Talk to me about being the parent of 10-16 year olds please?

[LoveMyGirls]

Our eldest is 10 going on 16.....

We're starting to think about things like:
Later bedtimes
Sleepovers
Going out alone
Being at home on her own
Being taught to cook
Periods
Having boyfriends

I'd love to hear how you cope with all this stuff as it's all going to be new to me and I'm still stuck with my fingers in my ears going la la la la la and nooo she's my little girl, she's only 10! But all this stuff is creeping up and i want to be prepared so come on hit me with it.......

How old were yours when they started all this stuff? Any advice?

I really don't want to give too much or too little because I know once I have said she can stay up late or go out on her own etc there is no going back! eeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkk

"If they'll let you, shopping with them is fascinating"

Ha ha ha - they won't go shopping without our credit cards us

Before ds2 was born ds1, DH and I would go shopping, have lunch out and then go to see a film. We did it so often we used to see films we'd never even heard of. It was great fun.

The chats- ds1 has a wicked sense of humour and will have me in stitches.

And periodically ds1 and I leave dh and ds2 to it for the day and go out. We've done Chessington, Thorpe Park, London etc etc. He urges me to go on rides I might not otherwise attempt. And we giggle. A lot.

Watching his sense of responsibilty grow is endlessly fascinating as well. Those flashes of 'grown-up' attitudes and behaviour are as touching as the first steps, first words etc.

The hugs where his head is unexpectedly nearer mine than even a couple of days ago.

And being able to leave ds2 with him while I pop to the loo/fetch the washing down. And the help bringing in the shopping. Sending him to Waitrose for things I've forgotten (albeit with a little 'sweetener' for him

There's no doubt that they're hard work. But blimey they're fun too.

DD1 is 10 soon so watching this. Though she sets her own rules and seems to be going from 5 to 45 missing out the middle. I found her the other day in the kitchen wearing a flowery dress and apron making a sandwich

I have heard her giggling about boys but she denies any interest

I thought as dd's got older I would be more restricted because of having to give them lifts everywhere, having to watch every move incase they get in with the wrong crowd, worrying about sex/ smoking/ drinking/ drugs and because they don't come home on time/ won't answer their phone etc. I thought I'd have to give up sex because we'd never get time alone. Thought dd would always back chat me and roll her eyes every time I spoke to her.......

I hadn't actually thought it might be more fun and easier

So can I really relax and stop panicking now?

Can I start thinking about what I'll do work wise once they have left school? Probably a bit soon for that as dd2 hasn't even started school yet It will come at some point though won't it, though I really enjoy what I'm doing for now.

Ah this is nice
I'm secretly very excited about ds1 growing up. He's just 10, yr 5 and things are definitely changing...
We've got a school disco coming up and I caught him in his room last night spiking his hair up with gel whilst practising his moonwalk

You do still worry - and I am always giving lifts - and the worry about sex/drugs/teenage suicides etc is still there but very much reduced because no subject is taboo in our house and we always keep talking.
You do find they are out of the house more - at sleepovers, with friends, shopping etc - so you just have to be more creative with your time when it comes to sex!
It isn't necessarily easier - just different - and much less scary when you are actually doing it than thinking about it!
Teens can be horrors but on the whole the ones I know are good fun and with strict guidlines, discipline and love they are lots of fun to have around!! (and can be bribed to do most chores for money or food so quite handy too!!)

There are times when I think OMG I still feel like a teenager myself I'm not ready to be a mum of a teen, is it just me or does everyone feel like that?
There are times I wear hoodies, short skirts, have the odd hangover, see bands, go out til 3am.... Do I have to grow up more now? Set a better example? How does the mother of a teenager act?

Bribe you say? Humm

DH did say the other day well we'll just have to send her to the shop for a loaf of bread so we can have a quickie occasionally is this what you mean by creative?

I don't think the sex thing is all that difficult unless you regularly pounce on each other in the livingroom. A basic knock-on-the bedroom door policy (and a small bolt to avoid embarrassment) like you would extend to them will suffice. My 13 yr old dd and 14 yr old dss when he stays over tend to go up to bed by ten to watch a dvd in bed if they aren't tired so we can have a bit of time on our own after that.

They are much more independent and are sometimes out in the evenings (like tonight- a trip with the school to a winter sports centre), so you do get time to yourself anyway. It's genuinely fun to play movie quizzes or something all together some nights, or have a chippie tea together, and it's great seeing them with the younger ones and being able to leave them in charge for a time, or get them to bring you a lemsip if you're poorly etc.

It's great- if you keep a sense of humour and openness, I really think that teenagers are a lot of fun and great company.