Bit silly, but honest opinions please..was my DD being a brat?

[EllieG]

This is daft but something happened at a cafe/restaurant today (not a posh place, but not particularly kiddie-ish either)that I wanted to check out....

DD is 19 months old. I was having lunch and towards the end, when we had all finished eating and we were just having coffee, she says she wants to get down. I thought, well, we won't be long, and since she's sat in high chair for an hour really well, and it's not at all busy there, I didn't think would cause a problem if she got down for a bit. Plus I know she will not run around yelling or anything, but stay pretty close to me. As expected, she pootles up and down, but stops next to table where man and his missus are sitting and smiles at them. She looks at them for a min or two, smiling (possibly nattering something or other) but doesn't do anything else and man turns to me and asks somewhat agressively for me to 'take your child away!'.

I call her and make her sit on my lap, and then pay up and leave.

First impression was, 'What a fecking rude man, she wasn't doing any harm!'. But then I wondered if I was at fault for letting her wander round, I just thought was easier and less disruptive for everyone than having her squeal and squirm in her highchair. Don't want to be one of those parents who is all 'OOoo my kid is more important than anything else' though and lets their child be all annoying.

Your DD doesn't sound like a brat at all. I wouldn't worry about it.

In answer to your question, no, she wasnt' being bratty at all. You're lucky you weren't out with my mum - if one of my DCs smiles at/tries to engage in conversation with someone who's not keen, my mum just huffs very loudly and says something along the lines of "oh, some people, honestly! How rude!", whilst I pray for the ground to swallow me up . I guess you don't know what he was talking about, he could have been a bit more polite, but as far as your DD's concerned, no brattishness.

i agree with the OP that the man did sound a little rude and abrupt but as others have said too, we don't know what they were discussing.

personally i am very strict with my son who is 3, i have always et very firm boundaries if we are in public and would never let him "run round" in a restaurant / cafe etc as i don't think its appropriate. he always stayed in his buggy / highchair when he was little and now he is bigger he sits nicely on a chair if we go out to eat / for coffee etc because he knows its not acceptable to get down from his chair unless he needs the loo or we are leaving.

might sound harsh but i am a firm believer in children need to be kept under control when out and about.

sorry for bad typing - DD on lap!!

Ohhh this actually happened to me in Nandos. We were just getting sat down and a very nice little boy came over and started chattering away to us, I gave him a nice smile but didnt want to encourage him too much as it looked like he hadnt finished his meal.
My DS was in a bad mood anyway because I had told him we were going to a chicken restaurant and he was disapointed that there wasnt live chickens walking about the place (?) so he started whinging and screeching at this other child and generally not settling down properly. It was annoying because it was obvious we didnt want to interact with him but the parents were too busy enjoying their meal to notice!

OP your child wasnt being bratty. Also it wouldnt of killed the man to add a please and thank you to his request.

I think the man sounds horrible. Your daughter seems like she was being a sweetie and even if she was disturbing them they could have sorted it out without being aggressive. As for the ettiquette of allowing young children to wander around, it really depends on the feel of the restaurant, time of day etc, imo- fine in places swarming with kids at lunchtime, less good in the Ivy at 8pm etc. Often hard to judge in places which are somewhere in the middle but even if you misjudged (easily done) the man was really mean, imo.

Some people don't like free range dogs or free range children.
They are entitled to feel like that, he could have been a lot nastier or a lot more pleasant.

Your daughter sounds charming but maybe you left her too long?
I love little children and always smile/ say hello...
but when I am childfree in a cafe /restaurant I cannot always be bothered with other peoples children IYSWIM.
The guy was still a bit rude though..

Of course your child wasn't being a brat, nor do I think this man was particularly horrible although it sounds if he came off a bit rude, but as the other posters have said, you have no idea what was going on between the couple at that time.

There are a lot of circumstances in which I would forgive a curt/rude response such as extreme stress, a bereavement, diagnosis of a terminal illness and so on... You never know what is going on in other people's lives.