What's the BEST parenting advice you've ever been given?

[MrsMerryHenry]

May as well balance things out.

god knows

I like the phrase 'good enough' parenting. Sums parenting up very well.

"Don't try and live up to anyone else's expectations of a good mum. You'll find your feet in your own time. All this little one needs is for you to be happy and love her and she'll be the luckiest little girl around"

My mum said this to me whilst I lay covered in blood and sobbing onto DD's cheeks just after I gave birth I repeat it in my head whenever I'm unsure of what I'm doing and whether or not it's good enough

This too shall pass, it became my mantra when DD1 had awful colic.

My first HV also gave me the advice that has stayed with me to this day, "when it gets too much (the crying) walk away, have a coffee then go back and start again.

Another truism is that no-one, not the HV not the GP not your mother, knows this child better than you do, trust your instincts every time.

Make a bedtime.

From the second week: bath, feed bed.

Even though up an hour later, two hours later, whatever, after that it was in the dark, it was night time.

That was great advice, superb. It had a "job done" type of feeling, and set up a nice routine.

Listen to your baby and get to know them, trust your instincts.

People would say this and I'd think 'wtf? how can you get to know a tiny newborn? I'll never manage it'. But I did.

Just starting to get to know him as a toddler now...anyone got any gems of wisdom about that?

just because they've not slept a lot during the day does not mean they will sleep better/longer at night!

'If the baby won't stop crying put it in the pram (or 'wear' it, or whatever) and go out for a walk.'

'Trust your instincts'

'Don't hold back on th calpol'

"Pick your battles" - Has helped me avoid many unnecessary toddler tantrums!

Ask yourself "does it matter?" when preparing to say no to a toddler. You say no much less and have fewer battles that way - makes life nicer for everyone concerned!

Definitely trust your instincts.

Your child is not you

trust your own instincts

Do what works for you

Not so much advice, but I was given the book 'Your Baby and Child' by Penelope Leach and reading it has had a huge impact on my parenting style.

You will be the expert on your baby. (And MN, of course. )

Also liked: "It is all just a phase. When things are going well, enjoy it while it lasts. When they aren't, remember it won't last. And never forget, just as you think you've got the little bugger sausage figured out, he will go and change."

Finally, all those little old ladies who tell you to enjoy them while you can, it all goes so fast, are actually right.

never wake a sleeping baby

'This too will pass'
My mantra.

Not advice, but I was telling my mum about all the different weaning advice and ideas about getting dd to sleep and she said 'You and your brother are both able to sleep through and feed yourselves now' (we are 30 and 27) Made me laugh and put it all in perspective.

"They cry tears, not blood"

From my mother in law.

Remembering that helps you to stay calm (and to sometimes let them bloody get on with it!!!) and especially when they were babies, taking a deep breath and calming down and thinking "it's just crying" helped me to deal with it. Mostly.

My mum, who had four girls, always says that 'parenting is learning to let them go'.

It applies from the first time they climb the stairs unaided to leaving home I think.

She parented me on her second mantra-'Dread is a fine country'.

Less noble, that one.

Lentil

I'd also nominate 'he'll do it when he's ready'. So far this has been true of napping, sleeping through, drinking water, crawling and eating food; when I have stressed about these things in the past, remembering the above has helped me calm down about them. I look forward to applying it to all manner of future experiences.

Whatever works

'no one ever said parenting was easy'

my friend said this to me off-the-cuff, and in dark moments, in the dead of night, it's such a simple yet deeply comforting sentiment.

Swaddling!!

'it will pass'

'sleep when baby sleeps'

'you are not the only mother pacing the floor with a crying baby at 2am'

Not advice really, but it helped me get through some tough times, knowing that I wasn't the only one going through that particular hell.