Getting beyond the guilt factor....

[Legacy]

Someone gave me a health club/spa gift voucher for my birthday, and the only time I could find to use it was in the evening. So tonight I left at 7.15 to go for a massage, leaving DH to (very capably, I might add) put the kids to bed.

As I was driving to the place I realised that I was feeling really guilty, as DH & I are out tomorrow night, and also on Saturday this week.

I kept thinking that's 3 night's I haven't read them bedtime stories....
It's not helped by the fact that my 2 year old is going through a really whiney demanding, "but I need YOUUUUUU Mummmmmmmy!" stage (although reportedly is absolutely fine the minute I leave the room..)

Does the feeling guilty for any tiny thing you do for yourself ever go away, once you have kids?

Or is it just me?

Pants - I'm still in the office when I should be at home sniffing DS's head. Agree with all of this. Fit in hair cuts during office time (advantage of working in all male environment and everyone thinking you too are a man is that no one notices when you've very obviously had a hair cut). I also try not to be out more than 2 nights a week, but that might just be because I am old, tired and anti-social. Think it may be a bit different for me - sorry, an assumption, because I don't know what you all do - as I am out of the house usually for long hours so feel it is important to give DCs a bit of me every single day. (DC's by the way are happy, healthy, lively and have never once questioned where I go to - just accept it and are very keen on their lovely nanny and their lovely father)

Oh yes I get this a lot, coupled with the sheer joy of time to myself.

I do the haircut/pedicure etc stuff in worktime as much as poss, which means at the moment that I have horribly long hair with split ends and hideous feet as never get time. Sometimes I feel like I need two of myself tbh.

I don't think it's possible to get away from the guilt - even though we know it's rrational as we are feeling it.

I feel guilty that I don't enjoy my time with dd and ds more (though I really am getting over that one ) And whilst I don't tend to feel guilty about the rare time I get away from the (like www, the overriding emotion is relief at my freedom) I do feel guilty if I don't use that time really constructively enjoying myself. Dh and I now subscribe to the Motherinferior school of "if you are going to go out so rarely, make sure you have a really good time", but it means that when I spent an hour by myself on Saturday morning stuck in a shop buying my new mobile, I was kicking myself for not spending that time drinking a cold Frappuccino and reading the paper, and getting the phone on Monday with ds in tow.

Oh Caligula, I forgot about the 'self actualizing' - what fun that sounds!

Yes - it added a new dimension to my vocabulary!