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Parenting

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Original poster

What's your most 'bleeuurrghhh!!!' moment as a parent?

43 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 15/10/2009 21:11

Today DS1 was sitting eating yoghurt and after he had finished it I took my finger to scoop up what was left on his face and eat it.

It was pure, salty, stinky, runny BOGEY!!!

Bleurghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I nearly puked it was that horrid.

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BikeRunSki · 15/10/2009 22:06

I have just taken the washing out, only to discover there was a poo in the machine.

SpawnChorus · 15/10/2009 22:10

Oh I had the baby-vomit-in-the-mouth thing just a couple of nights ago.

I also had to pick bits of breastfed baby poo out of my pubes after a bonding first bath with DS2 last week.

And when DD was being potty trained a turned to see her making her poo face. A quick glance round to her naked bottom confirmed that she was indeed producing a large (adult sized) dump, so thinking quickly I cupped my hands and saved the (wooden and easily wipeable ) floor from disaster.

Acinonyx · 15/10/2009 22:23

It's a tough choice. But what comes to mind is - on holiday in the US, taking a bus out to visit somewhere and dd having a nose bleed as we got off the bus. The place we were visiting wasn't open yet, and she had bled all over her jumper.

I had no change of clothes with me, so I stood with her at the bus stop and sucked the blood out of her jumper (with witnesses).

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Woollymummy · 15/10/2009 22:29

finding a massive kiddy poo in the sprinklers at the park, where DD was frolicking with loads of other kids. I felt desperately sick but heroic so grabbed a bit of broken plastic cup from near the bin and scooped as much as I could, and then got some wipes and cleaned it up. all the other mums couldn't care less and just watched. it was stinky but fairly solid one. not my DD's!

Woollymummy · 15/10/2009 22:32

probably my worst moment was when massive mucus plug plopped out during my first incredibly long labour and stuck to my thigh like a giant sausage. I picked it off, realised what it was, and puked up two big pieces peanut butter on toast into a bowl, while also breaking my waters all over the kitchen floor. That was a great way to start being a parent!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 16/10/2009 07:25

When my dd had either giardia or dysentry and sprayed my face with liquid faeces at nappy changing time.

CybilLiberty · 16/10/2009 07:37

It was a bleuuurgh/horrified fascination as myself and dh watched a foot long, 2 inch diameter poo emerge from my 6 month old ds's sons bum as he lay on the bed, which changed colour 3 times as it came out.

we still talk about it to this day....

robino · 16/10/2009 07:46

Should NOT have read.....

pagwatch · 16/10/2009 08:48

at us all reliving the pain....

woolly. I now have an image of an exploding pregnant woman. It is like the whole coughing and farting thing only much worse

TrickOrNinks · 16/10/2009 11:48

I've mentioned it here before but it's my all-time vom-worthy moment.

Eating a raisin which I thought had come out of my son's clothing but which had actually fallen, digested, out of his nappy. It tasted unsurprisingly vile.

pinkdaisy · 16/10/2009 16:02

When I was in the bath with my ds and filling my mouth with water and blowing it at him pretending I was a whale. It wasn't until my dh came in and asked what all the brown stuff was in the bath that I realised he had pooed in the bath!!! DH that is, not DH!!

pinkdaisy · 16/10/2009 16:05

I meant DS not DH!!!!

FfreckleFface · 16/10/2009 16:14

Big kiss for refluxy one month old...projectile vomit in mouth. Pag, you're not alone.

The first time the dogs licked vomit off the baby's front was a big one, but I learned to live with it. The child produced so much vomit that by the time she was a year old I was grateful for the dogs' help to be fair.

DorotheaPlentighoul · 16/10/2009 16:23

PMSL at this thread (not literally)

Nothing I can think of comes close. We haven't started potty training yet ...

busybutterfly · 17/10/2009 15:13

Boaking at these stories...

Worst for me was DS2 in bed, did a poo. Either did a poo then took his nappy off or took his nappy off, then did a poo - either way, it was hideous.

Shit on the walls, the cot, all over the bedding, all over DS2 - and then the doorbell went.

I threw DS2 into the shower and came downstairs with armfuls of vom inducing bedding.

And my mum said, "Oh hi, I take it this isn't a good time to pop round a borrow a stamp?!"

We still laugh about it to this day (well, she does!)

tethersend · 17/10/2009 15:54

Not my own child, but... when I worked at a SEN school, we took them all to the ball pool for a day out. A lovely time was had by all right up to the point one child had explosive diarrhoea in the ball pool.

We only discovered this when a different child emerged happily shouting from the ball pool with a big streak of (someone else's) shit across his face.

The pool was quickly evacuated, but I can't begin to tell you how long it takes to clean and disinfect every ball.

TrinityHasAVampireRhino · 17/10/2009 16:01

Sitting amongst lots of women I dont know at a musical tots thing with gecko (about 18 months at the time)on my lap she was happily eating a banana but the last mouthful was too big or she changed her mind or something

she half chewed it, thoroughly slobbered all over it and then I could just see she was going to spit it out

I caught it and then, realising I had no babywipes, tissues or even a leaf, ate it....

bananastainsonallmytops · 20/10/2009 19:22

when my DS was about 1 month old, i was changing his nappy at about 11pm...and heard him pass wind, at this point i stupidly made the mistake of putting my face near his rear end...he projectile pooed all over my face, chest and hair

at about the same age, during a nappy change...again..this time on the bed. i had one leg on the bed and during the nappy change, my DS decided to do a very milky poo and it leaked all over the bed and my trousers..on my birthday as well, funnily enough.

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