So fed up with DS

[AtLastGasp]

I'm a regular poster under a new name.

I've had problems with DS biting on and off since August, and pinching since Jan. He's 2.5yrs.

We've tried ignoring bad behaviour, very positive parenting, putting down, holding ...
He will NOT stay on naughty step / corner.
He giggles when told off / shouted at - nothing seems to get through.
He doesn't care if shut in his room, even when we take out all toys, books, bedding etc. He'll still just play happily and refuses to come out when his 'time out' is up.
There is NO WAY to get through to him. Nothing touches him.
This evening I smacked him a couple of times, which I hated, but whatever my moral position on smacking, I can't really smack him while saying "no hitting / no hurting".

He generally plays on his own for hours, and doesn't usually like my involvement in his games, so withdrawing attention doesn't do anything.

I know I'm struggling (can't?) control him. I know "I'm the adult, I'm in charge" but nothing gets through.

I enjoy his company usually, and he's intrinsically a lovely and bright lad. I guess he'll eventually grow out of it, and his pre-school have had some success with controlling the biting. I really feel we've tried it all. I'm looking for sympathy and understanding, not really any more suggestiions.

Thanks for listening...

what I will say is "right we are going to get dressed no" - he normally moans and flails around!
I will then say something like "ah, but if you get dressed like a big boy you can have a nemo sticker, or would you like dorri?!!" I then find he ponders which sticker, by which time his head is in his top! then I say something like "oh, nemo does sound good show me which arm goes where - oh good boy, come on lets do your trousers - the nemo sticker is so good" and then at the end he gets the sticker! (hope that makes sense!)
Sometimes he is wise to me and still kicks up. What I would say is as long as he gets dressed without hurting you then give him the sticker. Moaning and a bit of belly aching is ok - but physical contact is a no sticker offence!! iyswim!

Gruffalo Crumble sounds good - might use that one

Not offended. I know some days are worse cos I'm not as focused on him. If I take phone calls he's bad, so I let them go through to answerphone when I need to.

Only another 6 months then? we can get there!

A few more good ideas here for slipping through the day - more stickers, and I think I'll try time outs in his buggy, so he can't play.

I must go off to bed - many, many thanks. Am calmer now, will look in on him with love in my heart. Thanks. I'll post tomorrow if you like, with a happier daily report .

I do feel really ashamed, though.

Baby Whisperer (RIP) did something on this on Discovery a while back, she immediately sat down with the child, but behind them, restraining them in a bear hug, until they calmed down, then she got them to say sorry, then let them go about their business again. Did it every time for a few weeks, until the child in question stopped it. (Hope this helps?)

Emily05: you are a star: how do you keep it up all the time? You must have so much energy!

Right, night, night.

night mate. You are a good mother or you wouldnt be on here so dont worry and dont be ashamed. Let us know how you get on tomorrow x Frisbie - the baby whisperer is a god!

Are the triggers sensory (or is he doing it because he knows its naughty)

Mushc synmpathy- my autistic son does a lot of naughtly things because he knowws theyre naughty (and therefore may get mummy to do funny things like shout). We occasionally run out fof punishments for him as wlel (ok at the moment as he doesn't like being shut out of the room). When that happens the only effective thing we can do is to try and prevent anything naughy happening..... Hard though;...

AtLastGasp - Just wondering how it is going. Hope you are ok x

Thanks all - network was down for the last few days, so not been online.

Last couple fo days have been better - helps when DH is around - we manage him better. Feeling much happier and calmer. Though saying that he's been sent to his room three times today for deliberate pinching - at least it seemed to upset him (allbeit breifly) when he went in. He didn't care after a minute or so - he was mostly upset to be taken away from whatever else he was doing.

A Q from Jimjams, the autism guru: should I be concerned? ... Actually, I don't really understand your Q - he pinches mainly to stop me stopping him playing on his own.

Thanks - see how the week goes. DH is away most of the week, so I'll be on my own.