Which parenting style do you follow?

[KTNoo]

I am really interested to know. I have read many parenting books, from Unconditional Parenting to 1-2-3 Magic. I can see good and bad things in all of them.

What I would love to do is parent by instinct. But I seem to have landed somewhere between these 2 (imo) extreme approaches.

Just wondered what others think/do.

I love the UP appraoch of looking for the reason behind the behaviour, for example. But when I'm in an airport with 3 troublesome dcs I just want them to stop shoving each other and stand nicely and wait for the man to let us through passports. And 1-2-3 magic works, it really does. But I wonder if they will all feel I didn't love them (ok a bit dramatic but you get my drift).

Which way do you all lean?

Dont read paretnign books
I do my own thing

Make it up as I go along .

Of course different situations demand different parenting at the time and don't think that is a problem as long as the overall underlying basis is love and respect. Running across the road is dangerous and will trigger "Scary Mummy", an argument over what colour t-shirt to wear is not worthwhile having, security at airport halfway in between, IYKWIM.

I read lots of parenting books and kind of pick the bits that resonate with me and use them and ignore the rest ...

So do you do what was done to you or have completely your own ideas?

don´t read parenting books either or go with a particular theory, just my instinct, but if other people were to pidgeonhole me I would imagine it would be attachment parenting.. slings and cloth nappies and ec.. pretty child centred and indulgent etc. Ds is only 2.7 so not moved onto any ´strategies´ for dealing with more complicated behaviour yet.

My own. I really dislike parenting books.

I take what I like from different approaches and make the rest up as I go along.

Like some new age-religion! Great, I love it.

I follow the 'don't let them know you're not omnipotent' style, but then my two aren't babies.

IME, parenting 'experts' just give you more things to worry about. Also, the children have rarely read the books, so don't know what is expected of them.

the only books I liked were Sears and Sears and Penolope Leach, but they just reinforced my own thoughts. Attachment parenting is obvious and natural in my mind...but guess that's what I do.

The 'Pretending I'm doing OK but really clinging on by the skin of my teeth' method.

My GP told me it was the 'Good Enough' method

Tell me more chicken....

Anyone read the books I mentioned in the OP?

My philosphy is 'dont sweat the small stuff' ( naff I know)
I only had one rule when they were babies - they didnt sleep in my bed.
I had a routine but was never rigid about it.

I am laid back about giving them freedom, but strict about manners, food and bedtimes.

I also make sure I spend time doing fun things with them, always remembr my Mum being too busy cleaning etc to hvae fun with us.
I just ttry and go with the flow and enjoy being a parent.

Just kind of thinking aloud....on the one hand UP talks about how it doesn't matter if you love your kids if they don't FEEL loved, then 1-2-3 Magic advocates parents not being swayed by feeling of guilt, and that you should run a benign dictatorship while your kids are small.

Mine.

SixtyFootDoll, I also try to change things from my own upbringing, particularly relating to suppression of emotion and the like.

Then I wonder if I've gone too far the other way.

I aggree KT - my parents were 'smackers' I never smack my DS's.
I wasnt allowed to argue back ( even when I wasnt in the wrong) mine are allowed to but sometimes maybe too much?
Just remeber there is no right way to be a parent.

Sometimes I wish I had never read any of the books.

But they do make me feel more empowered, for a day or so....

Don't really have a parenting 'style'. Just muddle through, getting it right enough often enough to have a happy enough kid (so far!). End up ding mmore bribing than I would like, but hey-ho.
Baby-wise, The Baby Whisperer was about my level, though the bfing advice is shite.

My 2 dds are easy-going enough not to have to think too much about what we are doing. But my ds (now 6) has challenged me more than I could ever have imagined.

One minute I think the UP approach is ideal for him - he doesn't respond well to punishments etc - then I have a day when I think he is a completely out of control brat and needs bringing into line asap.

Agree with the "good enough" philosophy, not perfect, how spooky would that be??
I suppose I lean/leant more towards an AP stylee but really just because it felt natural, not because I had read it in a book.

I liked Sears and Sears, "How to speak to kids so they will listen and listen to them so they will speak" (or similar title ) and any number of tongue in cheek "best friend's guide to motherhood" style tomes.

Cannot quite do UP, too touchy-feely for me. I suppose my style is a mixture of AP with authoritative (NOT authoritarian) bits thrown in, particularly for the older ones.

I don't, on the whole read books, and if I do I only use bits that suit me. It is instinct, pretty much how my parents did it. I think that good enough is OK. the 'perfect' mother must be hell to live with! A sense of humour is needed more than anything else-and don't take yourself too seriously. Give them unconditional love and the security of boundries and you can't go far wrong.

I did read lots of them when ds1 was little, they drove me mad! Just muddle through now. Although I have just read an interesting one called 'Nurture Shock' which gives a different view on some methods.

I just follow my instincts but I think UP is probably a fair reflection of life in our household. I haven't read it, although I have read about it.

I read parenting all the parenting books & as a result feel like a massive failure at everything.
I try 2 choose my battles very carefully.