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Original poster

How long does pfb syndrome last? Or is once boasty always boasty ?

46 replies

jamaisjedors · 09/12/2009 20:07

Gearing up for Christmas with the in-laws.

SIL has had totally over-blown pfb syndrome for 3 yrs now.

Thought it might have worn off a bit, what with SIL having had twins since.

Doesn't 1 DC - 3DC automatically supress any pfb-ness?

How much longer do I have to listen to SIL telling me how developmentally advanced her DD is, how TALL she is, how READY for school she is, how THICK the other children seem next to her....?

Please tell me this has an end, or give me some hints to deal with a week of it?

OP posts:
potplant · 09/12/2009 20:09

Never.

My bf has a DD who is 9 who is the most clever and marvellous girl in the world. The Christmas after she had her second child she forgot to put his name on their Christmas cards!

And don't get me started on my MIL and DH!

Original poster
jamaisjedors · 09/12/2009 20:15

Not what I wanted to hear but was suspecting so...

OP posts:
PetrusPoo · 09/12/2009 20:16

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Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:17

Just tell her that everyone always thinks their child is the best, and that it's only natural...then when she says "no really my pfb actually is the brightest/tallest/best at ancient greek/pole dancing" just make it into a joke and give her a comedy wink

if you don't take her in hand it will last forever. My cousin's mum is still appalling for this and he is 35 now.

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:20

or just say each time "no actually my child is the best" and refuse further debate in a childish fashion. Be firm and consistent and then she will learn

Original poster
jamaisjedors · 09/12/2009 20:20

I'm worried it might turn into a fight if it gets a bit much (am not known for my patience).

I tried a bit of that last year Earthstar, when she said something along the lines of "god, my DD is just so gorgeous and adorable, I love her so much".

All true of course, but I tried to say, yes it's lovely we ALL think that about our DC isn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
jamaisjedors · 09/12/2009 20:22

DH is sick of it too - his suggestion was similar to your 2nd Earthstar - he said to say "oh, is she not speaking English yet then? She's a bit slow then isn't she?"

(our two are bilingual French/English and obviously we don't think they have any special merit in that but it might do the trick I suppose...)

OP posts:
herbietea · 09/12/2009 20:25

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Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:30

to avoid a fight you need to use obvious comedy and be very childish so imo "oh, is she not speaking English yet then? She's a bit slow then isn't she?" is just far too sophisticated whereas if you just go "well my child is better so ner" and stick out your tongue each time (do not bother to vary the response at all) then that will knock it on the head as there is less that she can react to!!!

If she takes offence well clearly it is just a joke.

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:32

do not be drawn into justifying why or how your child is better. If you have to make a follow up comment a simple "my child is better than that" is enough

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:34

make sure you say this every time she bigs up her child, even if this is in public in front of strangers and dignified people as you need to be consistent

Original poster
jamaisjedors · 09/12/2009 20:39

Oh god do you really think I can do that without causing offence?

I kind of layed into her last year after an exhausting NY Eve - we were all shushed so her DD could sleep, and then said DD proceeded to wail all night while they left her to it, and woke the other children.

When the next day she made comments about my DS being up early and being noisy and I lost it.

OP posts:
DoesntChristmasDragOn · 09/12/2009 20:43

I'd go with "well, my child(ren) can speak a second language, so nerner nerner ner" and blow a large raspberry. The raspberry is necessary to turn it into a joke.

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:43

i think it will be socially acceptable to implement this plan.

After all she is being a right royal bore and annoyance. She will either see the funny side and pack it in or she won't and she will still be forced to stop it but won't like you much. I think either of these outcomes are better than a lifetime of you having to put up with the ludicrous showing off.

Actually that is another alternative - just say "show off!" and stick out your tongue each time - get dh to do the same.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 09/12/2009 20:45

AND, as the icing on the cake, teach your children to do it too

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:46

This approach is actually much better than putting up with it quietly for ages then totally losing it with her which sounds like what will happen otherwise

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 20:53

However I do not have the nerve to try this with my aunty who has driven my mum mad for 35 years with the same thing. She wouldn't see the funny side and my dad and my uncle would never forgive me - but I think it would probably work fine if you are similar ages.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 09/12/2009 22:19

I think that any response which involves "ner ner ner ner ner" is to be heartily recommended

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 22:43

Yes because there is simply no answer to nernerne ner ner without involving using the word ner in the response. As soon as you are both saying ner to each other you will know that the problem is history...so if you can lure/ entrap sil into saying that word it will be v helpful

Jamieandhismagictorch · 09/12/2009 22:46

Earthstar, I like the cut of your jib (non-sexually)

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 22:52

Let us know how you get on

the other tactic is to tell whoppers about yourself eg I was of course the tallest of all my friends at that age, just like your dd, but I ended up at 5 ft 1, or I could speak 6 languages fluently at age 5 just from watching tv on holiday and having sky tv, but of course I can't remember any of them now. If challenged About outlandish claims just shrug and say "well it seemed that way at the time"

potplant · 09/12/2009 22:53

Sorry to be a killjoy but its a bit mean to criticise the child - ie suggesting she's a bit slow. It's not her fault she's the pfb.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 09/12/2009 22:56

potplant Are you Mad ? Of COURSE it's OK to say the child is slow, she won't understand ....

Jamieandhismagictorch · 09/12/2009 22:57

That was a joke by the way

Earthstar · 09/12/2009 22:58

Aww jamie I'd be happy to play the game of ner with you any day