getting a baby to sleep during the day without using motion

[Vix02]

Hi,

My 5 week old baby boy is really great at sleeping at night time but I cannot get him to sleep during the day unless I take him out in his pram or in the car.
has anyone got any ideas or tips that I can try?

Thanks.

At 5 weeks DS basically took all his naps on me - either lying down in bed (good excuse to get some shut eye myself) or in a sling. He would also sleep in his buggy so I walked and walked and walked off my babyweight.

I have to agree with the majority of posters that it really isn't a good idea to let a 5 week old cry it out. 5 week olds don't have wants they just have needs - he's crying because he needs food, or needs his nappy changing, or needs the comfort only his mummy can provide.

Don't rush it - this stage lasts such a short period of time. Enjoy him falling asleep on you, enjoy long walks with the buggy (DS gets annoyed now at spending any length of time in his buggy). I have never let DS cry it out and he now settles himself (most of the time) when I put him down for daytime naps.

You guys are unbelievable, for all you know OPs baby just cried for a minute or two. YOu make it sound like she leaves a hungry baby screaming for hours. Give her a break fgs.
I always went for the bouncy chair option for the daytime, up until a few months old. We had a vibrating one which used to soothe DCs to sleep. In dire situations of baby not sleeping all day, I sometimes used a sling, and then tried to carefully lower the baby into moses basket (worked sometimes!).

And OP, if cuddling your baby to sleep/having baby sleep on you, is not what is right for you, don't be guilted into it. You are not a bad parent because you want your baby to go to sleep in a cot/moses basket. My DCs slept in the moses basket/cot during the day from about 3 months, and I sometimes let them cry for a bit (NOT for hours!!!!). Since then they have always slept brilliantly, and we have all been the better for it!

If he now settles himself at night then it could be a few different things including not being ready for a sleep when you tell him too and the fact that he can get more attention from you during the day. What I mean by that is if at night you let him cry it out but during the day you try a different method it wouldn't take long to figure it out.

fwiw i think 5 weeks is to young for cio

btw i'm not suggesting you should get him to go sleep on you.

I bf and ended up after a few months getting inot a bf to sleep pattern by accident. It was however somehting which i found easy to get out of.

I have let my pfb cry if I knew she was very tired and had tried everything else, just not needed at 5 weeks.

nappyaddict a three year old? Maybe.

But let me tell you a story about the abuse of CIO that led me to never want to do it for my baby (who, as I think I mentioned, is 5.5 months):

I had a friend who had a 1.5 year old. This child cried one night. Mummy let her cry because, that's what you do. You let them cry or they'll never sleep. The next morning after never checking on the child all night long the friend went to get her up. And found the child covered in vomit. Whether the child cried so hard she threw up or had thrown up and then cried, the mum will never know. I decided then and there that CIO would never be done in my house.

What appalled me even more was that all of the other mothers we were with agreed that the first mum had done nothing wrong.

Granted this is an extreme example.

But in my very personal and very humble opinion, CIO does not teach self soothing. It teaches the baby that no one is coming to get her, so why bother to cry?

By the way, I think a lot of problems are caused by the use of the expression 'cry it out'. Leaving a baby to cry for 5 minutes and then going to cuddle it, or leaving it to cry down for a few minutes, which some babies need to do as a tension releaser, is not the same as crying it out. People's hackles (including mine) do rise when someone says they let their baby 'cry it out' at 5 weeks, but we probably shouldn't jump to conclusions over the use of an emotive (for us) phrase.

Tee, that's an awful story

Bicnod. Oh yes, it was indeed pretty satisfying to watch the baby weight fall off as dd got some much needed shuteye. I must have done at least 5 miles a day . Hope you and lo are well, btw. I remember you from the Spring Babies thread. x

Yes it is Imovethestarsfornoone. And I really shouldn't have called her a friend, she wasn't and isn't. I was invited along to a mummy's group when I was pregnant by a person who still is a friend (and was also about this story, BTW). After I heard that story and saw the majority's reaction, I never went back.

Tee that is an awful story, but I find it strange that a person wouldn't go and check their child once they have gone to sleep. I certainly would. If my DCs ever cry themselves to sleep, I go in and check on them every few mins as Daisy mentioned (whilst they are still upset) and DEFINITELY as soon as they have gone to sleep. To not do this is irresponsible IMO, but does not mean that you shouldn't ever leave your DCs to cry and then self-settle.

Hey daisyj - how are you??!! How's your little one? The spring babies thread disappeared but I'm on the april mums thread a lot - can't remember when your LO was born but pop in anyway - they are a friendly bunch

I can't believe how far I used to walk in the early days - glad I wasn't the only one pounding the streets x x

Its very strange Undercovamutha. But its not the only story of this type that I've heard about CIO. I have also heard of someone who let their DD cry it out for hours for 13 nights before the DD finally fell asleep on her own on night 14.

So how many days is too many? How long is too long?

And my DS does self settle. He is put down in his Amby awake every night after story and songs. The other night DH and I listened to him babble to himself for about 10 minutes on the monitor before he drifted off.

But as soon as he cries? I go find out why.

And I know I am very lucky in that in terms of night time sleep, DS has always been fast to settle and fall asleep. He doesn't nap very well, but I'd rather have been sleepy at night!

Tee - just because some people use the CIO (or whatever you want to call it) 'technique' to the extreme, doesn't mean it is wrong to leave your baby to cry. It strikes me that you have been very lucky with your DS's sleeping. I have actually been fairly lucky too, but there are some people who feel like they need to try all sorts of different methods because they are not as lucky as us, and have had months or even years of very little sleep.
When I say that I left my babies to self settle, to me that involved probably 10-30 mins of on and off crying each night over a fairly small number of days, with me going in every few minutes. I know other people who have tried the same thing as me, and they have had weeks and weeks of SCREAMING for hours. So obviously its not right for them and their DCs, but it was fine for me.
So I wouldn't like to be put in the same category as someone who did CIO/controlled crying over weeks, with their baby screaming for hours. And its not fair to lump the OP into that category either without knowing all the details. Its different horses for different courses.

Of course it is Undercovamutha. Some people do it right. Some people do it wrong.

I said I knew I was very lucky. But I also know if I wasn't very lucky, I still would not be able to leave my baby to cry just because I wanted him to sleep.

When I used controlled crying for my dd at 4 months i sat outside the room checking on her after a minute, then 2 etc etc..... I never left her screaming without checking!! The Amby thing looks lovely and i hear its very soothing if you can afford one..... great for babyie who like to be held as it supports like a hammock and has the movement aspect too. WHen my dd
broke her crying cycle she needed nothing...... however in the DAYTIME it was essential that she had 'wind down' quiet time with me first and a calm, darkened room with just a bit of white noise to make it more soothing...... perhaps having this 'wind down' time might help x

Sometimes they NEED to sleep but cant drift off though so i get what OP is saying, however my dd slept for no more than 20 mins/ 30 mins during day ever!!!

I could and can tell when my dd needs to sleep ...... its vital for us all!!!! But if this was 'AIBU' thread I could understand all this debate....... however I was simply trying to support the OP saying that some babies need little sleep during the day and catch up more at night when there is less going on. My dd was a very busy baby and sometimes would get beside herself getting over stimulated! When your baby is fed, winded, has been entertained, cuddled and is generally unhappy, whinging etc.......is sleep not the next thing you think of. If I left my 7 year old to decide when she was tired now she would be up all night and then feel lousy, sick and unhappy the next day. Once you get the hang of a sleep [
pattern OP it gets easier to see what they need and when...... but up until then it is trial and error...... I DO NOT READ MANUALS...... I simply take time to read my bays signals.

babys signals...... oops i am rubbish at typing quickly

Woweee. Sometimes mumsnet is so unbelievably helpful, and sometimes it is just so judgeypants. Did you used to gang up on kids in the school playground as well?

Well starlight, I guess 'mammal' babies that are easily overstimulated (unable to filter out enough sensory input to prevent overtiredness) get cranky and scream it out just like babies do. But perhaps mammal mummies also are able to recognise signs of overtiredness in their babies and provide the appropriate conditions for their babies to sleep (whether cuddling/rocking/leaving alone/going to a quiet place - whatever).

I don't think you've ever met my DD1. Amazingly sensitive to her surroundings, therefore easily overstimulated, and needs a nice quiet place to sleep. Actually - so do I - why should babies be any different? I don't expect I would get a great nights sleep being wheeled around a noisy shopping centre, and I don't expect my kids to either.

Considering this is post 49 and no sign of the OP? I think it might have been a wind up.

And yes, MN can be judgey. Why should we be better than people in real life?

OP if you are still reading this, I stand by my first post: Try rocking him/her to sleep.