When did you let your toddler use the stairs freely?

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

My ds (2.3) can walk up the stairs very competently, and comes down backwards, but the only practise he gets of the stairs is when we go up and down with him.

Was wondering when should we take the stairgate off and let him use the stairs? I'm quite scared of him falling down and seriously hurting himself, but that's always going to be an issue because the stairs aren't carpeted and the ground floor is tiled. WWYD?

Or should we get a couple of thick rugs to use as a crash mat at the bottom of the stairs?

Why are stairgates dangerous? We have one at the top of the stairs (or we will once I've ordered the clips) that goes across DS's bedroom door, and can also go across to block off the top of the stairs.

he's not a cautious child, and even though we practice on the stairs all the time (we live in a 3 storey house, so it's unavoidable!) he still would just walk off the top and crash all the way down.

As with all these things, it depends on the child.

Please, please be very careful. Small children should always be supervised on the stairs.
Ds1 was 2 years 9 months, and confident on the stairs, when he fell down my friends stairs. I was at the bottom of the stairs but was powerless to help him. It really did seem to happen in slow motion. It is really horrible to see your child fall from the top to the bottom of the stairs and not be able to stop it.
We were very lucky. He only broke his collar bone, and just had to miss mursery, swimming etc for a month until fully healed.
My friends mother in law was not so lucky. She broke her neck and died. This was several years ago so she wasn't some doddery old lady. She was in her early 40's!
I'm not trying to scare anyone, just saying please be careful. Accidents do happen and they can be fatal.

We took our stairgate off and I will never ever put one back. When dd was not quite 2 she wanted to close the stairgate at the top of the stairs because stupid mummy had left it open (to put something in the front room for literally two seconds). She managed to push it through and fell down the entire length of steep staircase and onto the tiled hallway. Luckily only a few bumps to the head and no permanent damage (I hope). It scared me to death, she still talks about it now (six months on), and I still can't believe the stairgate itself, rather than the stairs actually caused the accident that could have been so much worse. She's cautious on the stairs and goes down backwards and up on all fours mainly, but I occasionally have to tell her off for coming up carrying things in both hands!!

regarding thick rugs, we have a mat at the bottom but the real damage was done by her hitting the wooden banister repeatedly on her way down.

DD is good at climbing up the stairs but very cautious at coming down, we still have stair gates at the top and bottom becuase we have laminate flooring and a wall at the bottom of our stairs so I am not prepared to risk an accident yet, she's only 22 months. Maybe in about 6 months time I'll consider taking the gates off.

My son is 2yrs and 9 m and the stairgates have just fallen off the walls. I have to admit I've found stairgates super useful for trapping him upstairs when trying to get ready for bed and in the bath etc!

Also, although he has been able to do stairs for ages, he would happily walk downstairs with a few things in his hands and his trousers falling down and we've had a few tumbles.

He's not a climber so I've never worried about him leaping the gates.

We have an upside down house, with steep steps witha twist leading from the kitchen down to the floor with the bedrooms. Think that the upside down thing makes it a bit more likely that DD or visiting toddlers will fall. At the bottom is an oak floor.

DD can manage stairs, although insists on carrying umpteen soft toys etc at once. I have seen her fall down a few months ago, and thought she was a goner. The gates will probably be there until she's about 34...

We've never had stair-gates either, and DD is 21 months. She's been able to go up and down quite confidently since about 14 months, though it took a month or two of me shadowing her and reminding her to hold onto the rails for me to get confident too. Now she wanders up and down at will - no problem!

I think with hard floors at the bottom I'd go for a rug or carpet or something too, JIC

Can someone explain why gates at the top of stairs are so dangerous, I think I'm being thick of missing something?

We have a very narrow landing and very steep stairs so have put gates top and bottom. The one at the top is a full wooden swinging gate that attaches to the wall and when it swings back it attaches to a magnet to keep it out of the way.

My landing also has 1 step up and down to each bedroom and I would hate for me dd (aged 2) to trip on the landing and go head first down a very steep flight of stairs.

Those of you who don't like stairgates; what do you do at night? My kids are 5,3 and 1 and I still have one up at night. It's just a travel one though so goes in the cupboard during the day. DD1 has been going to the toilet on her own in the night since before she was 2. She would get in there then call for help. She has to walk past the top of the stairs. They have a runner on them but the floor at the bottom is tiled.

How do you all cope with dozy toddlers going to the loo in the night? I would constantly worry that she would drift off the landing in a sleepy state. DS (nearly 6) is dozy enough.

Phew Im quite pleased to read that there seem to be many with toddlers that dont have stairgates

We moved house when DS1 was 16 months old and never got around to putting back up the stairgates from our old house. DS1 is now 20 months and I was sure he was the only child of his age that has such negligent parents that would not put up stairgates! tbh though he is very good at walking up, holding our hands or on his own, and only ever comes down crawling backwards. He is usually too lazy to come down on his own and waits to be carried! I suppose with no stairgates the novelty of doing it on his own is no incentive!

Would perhaps not feel comfortable with a younger non-walking child going up and down on own and when DS2 starts moving around I think we may put them back up for a while.

I've never considered that they might go near the stairs at night, and so far they never have. I have 3dc 6,5 and 20 months and no stair gates. They don't pass the stairs to go to the loo.

Also, I'm not sure why the 40 year old woman who died on the stairs is relevant. Yes it is tragic but tragic accidents happen and no one is going to have stair gates to protect adults or insist on escorting them up & down stairs.

I am not completely laissez faire however, I do have an enclosure for the trampoline and insist on helmets when cycling which not everyone feels are necessary.

We have a stair gate at the top of the stairs and one to stop them going roaming at night so that they don't go into the bathroom and fall down the toilet.
I thought of not having one on stairs until DS2 fell down them - I caught him half way before any damage was done but I re-live it every time he goes upstairs. I never leave the kids unattended knowingly, but it does happen - so would not be without the gates.

I've heard it said you get "one freebie" for each type of accident and we've had our one involving stairs. At the end of the day, just because something has not happened to your kids it does not mean it won't ever happen - you might just have been lucky.

I had stairgates at the top of each flight of stairs but not at the bottom. DS was never that interested in going up them to start with, as he didn't crawl until he could walk. Once he could walk, we started to let him climb the stairs, always under supervision as we had no banisters (hence absolute requirement for stairgates at top) and taught him to always go up the wall side.

When he was 19mo, we moved temporarily to my Dad's house - we tried to fit the stairgate but it was more dangerous having it than not, so removed it. DS climbed the stairs a few times without supervision, very fast - but wouldn't go down on his own. He still now asks to hold hands before he goes down more than one step, or if it seems too big for him, he will go down feet first.

He is undaunted going up but very cautious going down. We don't have stairs now, which is a bit of a pain because it worries me that he will "forget" how to "do" stairs properly.

I had stairgates but at 18m, DD got it open at the top and fell down the stairs on the gate. She luckily only had cuts and bruises but it was the most terrifying thing to see. So I took them down and taught her how to go down the stairs herself. We haven't had any accidents since, in fact she is quite bored by stairs and would rather be carried than go up/down. I think like lots of things prevention can take lots of forms and sometimes teaching the safe way to do something can be of more value than stopping them doing something altogether. But then I am obviously quite a lax parent!

I have a stair gate at the top and the bottom. I've only just put the bottom one on there as she has just discovered stairs.

She is only 17 months old but 13 months corrected and quite small for her age. I wouldn't trust her on the stairs alone and she hasn't yet learned to come down them.

for those who asked, the danger, as i see it, from stairgates is that the pressure ones can give way if a child leans against them yoo hard, or they could trip on the bar at the base of the stairgates.

we don't have any at the moment, and my 16month dc has learnt to bum shuffle down. i definitely still had them up at this stage with my other children though.

the only accident i've had with dc3 is on the day the gate was put up, and one of my other children left it open by mistake.

We have too many stairs for stairgates, so we use doors instead and I zone off parts of house when our 3rd who is 11months is crawling about. He can climb all the way up the to the 2nd floor in seconds and has never fallen down, have never seen him try to go down them though, I guess he knows he can't..... soon he will try I am sure! We have one very steep staircase but he still seems fine on it.

I do try to keep him away from the stairs though as I do worry he will get distracted and fall and I have to spend the whole time going to fetch him from upstairs.

immediately

Like one of the other posters above, ours came off with DD when she was about 2.3 because we had some furniture delivered and never put them back on. However, DS is 23 months and I don't feel ready to take off the top one. He has a horrible habit of just hanging around at the top of the stairs looking down and so I don't think I'd be able to relax. (It is v handy to be able to potter around upstairs putting clothes away etc with DS confined). Also DS fell down the whole flight of stairs when he was about 16 mths (I had inadvertently left the gate open to my immense guilt ) - he came out of it completely unscathed but it has made me much warier about the stairs.

DD is 18 months and we took them down about six weeks ago.

I tripped over the stairgate at the bottom of the stairs when heavily pregnant with DS and carrying DD . I was really lucky to come out of it with just a lot of bruising.

I'd love to get rid of ours and am thinking about it. I hadn't thought of putting a rug at the bottom of each dog leg but that does make sense. Do you use adhesives to stop the rug moving when little people launch themselves on it though? I have visions of tiny tots shooting off the stairbottoms and skiddaddling across the wooden floor?

I know i should hide this thread, it really really upsets me when i see people talking about having stairgates with anything older than an 18 month old. but is heartwarming to see that lots of people also dont.

Unless you have a stairgate that is seriously well screwed into the wall, or better yet, an integral part of the banisters, then there is quite a big chance that the child will come careening down the stairs on top of, or under, the gate when it comes off. that is much much much more dangerous than rolling down stairs on their own.
no matter how steep, or uncarpetted stairs are, if they are a part of your home, then your child needs to learn how to negotiate them without the danger of careening down them on a metal or wood contraption and breaking bones, banging heads etc.

learning how to come up and down stairs safely is a life skill, like walking, talking, eating, potty trainign, crossing the road safely, passing a driving test. cooking. etc etc etc.

you wouldnt leave a sharp knife hanging around where a toddler could access it, so why a pressure mounted stairgate?

Interesting perspectives, thanks. Well, we now have no stairgates on top or bottom of the staircase. His room has been completely childproofed, and he only has books, soft toys and noisy, annoying toys up there, everything wheely is downstairs.

This morning was new for us, he played in his room while I made breakfast. He hasn't been up there since. I have one of the sofa cushions at the bottom of the stairs for now until I sort out a few layers of carpet to go there.

I'm still scared of him having an accident, but I just try to remind him to go carefully and slowly every time I see him coming down the stairs, and so far he does seem to take his time.

We have a stairgate at the top, but I let DS go up the stairs on his own whenever he is happy to.

I do shut the gate at night and if I am upstairs with him, doing something else as he won't slide or bum-shuffle down, but has to walk with the banister for help. When he gets a bit taller and can walk down alone we'll probably leave the gate open but won't take it down as he does wander at night (mostly just gets out of bed and come straight to our bed but sometimes he wakes me up crying because he's got lost and is trying to walk into the corner of the room. I'd hate him to do that on the stairs!

DS is 21mo btw