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Parenting

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Original poster

When did you let your toddler use the stairs freely?

68 replies

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 25/10/2009 12:08

My ds (2.3) can walk up the stairs very competently, and comes down backwards, but the only practise he gets of the stairs is when we go up and down with him.

Was wondering when should we take the stairgate off and let him use the stairs? I'm quite scared of him falling down and seriously hurting himself, but that's always going to be an issue because the stairs aren't carpeted and the ground floor is tiled. WWYD?

Or should we get a couple of thick rugs to use as a crash mat at the bottom of the stairs?

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Horton · 27/10/2009 11:30

I didn't get rid of the stairgates until DD was over three. But that is because when I tried to take them away when she'd recently turned two she cried and said 'But Mummy, I'm a baby, I might hurt myself'... I didn't have any concerns about her hurting herself with stairgates because it simply would not have occurred to her to go upstairs or set off downstairs alone. She was far more at risk of being stepped on in the kitchen as she attempted to cuddle my ankles while I was cooking.

carocaro · 27/10/2009 13:09

DS2 is 2.5 and we have never had stairs gates on the stairs, just one on his room which we have now taken off. He

jobhuntersrus · 27/10/2009 13:29

I don't have on on the bottom of the stairs, never have, just because of the lay out of our house. I just kept the door to the hallway closed when they were little. Have one at the top of the stairs which is screwed to the wall. Used to have a pressure fit one but changed it as kept tripping on it and it would come loose every now and again which is very dangerous. Youngest is 3 and I suppose we don't need it anymore really but I just feel more comfortable that he can't fall down the stairs half asleep in the night as he has to go past top of stairs to get to bathroom and our room.

We still have a gate on the kitchen but tbh that is more for the dog than the kids!

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BuckRogers · 27/10/2009 19:27

I appreciate the whole 'learning to negotiate the stairs' thing but nobody has answered my question.

Would nobody be concerned about a not yet 2yr old who although out of nappies was not yet able to go through the night without needing to wee and who would make her own way there before calling for me? She was out of nappies at 23mths and only now at 3.5 am I more confident about her making her way past the stairs to reach the loo. She still gets up to wee 3 or 4 times a week and needs to pass the stairs to get to the loo.

Are you all saying it is safer for an under 2yr old to be allowed to wander half asleep out of her room and past stairs which lead down to a tiled floor? I'm not being confrontational, I just think everyone is commenting on daytime rather than the middle of the night which is my big worry. As I said, we use a travel one which expands quite taughtly(?)against the wall and is put away in the day.

Original poster

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 27/10/2009 19:57

BuckRogers I think the main thing about babyproofing is that it has to be adapted for your family's needs, and what would be unnecessary for one family, and one house setup might be crucial for yours.

Personally I think what you say makes sense. The only reason our stairs aren't blocked at night or anything is because ds is still in a cot (and nappies)

OP posts:

SandyChick · 27/10/2009 20:04

Hello, my ds is 2.3 yrs old. I had a atairgate at top of stairs when he was crawling. Never had one at the bottom. We moved house when he was 1 year old and never pit the stairgate back up. I dont leave him to wander up and down the stairs without me knowing but if he needs to go up and down he lets me know and i stand and watch him. He used to go up and down when he wanted but he tripped a few steps from the bottom and fell which reminded me how dangerous the stairs can be.

He went into a big bed about a month ago so i have put a gate on his bedroom door so he cant get up and wander around. He has been out of nappies for around 10 months during the day and is starting now to be dry during the night too. He has started shouting of me early morning (around 7am) when he needs a wee. I take the potty into his room for him to have a wee then he goes back to bed. At the moment im happy to do that rather than leave a potty in his room for him to use or go to toilet on his own.

stinkypinky · 27/10/2009 20:09

I am waiting for dd to be able to hold the handrail going up and down. 3.4 and not quite there. I would not be confident without a rail, plus we do not have spindles to hold onto - just bare walls.
Very secure gate at top only, that is way wider than stairs - bolted out of the way during the day - only used at night. This is the safest way for me and mine.
I had a little friend who died on stairs in a 'freak accident' He was 4.

roosterroo · 27/10/2009 20:41

Never had a stairgate with DS2 hes 3 now just made sure he new how to come down in reverse.He has never fallen

I think he would have just climed the gate - as he is a little monkey!!

moomaa · 27/10/2009 21:26

I took them down for DS when he was 18 months I guess. He could go up and down the stairs by himself safey long before that(8 months or so? He was a very early crawler and a late walker, a good combination for stairs). We have steep victorian stairs too.

Now we have DD who is 16 months and I think they will be off very soon. She has just mastered coming down by herself safely but I am worried about DS who is now 2.10. With enough mucking around with it and some force he can open the top one but because of the force goes flying through. Once I grabbed and caught him and it was quite scary It is now drilled into him that he can only touch when mummy is helping him but I feel there is more danger to him keeping them than safety for DD having them there. I'll just give DD a couple more weeks to practice and keep an eagle eye on DS!

AnyGhoulKno · 27/10/2009 21:28

We still have stairgates (dd is 2) but only for crowd management purposes, as she's been able to go up and downstairs for ages. I just like to keep her in a certain zone so I know where she is (i.e. not upstairs flushing toilet rolls down the loo)

93pjb · 27/10/2009 22:41

I don't understand the inference that if you have a stairgate it is in lieu of teaching your child how to use the stairs safely. I do have stairgates (read the safety reports and went for the screwed in kind without a bar) and also try to teach dd how to go up and down stairs safely.

However, at a small 20m, not able to reach the banister she is now determined to walk down because that's what she's seen other people doing. We've got lino over a concrete floor at the bottom and as a result it will be a long time before I remove mine.

Why is the death of an adult on stairs irrelevant? Personal experience of risk inevitably has a huge effect on your assessment of likelihood, and imho, a much better understanding of the possible impact.

For interest, the following are the numbers of A&E admissions for under-fours following a fall on stairs according to the RoSPA database:

2000 33,919
2001 33,076
2002 31,755

IControlSandwichMonkey · 27/10/2009 22:56

DD is 2.3

We have one at the top of the stairs and it is closed at night but not during the day. She has been fine on the stairs for about a year.

It is screwed securely into the wall and has no bar at the bottom.

We live in a very old cottage and have steep stairs with a curve at the bottom and a door to the ground floor, so if you fell you would hit the wall and then the door at speed. Our landing is a strange hexagon that is a maximum of about 4ft at its widest point with 3 bedrooms and the stairs leading off it. DD gets up in the night to come to our room and because of the shape of our landing, as soon as she steps out of her room she is less than a foot from the top of the stairs. A slight confusion or sleep haze and she'd fall.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 27/10/2009 22:56

I just don't get that stairgates are unsafe?

If they're fitted badly and the child leans on them and falls down the stairs, or if they're left open and the child falls down the stairs..... surely that's not to do with the gate?

I only have wall-fitted gates and while I understand that not everybody can do this due to layout/rental properties etc, the gates in my house are perfectly safe and I could throw myself at them and not tumble down the stairs.

I'd also be hard pushed to climb over them (am a midget)

just saying

EffiePerine · 28/10/2009 08:47

This is v useful as we have been debating the stairgate issue - DS1 is 3 and DS2 nearly 10 mo and crawling. Atm we just make sure all the doors are shut, esp the bathroom which is at the top of the (steep, Victorian) stairs. My main worry is DS1, who is used to being able to go up and down by himself. If we had stairgates I can see him trying to scale them, esp at the top, which would be a nightmare .

We in in a flat when DS1 was a baby so the stairs weren't an issue. Taught him to come down th outside stairs backwards but he was always supervised [frets]. So do I prioritise a crawling baby (who is uaually followed by DS1 bellowing at him if he steps out of line) or a fearless toddler?

alysonpeaches · 28/10/2009 13:41

I have a 2 year old and a 13 month old and I am considering ditching the stairgates as the older children often dont put them back correctly and they are more trouble than they are worth then. Our 13 month old has found one or two ways to get through them, especially if they arent secured as well as they should be. She has learnt to come down stairs backwards and stops at the top for a while and shouts if she wants to come down.

thumbscrewwitch · 28/10/2009 16:55

IMoveTheStars - I believe the point is that when you have stairgates, you assume that they are going to be safe, so you don't necessarily take other precautions.
Then, if someone does leave them open by accident, or they aren't closed properly, there is often no other safety mechanism in place.
Whereas if you don't have them to start with, you are always more aware of the danger of the stairs.

pispirispis · 31/10/2009 00:32

My stairs and floors are slippery pointy marble and we don?t have a banister so we?ll have gates up until she?s at least 10

aWitchForLifeNotJustHalloween · 31/10/2009 01:10

my dc are 8,6& almost 4, we still have stair gates and no plans to get rid of them yet. I trust the older two on the stairs but not the youngest, our stairs are steep and there's an old wooden floor in the hallway, ahhh the joys of an older house

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