Are there many older mums out there?

[Ilovejellysweets]

I had my ds when I was 41. Are there any others like me?

I was 41. Am now 45 and adopting. Would prefer to be younger but hey ho, what can you do?

sleighbells...not trying to do one upmanship...but been a single parent since both boys were 15months and 5 years old. Maintaining job,my own home(which was mine before OH went.) Then looked after very poorly eldeerly mum for 7 months after a stroke took her memory away and gave her a dreadful alzeihmers type condition and double incontinence.I had no support at all and no family. Boys dad hardly ever took them off my hands as he was busy playing golf at weekends. I was taking my mum to day care, coming home from a very stressful job as dispenser in a very busy pharmacy,to a night of getting up at least 4 times a night to get my mum to the toilet before she had an accident. I was existing on about 3 hours broken sleep for 7 months....eventually had to put her in a home as stress was getting to me.

Im still single now....not had chance to meet anyone as i am always really busy or playing badminton. Dont know what i would do without sport!!!!!!Come and play with me at our club,where do you live.

I had ds1 at 38 and ds2 at 41 and yes, I am tired a lot!!

SleighBelle yours could be my post other than ds is 5.

Had ds at 39 and I am older than some of his friends' grandparents!

come on girls...there is plenty of life to live...come and do some regular sport....honestly ,it will make you feel tons better

Had dd at 38 and ds just before my 41st birthday. I am now 47 and the oldest mum in both my dc's classes (but only by a few weeks in dd's case) and I do not feel tired at all. I am grateful that I did not have fertility issues and had my children more or less when I wanted them, give or take a year or so.

If they want children, however, I will be encouraging them to do it earlier than me because I would dearly love to know any grandchildren for a good few years.

Looking back, I think 30 - 35 is probably the best age to have dc. But, as someone said earlier, if I'd done that then I would have had to go back to work full time as dh did not earn enough to support a family then.

DC1 at 37 DC2 at 41. Yes also tired but then I probably would be anyway. When DC2 started school not that long ago I thought I would be easily the oldest mum of her class but actually there are three others of similar age. Sometimes though, I'm made acutely aware of my status - eg at a PTA 'Eighties Evening' someone on my loud polka dot-like earrings "Wow they're great - where did you get them?!"

Sorry - just read bibbity's post - yes despite moans I am above all grateful that I was able to have them. Mid-thirties is probably best but I just hadn't met DH then - a major relationship broke up just as I hit thirty and all my friends seemed to be getting married and I spent several years feeling sorry for myself and thinking I would never have children - just goes to show.

I had ds at 31 and am pregnant with my second at 37. I don't feel old as most mums around this way had their babies in their mid/late thirties, I am however finding this second pregnancy very hard.

With hindsight we should have had children in our late twenties, I had far more patience then and financially it would have been a lot easier.

im thinking the same thing too bibbity...as mine are at the stage where they are having fun and not thinking of settling down yet. I cant wait for grandchildren..want to be fit enough to go skiing with them hopefully

Crikey! if it's one upmanship you want...

just joking with the oneupmanshipgwan tell us your story gwan gwan...but being a single mum is hard...but i guess we just have to get on with it,or go under. Dont want to go under,so gotta keep going.

Single parent since pg in 1997. Back to work when Ds was 17 weeks old. Generally 4 hours sleep a night, less if he was ill or growing! fully breast fed too, so pumping away like mad for when I was at work. Ds's father left me when I was pg and as never been around.
Developed ME after a year of doing this kind of self torture. Continued to abuse myself by working extremely hard with no respite, no holidays etc.
Fast forward to 2006 aged 42(Dd was a birthday conception)and no support etc from Dd's father, plus he didn't ever live with us, so single parent to two, though now not working for the time being...still have ME...Oh and helped Mum nurse Dad throughout this year until he died in August and then I had to basically lead the entire family through all of that, sorting all Mum's finances and paperwork out etc...and on it goes

Sorry Alypaly, but you are coming across as a bit annoying. Fair enough you've had it hard and you don't feel tired - but everyone is different, has different life stories and levels of tiredness/fitness etc.

At the moment I am tired because I'm pregnant and have a 3.9 year old and 2.7 year old to run around after. I don't know how old you were when you were pregnant, but I know that I have felt much worse during this pregnancy (at 40) than I did when I was pregnant with dd1 (at 37), but then that might be just me, or this particular pregnancy.

Personally, I'm finding alypaly quite inspiring.

its awful isnt it fivesolo....my mum died 2 years ago virtually to the day and i had to sort out everything for that too...two weeks after some really stressful meetings with social services to get her mioved to a nusrsing home.After exhaustive meetings with them to justify the move ,she died just 7 days after her transfer...i was devastated. I think i have been on auto pilot for years since OH went off with his ex fiancee. I was pregnant with DS2 when i found out,but i wai til april fools day to ask him to leave. It was my decision to kick him out but the disloyalty was killing me.

sometimes i wish someone else would take the strain,but there is no one to do that as i live alone with my boys.

hi hazey...didnt mean to be annoying,i was just trying to help by showing a positive side ,i know everyone is different....not gung ho at all. Had lots of bad health issues over the years ,as in really serious ones,but have tried to stay positive.You have every right to feel tired if you are pregnant...just trying to stay young at heart and hope that others do too. sorry if i annoyed you.

But back to the age thing: I've just had my first, born in October, five weeks before my 40th birthday and (aside from the usual exhaustion) it's making me feel years younger!

I conceived when I was 36 which would have been perfect timing for us to start our family, but I miscarried then couldn't seem to get pregnant again. It took over 2 years of fertility treatment (not long compared to some, I know) before we produced gorgeous DS, now 10 weeks old.

If I'd had my first at 36 I would have liked a second, but I feel now that playing the genetic-disorders-lottery again would be too risky for me personally, so I'll probably stick at one. It's my only regret. Otherwise I feel more blessed than perhaps I would have done if I'd had no touble starting a family.

One DS at 37 here, now 40 and ttc second (trying for a year). m/c at 39 earlier this year. Considering adoption if have left it too late.

Am frikking knackered all of the time. No idea if due to later motherhood, or fact have, ahem, "let myself go" in last three years. Am convinced lack of physical exercise is to blame, but would rather sit on here with my gin after DS in bed than go out and get physical. Used to be in good yogic shape, now am all marshmellowy.

Cheers!

mallowy even

aristocat, where is the 40+ mums chat you mentioned?

had dd at 29yrs and ds at 40

much more tired with ds

would have had him much earlier if it was up to me

Alypaly, sorry for saying you were being annoying, I had just got dd's to bed after about a weeks of sleepless nights (dd1 asthma, dd2 chest infection, and me sinusitus), and had that huge feeling of enormous tiredness wash over me when i read your post, so i was being a little sensitive.

FWIW, I agree with you that it is great if you can get involved with a sport or activity you enjoy, activity does breed energy.

thats ok hazey...no offence taken..didnt mean to offend you.

do start swimming ,then you will feel better that you are tired because you have exercised rather than because you have worked hard with little ones. it kind of helps mentally if you have a positive reason for feeling tired rather than the sleepless nights. IYGWI

dont get me wrong ,im not an exercise junky...it just makes me feel more positive and energised and gives me a reason to get going...i love the competitiveness of league matches at badminton.