What's your most 'bleeuurrghhh!!!' moment as a parent?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

Today DS1 was sitting eating yoghurt and after he had finished it I took my finger to scoop up what was left on his face and eat it.

It was pure, salty, stinky, runny BOGEY!!!

Bleurghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I nearly puked it was that horrid.

[bananastainsonallmytops]

when my DS was about 1 month old, i was changing his nappy at about 11pm...and heard him pass wind, at this point i stupidly made the mistake of putting my face near his rear end...he projectile pooed all over my face, chest and hair

at about the same age, during a nappy change...again..this time on the bed. i had one leg on the bed and during the nappy change, my DS decided to do a very milky poo and it leaked all over the bed and my trousers..on my birthday as well, funnily enough.

[TrinityHasAVampireRhino]

Sitting amongst lots of women I dont know at a musical tots thing with gecko (about 18 months at the time)on my lap she was happily eating a banana but the last mouthful was too big or she changed her mind or something

she half chewed it, thoroughly slobbered all over it and then I could just see she was going to spit it out

I caught it and then, realising I had no babywipes, tissues or even a leaf, ate it....

[tethersend]

Not my own child, but... when I worked at a SEN school, we took them all to the ball pool for a day out. A lovely time was had by all right up to the point one child had explosive diarrhoea in the ball pool.

We only discovered this when a different child emerged happily shouting from the ball pool with a big streak of (someone else's) shit across his face.

The pool was quickly evacuated, but I can't begin to tell you how long it takes to clean and disinfect every ball.

[busybutterfly]

Boaking at these stories...

Worst for me was DS2 in bed, did a poo. Either did a poo then took his nappy off or took his nappy off, then did a poo - either way, it was hideous.

Shit on the walls, the cot, all over the bedding, all over DS2 - and then the doorbell went.

I threw DS2 into the shower and came downstairs with armfuls of vom inducing bedding.

And my mum said, "Oh hi, I take it this isn't a good time to pop round a borrow a stamp?!"

We still laugh about it to this day (well, she does!)

[DorotheaPlentighoul]

PMSL at this thread (not literally)

Nothing I can think of comes close. We haven't started potty training yet ...

[FfreckleFface]

Big kiss for refluxy one month old...projectile vomit in mouth. Pag, you're not alone.

The first time the dogs licked vomit off the baby's front was a big one, but I learned to live with it. The child produced so much vomit that by the time she was a year old I was grateful for the dogs' help to be fair.

[pinkdaisy]

I meant DS not DH!!!!

[pinkdaisy]

When I was in the bath with my ds and filling my mouth with water and blowing it at him pretending I was a whale. It wasn't until my dh came in and asked what all the brown stuff was in the bath that I realised he had pooed in the bath!!! DH that is, not DH!!

[TrickOrNinks]

I've mentioned it here before but it's my all-time vom-worthy moment.

Eating a raisin which I thought had come out of my son's clothing but which had actually fallen, digested, out of his nappy. It tasted unsurprisingly vile.

[pagwatch]

at us all reliving the pain....

woolly. I now have an image of an exploding pregnant woman. It is like the whole coughing and farting thing only much worse

[robino]

Should NOT have read.....

[CybilLiberty]

It was a bleuuurgh/horrified fascination as myself and dh watched a foot long, 2 inch diameter poo emerge from my 6 month old ds's sons bum as he lay on the bed, which changed colour 3 times as it came out.

we still talk about it to this day....

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

When my dd had either giardia or dysentry and sprayed my face with liquid faeces at nappy changing time.

[Woollymummy]

probably my worst moment was when massive mucus plug plopped out during my first incredibly long labour and stuck to my thigh like a giant sausage. I picked it off, realised what it was, and puked up two big pieces peanut butter on toast into a bowl, while also breaking my waters all over the kitchen floor. That was a great way to start being a parent!

[Woollymummy]

finding a massive kiddy poo in the sprinklers at the park, where DD was frolicking with loads of other kids. I felt desperately sick but heroic so grabbed a bit of broken plastic cup from near the bin and scooped as much as I could, and then got some wipes and cleaned it up. all the other mums couldn't care less and just watched. it was stinky but fairly solid one. not my DD's!

[Acinonyx]

It's a tough choice. But what comes to mind is - on holiday in the US, taking a bus out to visit somewhere and dd having a nose bleed as we got off the bus. The place we were visiting wasn't open yet, and she had bled all over her jumper.

I had no change of clothes with me, so I stood with her at the bus stop and sucked the blood out of her jumper (with witnesses).

[SpawnChorus]

Oh I had the baby-vomit-in-the-mouth thing just a couple of nights ago.

I also had to pick bits of breastfed baby poo out of my pubes after a bonding first bath with DS2 last week.

And when DD was being potty trained a turned to see her making her poo face. A quick glance round to her naked bottom confirmed that she was indeed producing a large (adult sized) dump, so thinking quickly I cupped my hands and saved the (wooden and easily wipeable ) floor from disaster.

[BikeRunSki]

I have just taken the washing out, only to discover there was a poo in the machine.

[swissmiss]

The best one from MIL and my kids was when DD1 and DS both came running into her house saying Granny - your doggy just did a poo and here it is. Presenting her with said poo which they'd picked up in their bare hands. They hadn't realised that she uses a poop sack when collecting the turds in the garden. [vom]

[yummycrumpet]

Being in Birmingham city centre when my son projectile vomited all over me, it soaked through all layers of clothes to my skin, I then had to wipe myself with serviettes and drag myself (still covered in sick) into the nearest shop to buy myself a whole new set of clothes, the sales were on and I had to queue whilst smelling revolting and looking worse!!!

[swissmiss]

PFB was about 12 hrs old and his nappy needed changing. Unsurprisingly it was a meconium blow out so I took the dirty nappy off, picked him up to take his clothes off and he proceeded to poo meconium all down my front, him and the hospital cot. Thankfully the HCA who answered my buzz was a star, she cleaned up baby and the then the cot, leaving me to sort myself out. 3 DC's later and I've never been pooped on since .

2nd worst has to be catching DD1's spew in my chest/cleavage and hair when she had Noro. I got her up stairs and stood her in the empty bath tub. Had to go back down to get something, DH took one look at me and nearly spewed himself. He'd not quite realised what a good target I'd made. Soy formula spew is the worst imaginable.

[teameric]

also just remembered a few weeks ago DD stepped in dog shit and then wiped it off her shoe with her HAND.
I wiped it off with baby wipes (vom!) and then picked her up and ran home, shouting at her not to touch anything! then plonked her straight in the bath (on her own this time )

[DungeonButter]

breastfeeding while dripping goo from my conjunctivitisy eyes, looking down and dripping into his conjunctivitisy eyes.

oh the joys.

[annoyingdevil]

Actually, not my children. But when my cat did an exorcist style vomit and brought up a Tape worm

Still suffering the trauma

[pagwatch]

nothing says happy birthday like a shit covered thigh...