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Original poster

Shocked at other peoples' rude comments!!!

44 replies

littlemisslozza · 20/08/2009 14:11

Just want to let off steam.....
When expecting DC2 (gender unknown throughout pregnancy), was asked in the supermarket by someone I know if we knew if the baby was a boy or a girl. We already have a DS (almost 2). I said 'no, we are having a surprise'. Person said 'what will you do if it's a boy?!!' (Send him back????!)
I was so taken aback I just said we'd be happy with either gender, which was the truth.

Neighbour asked the other day if baby had arrived yet, upon the news that yes, it had, and was another DS, she said 'oh dear'.

Why are some people so tactless and miserable?! Some people aren't fortunate enough to have children, nevermind the gorgeous healthy little boys I have.

Feel better now!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail · 20/08/2009 14:14

aaargh
Congratulations!
How sad for people that the worst thing they can think of is to have two children of the same sex

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail · 20/08/2009 14:16

Well I'm having DC2 in a few weeks and I want one of each to go with the DS I already hvae! But I'm only having one more child so will be overjoyed either way.

Lizzylou · 20/08/2009 14:16

Congratulations, I have 2 boys, 2 years apart and they are lovely In the main

You'll get the "trying for a girl next?" comments soon

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Tidey · 20/08/2009 14:20

How ridiculous. I have a friend who had two girls then had a boy, and someone said 'What a shame, I knew you wouldn't be lucky enough to have a third girl' to her. WTF?

Congratulations on your two boys

mumtoem · 20/08/2009 15:32

Congratulaions on your two boys. I does amaze me that people are so thoughtless. Whenever I was asked what I was hoping for, I always said "so long as it is either one or the other I don't mind".

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 20/08/2009 15:35

remind them 'its an heir and a spare'

KnickKnack · 20/08/2009 15:37

I think sometimes people are just just for something chatty to say on the spur of the moment.

If you have 2 boys, you will get a thousand "are you going to try for a girl"

and if you have 1 of each, you will get a thousand "you have a gentleman family now" comments (this is just as wearing when you've heard it for the 1 billionth time!)

KnickKnack · 20/08/2009 15:38

love heir and a spare! never heard that one before

Whitetara · 21/08/2009 01:23

I remember telling my mother we were expecting another girl and her reply was that she hoped we weren't disappointed. I was fuming.

LongtimeinBrussels · 21/08/2009 01:42

When ds1 was 9 and ds2 6, I had a missed mc. People said completely inane things like "oh well, you already have two", as if to say it wasn't important that I'd lost one. Because the foetus hadn't miscarried, it was tested once removed and we found out it was a girl (had Turner's syndrome). Then suddenly people were much more sympathetic! So it was only sad because it was a dd?

hambler · 21/08/2009 02:16

och, they are just making conversation!
Congratulations !

glasgowtomelbourne · 21/08/2009 03:42

My next door neighbour commented when I was pregnant with DS:
"Of course, you don't die as much in childbirth these days"! WTF.
She is very quite batty!

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 21/08/2009 06:10

Congratulations

I have 2 boys, I've had all sorts of questions, normally from strangers when I was pregnant with DS2 and when they were younger.

They are 5 and nearly 7 now and every now and again I still get "will you be trying for a girl?" which drives me nuts.

And on a similar insensitive subject, when I was pregnant with DS2 after some bleeding very early on I had a scan and found out I was expecting twins. Cue a few weeks of shock and joy before our 12 week scan when we found out one of the babies had died.

Several members of our family said "at least you have another one". We were devastated, not least because we'd been told that they didn't know if DS2 would survive or whether I would miscarry him too DS2 did survive thankfully.

Just ignore them and enjoy your boys. I love having both boys, they are the best of friends

Overmydeadbody · 21/08/2009 06:57

Oh, how insensitive of those people.

Ignore the silly cows.

And congratulations.

Personally, I love boys and if I had another DC I would hope that it was a boy.

And it makes life easier with passing down clothes and toys and stuff.

racmac · 21/08/2009 07:17

I have 3 boys and am always asked if i will be trying for a girl.

When ds3 was born i had many many comments about being disappointed - Id look over at my son and say "disappointed about what?" as though i really had no idea what they were talking about! Some realised then what they were saying was stupid

Ellle · 21/08/2009 09:35

Exactly, when people tell you things about "I hope you are not disappointed because it's another boy/girl" just say: Why would I be? That's exactly what I wanted!
Then they look confused and don't know what else to say.

TheCrackFox · 21/08/2009 09:43

I've got 2 boys and it is fab. Still get asked if I want a girl. Like you can order babies from a catalogue.

Congratulations!

IsItMeOr · 21/08/2009 09:43

I am the youngest of four - 3 girls and a boy. Mum tells me people often assumed boy was her youngest, rather than 2nd born. Is clearly weird to some people that you can just love children, which is a shame!

PacificDogwood · 21/08/2009 09:43

Congratulations!!

Take no notice, people open their mouths before their brains are engaged .

An old lady in our village offer me her condolences on the safe arrival of our healthy DS3 , stupid cow!

I am of course now trying for a girl...

abra1d · 21/08/2009 09:45

Lucky you, having another lovely little baby boy. I have one of each and the boy is always loving and affectionate.

You're doubly blessed. Ignore the silly people.

missmapp · 21/08/2009 09:49

Congratulations, I have two boys and it is fantastic, I do get the 'dont you want to try for a girl ' comments, but I just shrug them off now

Original poster
littlemisslozza · 21/08/2009 12:06

Thanks for all your lovely messages and your congratulations! I know some people just don't think before they speak.

ANother one was when I was about 6 months pregnant and doing the weekly shop(including a pack of beer for DH), checkout woman said 'I didn't know you could drink when you're pregnant'. Pointed out that it was for DH... Is very true that you are public property when pregnant!!!!

Was also asked, by great granny, if I was disappointed that DS2 was a boy . Just said 'of course not' in amazement and she said nothing further. Think she may have been hoping for a girl...

OP posts:
Firawla · 21/08/2009 12:12

oh just ignore them they are probably thoughtless but not meaning to offend

i have ds1 & expecting ds2, got some of the same comments like oh dont u want a girl? i just say no im happy with it.
its nice two of the same close in age to play with each other, i think it prob works out for the best whatever you have. and it doesn't mean u can never have one of the other gender in the future so i dont get the big deal

babyignoramus · 21/08/2009 12:31

littlemisslozza - I bought some whiskey for a friend at Christmas when I was 7 months pregnant - and got ID'd!! What that must have looked like I dread to think!

NotEvenTheTrees · 21/08/2009 12:39

They don't say it to her face, but my family are constantly rattling on about SIL being pg with her 3rd dd. Every single time I challenge them on it and get the same 'every grandparent wants a grandson' crap. Equally galling as I have a dd myself. Just yesterday my dgm said 'well they're putting a brave face on the bad news'. WTF?