Has anybody ever contemplating leaving their children?

[lulu41]

I know as a mother you are not supposed to do this. I love my dcs with all my heart and would miss them terribly but I wont to move out of london and their whole lives are here with their father. Our relationship is over for good and I want to be as far away from him as possible but I dont wont a custody battle as I know there would be so am considering leaving them behind.

I have often thought of leaving everyone but know I never would. I assume your depression/ads are not helping your perspective here. Maybe switch ads, talk again with a GP about more or different help.
I think any parent leaving does a little damage, to be honest, but having a break of a couple of weeks without them, climb a mountain, walk 20 miles for cancer research, sit on a beach in Barbados whatever it takes to get a little light in your life is worth it for both you and your children.
I think loving your children has to mean doing everything for them and that includes neither giving up on them or yourself.

When ive got really stressed, ive felt like walking out, but never actually leaving iykwim, but i probably am not experiencing what you are right now.
The situation must be very bad, and be making you feel very low to consider this, kind of desperate times, desperate measures etc.
Maybe if you give more details on whats happening at the mo, then posters can give more specific advice. Usually you find someone on here that has been through the same thing, whether its domestic violence, menatl health problems etc, and will know a way through. You sound very down and helpless in your posts, but theres always a way out. Best of luck.

lulu - posie and mrswill are right - do not give up on yourself first - find the strength from somewhere to start a new life away from london - please do all within your power to take your children with you, however hard the battle. you may find that once you are away from your relationship and the city you will gain space and perspective although this may be difficult in the short term, particularly if the children are reluctant to leave. what are your children feeling/saying?
this happened to us and my mum left our abusive father (30 odd years ago) had literally no-one to help and four children under 6 years old. she just about coped but ended up with mental health support for a while as the stress of it all took its toll. but i am so glad she took us all with her although i clearly remember not wanting to leave my school friends,bedroom etc. after a while things were so much better for all of us (although we were dirt poor!) and a new life began. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if she had left us and what our relationship would have been like now and I am really glad she fought for us.

Yes, I contemplated it twice, when I was depressed both times (pnd and depression) I never did it.

My ex (Dc's dad) tried making me leave them, he was controlling and abusive and wanted me out of the way so he could then give our children to his childless friend who was desperate I fought and was beaten over this several times, I would not ever leave my children.

No - I would die for my DD.......

Wouldn't have said that in the midst of PND 4 years ago though. Please get all the help you can possibly find, even if it means getting a good telling off from someone ("pull yourself together" style). You never know what will work for you and pull you back into "normality".

Good luck lulu, I really feel for you (apologies if that sounds patronising).

I can relate to your feelings and yes, I have also contemplated it. I can also guarantee leaving them would not solve your problems but add to them.

I also think it would be fairly damaging to a 6 and 11 year old for you to move away - you might think that their lives are in London with their father but the reality is that YOU are their world. Credit yourself with that.

Ddon't give on finding way to resolve the situation so you are happier and can still be there for them.

Yes, but the ex is a sit I wouldn't trust full time with a cat, so no worries about the kids.

If he was a decent man and a better parent than me I may think about it. I don't cope very well some times.

After DD was born I was systematically bullied daily by my narcissistic MIL and became a shell of my former self. I thought I was going mad. DH supported her. I live abroad where custody usually goes to the father upon divorce. I was in a total bind. I felt at the time that if I stayed in the situation as it was i would truly go mad and I felt that I was no good to my DD in that siuation anyway: I didn`t want her growing up seeing her mother being treated like shit in case she thought it was ok to be treated like shit herself. I decided to divorce, knowing that I could possibly lose my daughter. THankfully in the end, DH pulled through for me, stood up to his mother and I had no contact with her until I could sort my head out. Looking back now, though I am absolutely shocked that I thought leaving my beautiful DD was a viable option. WIth hindsight, I believe it is better for a child to live with a shell of a mother who is being abused, than to have no mother. What that experience did teach me though, was to never ever judge a woman who leaves her children (unless its because the mother is just selfish and wants her own life or some such shit, then its unforgivable)

sweetie, it's possible that you are not taking the right AD's for you, also there are other longer term forms of therapy that might be more suitable than CBT. I know it's very hard when you are feeling so low to even be able to think of things to do or manage to be able to make telepehone calls to arrange things, but there are lots of cahritable trusts in london who offer longer term, free/low cost psychotherpay for women. Woman's aid are a good starting point . Also go back to your GP and tell them that the current AD's and CBT are just not working and you need an alternative now (explain that you were thinking of leaving). Hope you find the right help soon.