a pro at this.
The first I remember about it was when I was 9ish and my brother asked her what a Tampax was, so she gave him one to put in a basin of water so we could all marvel at the way it expanded

I also remember various leaflets being tactfully handed to me and the discreet placing of supplies in the airing cupboard in advance so when it actually happened I didn't have to say anything if I didn't want to.

I didn't get a talk from my mum, we all had a film to watch at primary school and the girls all got a little paper bag full of snazzy individually wrapped pads and some of those little 80s paper booklets where the girls were all wearing pedal pushers, ankle socks and pastel coloured pumps.
When I got my first one I went and woke my mum up, she mumbled "You've got some pads haven't you?" and went back to sleep!

My mum was pretty useless - too emmbarrassed, I think, to talk about it.

I had a tummy ache one say and when I told her she turned and started looking at the calendar!!! Nothing came of that one; by the time I did start, we'd had 'the talk' at school.

The period lady asked me and bf to help carry her bags to the car and on the way, said - 'you two look very mature - have you started yet?' We were both bursting with pride.

When same bf started, her hippy dad took us all (me included) out for a meal to celebrate!

And same hippy dad gave me a big hug when I started, as I had told bf who told him.

embarrassedday

I was the same as NorbertDentressangle, no chat at all from my mum, just a talk at primary school in the top juniors, just for the call. I vividly remember the lady who was giving the talk sticking a pad to her very nylon-y navy blue skirt (to demonstrate the stickyness i presume!) and putting a tampon in a bowl of water...
No sex talk either. My mum is pretty shy and a bit old fashioned about these things. She is a good mum in every other way, but a bit crap with stuff like that. I was actually staying at my grandparents when it happened and think i ended up putting tissue in my pants til I got home and could use the freebies I'd got from school (i was only 11 so the thought of actually taking any with me hadn't really occurred!)

Anyone have any idea why all this couldn't under pain of death or some such terrible penalty be discussed with Anyone Else? What was the big idea?

Sorry, just for the girls should say. am going loopy. probably same brand as nannynobnobs too, seem to recall the snazzy wrappers and little booklet!

I don't know MathAnxiety.
However I do remember when I was in the sixth form one of the teachers conceived the idea of starting a new magazine that would be more controversial and hard-hitting than the normal school mag. She came to me and asked if I would write something for it and I said yes, I would do a piece on 'Why the conspiracy of silence on menstruation?' So the headmistress promptly vetoed the whole thing as being too controversial

It recalls the headline I saw a few years ago about Saudi women almost never going for medical help about breast cancer until the disease was well nigh incurable -- I wonder how many women suffered needlessly from simple or even serious problems because of handed-down mortification about this subject..

I love your article idea, BadGradene

My mum gave me The Talk when I was about 6 or 7. She meant well, but a misunderstanding left me with the distinct impression that unless I used tampons I'd never have a baby.

When I started my periods I spent months pondering exactly what it was about tampons that preserved the ability to have babies. In the end I decided that probably the blood had to hang around inside you for a bit so you could soak back up some vital enzyme or something crucial to the reproductive process.

Mum didn't, friend told me first. I had a much older friend I was 7, she was 11 and at secondary school when she had the first lot of sex ed. She came home and told me everything about periods, and iirc conception too. Once she'd gone home I asked mum if it was true, she asked me what I knew and confirmed it was. I think she was a bit peeved someone else got there first.

Was quite a good job as a friend had early onset when we were 8, so I understood what was going on. I vividly remember a 'talk' during the top year at junior school, telling us which toilet to use to get rid of dirty towels. One friend thought it was something to do with getting towels dry after swimming, poor love.

Mum gave me a small makeup bag with pants, pads and liners in to keep in my school bag. She bulk bought supplies at the Cash and Carry, and was happy for me to try tampons when I was a bit older. I never bought supplies until I went to university, as she just provided them for me and my sister.

The sex talk was less helpful - DH (my then boyfriend) and I went away together for a week before we started at university. All she said was, 'you don't think you are going to, but if you do be careful' (we didn't)
week before our wedding when I was asking for an old towel she said she didn't know what I was getting so excited about, it wasn't that great. Feel sorry for her!