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Parenting

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Original poster

If you have no family nearby and no friends you can call on for childcare

31 replies

Tee2072 · 17/09/2009 20:27

what do you do?

Not that I have no friends, obviously, just none that don't work during the day! DS is 3.5 months old and I am having some health issues so am going to be having quite a few doctor's appointments over the next few months.

DH has just started a new job, so he really can't take time off to look after DS while I am at the doctor. Obviously I can take DS with me, he's so young he won't notice what's going on, but it certainly isn't ideal.

What I need is someone I can call on an ad hoc basis for a few hours here and there, but how do I find someone like that?

So what do you do if you have no family nearby and no friends to call on when you need your DCs looked after?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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mathanxiety · 17/09/2009 20:30

If you have a local college, place an advert on a notice board and be willing to pay. Students sometimes have a few hours in the day when they don't have a class. Alternatively, get very chatty in the local playground and ask other mums for leads.

BonsoirAnna · 17/09/2009 20:31

Do you have a friendly neighbour that you could return favours for? Maybe an older person?

saadia · 17/09/2009 20:32

If I were you I would look into the CM option and just ask around and see if anyone would be able/willing to do this.

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notyummy · 17/09/2009 20:35

Agree with mathanxiety - we advertised at a local college that runs childcare/nneb courses and got several students via that. They all had some childcare experience and were CRB checked because they do placements in nurseries during their training. I also asked for (and checked) references.

TheWorstWitch · 17/09/2009 20:36

At 3.5months, I'd have probably taken DD with me. Now DD is older, I've made some Mum friends who I could call on to look after her for a few hours. Or, we now have a childminder.

I'm afraid I'd disagree with mathanxiety in that I wouldn\t advertise for a student to look after my 3.5 month old baby. Sorry, matha.

movingnow · 17/09/2009 20:37

Lived abroad for first 5.5 years of DS's life so definitely no family to help (plus language barrier). I used local version of CM once he was 16 months , but to be honest at 3.5 months I'd take him with you. I remember taking tiny DS to dentist with me and he had to sit outside the room (in maxi cosi style car seat) for a couple of mins whilst they took X-rays.

Original poster

Tee2072 · 17/09/2009 20:38

See, that's the thing TWW, he's so little to have some stranger look after him! I'm really uncomfortable with the idea.

And I haven't made any mummy friends yet, I am hoping to join some groups soon and do so!!

OP posts:

herbgarden · 17/09/2009 20:41

3.5 months I'd take them - wait til you get to 3.5years..... but even now DD is 7months and I can still take her to appointments etc - she'll sit in her buggy fine if I give her some things to play with. DS on the other hand is another story (3.3 years)....

nevergoogledragonbutter · 17/09/2009 20:43

I moved.

I realised what a stupid idea it was to live so far from any friends and family.

notyummy · 17/09/2009 20:43

We used students when dd was slightly older (12 months plus iirc). Having said that, she started nursery at 6 months when I went back to work, and one of the nursery nurses from there would occassionally babysit for us when we went out in the evening - so I guess she had 'strangers' looking after her one way or another from 6 months.

When I was on mat leave I just took her with me to everything, and organised my mum to come up (she lives ages away so had to be done in advance) to look after dd for a day when I went into work for a day at 2/3/4 months old.

ssd · 17/09/2009 20:45

why can't you take such a little baby with you, they'd probably sleep thru anything

Original poster

Tee2072 · 17/09/2009 20:45

LOL dragonbutter. Moving would entail going back to the US!!!

OP posts:

BooBooChicken · 17/09/2009 20:47

just take him with you unless the appointments are going to be very involved.

i was on the same position with my dcs, i had to cart them round with me (newborn and 14 mth old on public transport as i didn't drive!)

it's not easy but less worry for you than him being with an unfamiliar person.

bibbitybobbityhat · 17/09/2009 20:47

At 3.5 months I would take him with me to the appointments. Its not ideal but you don't have much choice really.

nevergoogledragonbutter · 17/09/2009 21:10

well what are you waiting for? get packing!

pigleychez · 17/09/2009 21:27

I agree on taking DS with you. They are still very portable at that age.

I live about an hours drive away from any family and don't have many "close" friends here so have had to DD with me.

Im now pregnant with number 2 and starting to worry about dragging her along to Midwife appointments and scans etc.
She a confident walker at 13mth and will NOT be strapped into the buggy whilst stationary. God knows what im going to do with her when I go into Labour!!!

wellbalanced · 18/09/2009 22:35

Id take him with me, Ive had a horrid wk or two, DH had nasty accident 10 days ago and i followed ambulance with DS in tow and he stayed with us all day/nite and visted twice daily as he's BF and just easier to take, DH has hosp appt evry 2 days now and DS comes too!!

juuule · 18/09/2009 22:42

I just took mine with me.

bangandthedirtisgone · 18/09/2009 22:46

But surely you took yours with you too dragonbutter? Wasn't it you who didn't like the way your son got treated when you left him in the hair salon that time? Or was that anotoher dragon and I'm totally confused!!

Broccopolli · 18/09/2009 22:55

I have always taken dd with me. She's just turned 3, and has been to all my antenatal appointments for dc2. She's quite a shy little thing though, so is usually too timid to muck about in front of strangers and sits quietly while I do what I have to.

cece · 18/09/2009 23:00

I would happily take a 4 month old baby to doc appointment. Having said that I have to go and get a coil fitted soon and I am leaving DS2 at home with my visiting mother. Mainly because I think it might be trumatic having it fitted so don't want to be distracted by him.

If you are going back to work at some point it might be worth while finding a cm now and using her for your visits to the doc.

Romanarama · 18/09/2009 23:14

My Mum's retired and she used to look after next door neighbour's dts from time to time so their mum could do important stuff (like nap, mostly!). Have you got some neighbours you've seen around who look nice? Lots of people like having babies for a couple of hours, they're so cute and easy to entertain.

Romanarama · 18/09/2009 23:15

Btw cece, I was expecting having coil fitted to be traumatic, but literally didn't feel it at all

ssd · 19/09/2009 09:20

I remember having root canal treatment and had to leave ds1 with the receptionist, he screamed the place down for me but I was stuck in the dentists chair

as with other things related to having no help with your kids, you just have to get on with it and take them with you, there's no choice

expatinscotland · 19/09/2009 09:25

I take them with me.

Don't have a choice in that.

No one to look after them and no family nearby.

No local colleges, either, and the only private nursery only takes them when they are aged 2+.

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