Can someone please give me some stories of very close siblings who have more than a 2 year age gap?I need to know it will all work out

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Bonkers as it sounds.

Thing is, there was only 17 months between me and my brother and we have always been really close,were best mates as teeny kids...

When ds was 13 mo I got pg and was so happy as my kids would be close in age,ds would be 22mo when dc2 born,everything felt 'right' (not just based on my closeness with my brother,it just felt like everything fell into place iyswim)

However I had a mmc diagnosed at 12 week scan,was a total shock and to cut a long story short I lost that pg and for various reasons which are fairly shite have not been able to ttc since...tho think am up for it now!

So...at least a...umm...27 month gap (I think?) even if I got pg tomorrow...

Surely this whole 'right age gap' thing is bollocks anyway,doesn't it depend on the kids? (pleading emoticon)

Sorry for the self indulgent ramble x

There are 3.3 years between my two DSs and they get on really well. Didn't get off to the best of starts because DS1 ignored DS2 for the first year, until DS2 could walk and talk but since then there has been no stopping them. They seem to enjoy spending time together.

My friend has two DD who are almost exactly the same age as my two and hers are seemingly very close too.

I do agree though, that it depends on the children and that there is no 'right' age gap. DS2 came a full year after we originally thought we would have a second child. There are no guarantees anybody's children will be close whenever they are born but having a bigger than 2 yr gap doesn't mean that they won't be close.

Actually, my two cousins were 12 yrs apart and were very close when they were chilren. The LO doted on her big brother and vice versa.

There is 4 years between my DSis and myself and we only started talking to each other 18 months ago. Hated each other all out lives. my DBro and I have 12 years between us and we have always got on like a house on fire. Age is irrelevant. Personality is what its all about.

DS1 will be 16 tomorrow and loves both DS2 who is 12 and DD who is just six.
DS2 has SN so DS1s emotions towards his brother are quite protective but he is lovely with DD who is annoying and a girl

He walked her to school yesterday and it was very sweet watching this gallooping great six footer holding his little sisters hand.In return she hero sorships him but feigns off handed disinterest.

FWIW I never tolerated fighting when they were younger. If they were annoying each other they went to seperate rooms. I expected them to be courteous to each other too so they do please and thank you each other .
I hate the notion that being in a family makes rudeness acceptable as I think it becomes a habit.
My eldest sister and I are 8 years apart and i still adore her although I am in 40's and she in her 50s. My sister who is only a year older can't stand me and never could.
You can't plan these things tbh

Sorry - that is a bundle of random musings rather than an answer

There's 3.5 years between my 2 dds. They are very close. They share a room and ALWAYS play together. Of course they fight too but they always miss each other. DD2 misses dd1 terribly when she's at school

For example today DSD(16) has taken dd2 out. DSD says to her "You love coming out with your big sis don't you". DD2 says "Yes I love going out with my Katie"(dd1).

My two DDs have a lovely, loving relationship and there's a 4 year age gap.

3.7 years between my dds. I had initially wanted a smaller gap but due to a terrible first pg we delayed dc2.

They are incredibly close. From day 1, dd1 welcomed her little sister as a friend. Now that dd2 is a good walker (she isn't yet 2) I watch them pottering round the garden together with dolls' prams, making little teaparties etc. We have had no difficulties with jealousy. On occasion dd1 will try and pick her up etc which isn't always safe, but this is always in a very loving, affectionate way.

I think "traditionally" lots of women would start thinking about baby number 2 when dc1 was around a year old, hence the 2 year gap being seen as the "average".

Meant to add they share a room too (dd1's request rather than a need to share). Dd2 loves collecting dd1 from school. The other day she pushed past the other parents and got first in line (well ahead of me) and had to be lifted back down the line.

There was 3.5 years between my brother and me, and we adored each other. He was absolutely my favourite person in the world. We played together all the time, hung out, shared a room for years - it was brilliant.

My best friend and her sister are very close in age (think there's about 17 months between them) and they have a very knotty relationship. Although that does have a lot to do with personality.

36 months between mine and they are inseparable

It's the best gap

My DTs (6) are going to be 7 when surprise sprog 3 comes along, and I was panicking a bit. This thread has been most reassuring.

There are 4years 4 months between ds and dd.He found her a nuisance until she was about 3 then became very protective of her.As adults[39 and 34]they are very close emotionally though they live in different countries.

2 1/2 years between DS1 & DS2.

I was very happy that when DS2 was born DS1 was already a toddler who had his own interests and was a little bit independent! He was not at all jealous about his new brother - in fact I would say he ignored the baby for the first 6 months until DS2 became a bit more interesting.

If we go for a 3rd we'll wait to start TTC until DS2 is 3 and DS1 is 5 1/2.

I think it's down to personality of DC. I know a few siblings who are close in age and are competitive to the point that they argue constantly, and some with age gaps of >4 years who are extremely close.

There's 6 years between me and my sister - we're best friends and do loads together !

There's going to be 5.5 years between my DS and this current bump (DD) when it finally arrives - DS is very excited and I just know that because of his kind & caring nature that the two of them will get on fine !

My DSC have only 16 months between them and they're pretty vile to each other.

My BF two DSs have only 15 months between them and that is pretty awful too !

Both of those examples put me off having too close of an age gap !

I have a 7 1/2 year gap between DS (9) and DD (19mths). Everybody said they wouldnt bother with each other but they do. Hes very protective of her and she thinks hes great!
She loves nothing more then sitting in his bedroom with him and either watching tv with him (he puts big cook on for her) or playing with his toys. She even cries when he goes into school!

It has taken me three years to conceive successfully for a second time, during which time I've had one miscarriage, one missed miscarriage, six rounds of Clomid and a cycle of IVF which was, thankfully, successful. DS will therefore be just over 5 when our new baby arrives. This is certainly not what I'd planned - I too wanted the 2 year gap - but to be honest I really do think sibling relationships depend to a huge extent on the personality of the children as much as their age gap.

I know of two or three adult friends who have 6yr+ age gaps between them and siblings and they're as close as close can be. I also have other friends with that 'classic' 2 year gap and all they do is fight, bicker and compete with their siblings even in their thirties!

BUT there are some great advantages to larger age gaps - by which I am talking 3yrs+, 27 months is so near to 2 years to make the difference negligible IMO. I've lost count of the number of friends who had a larger than 3 year gap who've commented at how surprisingly easy they have found the whole challenge of parenting two children, how lovely the older sibling has been with the younger and just generally how much they have enjoyed the whole thing. Those who have the 2 year and under gap tend to be crawling round on their knees going 'F*ck this is hard'. And they don't even have the guarantee that their children will get on, because so much is down to personality, and there is certainly an argument to say that the closer the gap the greater the potential for competition between the children.

That said though - if I am absolutely honest - if I could go back 5 years and do it all over again, I think I would still hope for a 2-3 year gap. 3 I think seems ideal - close enough to be able to play together but not so close that you're tearing your hair out. My worries about a 5 year one is that the developmental gap in childhood will be so big that a limited amount of shared play is going to be possible. But that doesn't mean the siblings won't be close either in childhood or adulthood. And one thing I've learned is that life doesn't always work out as you'd hoped it would - quite frankly after three years of infertility, I'm just grateful to be pregnant at all!

Wow thanks for all the posts!first chance to look (haven't had a proper read yet,dp bathing ds and I have to go up in a sec) but you have all reassured me...and also made me feel like I'm not bonkers for thinking about it!

kids tunes did you actually read my op?thought I explained myself reasonably well.a lot of it is to do with dealing with the mc and a change in what I had thought was my future?

My sister is nine years older than me and we've never had even an argument - I love her to bits. there is hope!

7 years 8 months between me and my brother and we are great friends. Wasn't planned by my parents that way. They had given up hope of a second. I was lonely but we were an army family and always moving.

I'm planning a 3 year gap between 20 month dd and next one but I am 35 and don't want to leave it too much longer. Had some really negative comments from people about how this is the worst possible gap but I don't think there is a good or bad gap. Some siblings just don't get on that well.

I don't know if you are thinking about sibling relationships in childhood or adulthood, but just thought I'd add that my sister and I are very close indeed in spite of a 10 year age gap.

I wouldn't worry about it, it depends on the character of the DCs. I know identical twin girls and they loathe each other-fight all the time and have always been like that!

My DS1 and 2 are very close with 8yrs between-they get on much better than DS2 and 3 who have less than 2 years.

Well there is 20 months between me and my brother and we dont speak.........at all!
My sister is 10 years younger and we are very very close, we talk at least once every day and see each other as much as we can - she is very close to my DD's!
You never can tell!

My dds are very close,although they do squabble.There is a 28m gap between them.They are still small though so I don't know how it will pan out! (2 and 4)

Age gap means nothing. In my family: 18 months between me and older bro - crap relationship. 9 years between me and younger bro - v close.

Stop worrying about stuff that's not significant - enjoy life!

my 3 are 19,16.2.6 and get on really well