I find it mind boggling that the playdates are never reciprocated

[crazedupmom]

Hi
I do have quite a few playdates back at my house for my ds who is 8 and an only.
I know that I probably find this easier than most people as I only work part time, only have one child no other siblings to consider etc.
I even take my ds and his mates out and spend money on them fool that I am.
However my ds is never invited anywhere, never given a return invite at all.
I just find it mind boggling tbh as to how other parents can see you doing all of this and not offer a return ever.

We have had parents say that my ds can come to theirs but it never comes off and I do wonder if I should keep on inviting their children when they still haven,t carried out their promise to my ds.
Worse of all my ds has picked on all of this and is becoming a little resentful.
I just carry on inviting despite all of this as I figure that my ds needs to have friends here with him being an only.
Just wondering if we are the only ones like this.
I just don,t get it.
Am I doing the right thing to keep on inviting these parents dc's anyway or am I a mug.
Even those parnets with one dc like me are the same.
I am beginning ot think that there is something off putting about ds and I.

Crazedupmom- I was wondering if you know whether the families who are not reciprocating your invitation of their DCs invite other children to their houses to play? That may tell you whether their general circumstances are that they dont' have other children round, or whether you need to be a bit more upfront about suggesting your DS goes round to theirs occasionally.

For example, the mom you mention who asks you to pick her DS up from school occasionally - if that was me I'd probably ask her if she could pick DS up the following week. How friendly are you with the other children's parents?

I also have an 8 year old only DS. Of his main friends two of them are by far the youngest child in the family and because of this I think that they are very happy for Ds to play because the children look forward to it so much. DS's other best friend's family isn't able to ask DS over so much due to family circumstances but he's a lovely boy and I enjoy having him over so it doesn't bother me if I don't get the reciprocal 'free day', although I know DS likes to go to the other boy's house.

Cat 64 - you are obviously very generous with your hospitality and I do take your point about community - and I am genuinely interested in reading everyone's differing opinions on this thread. It's interesting and informative.

But I still happen to agree with the op. I honestly don't "count" or "keep score" but I would personally feel it impolite if I didn't reciprocate. And I guess, if I'm honest, that's why I'm slightly bewildered by people who don't.