Preschool in september and still in nappies - what happens if there's no change by then?

[FenellaFudge]

DS is 3.2 and showing absolutely no signs of wnating to get out of nappies.
I am trying to maintain a balance between encouraging him and not turning it into an issue for him.
(Have also posted this in Preschool topic.)

I'm generally of the belief that he'll let me know when he's ready and that it's best to work with him rather than deciding the time myself and expecting him to fall in with it.
I'm now worrying about his preschhol placement for september. I assume he cant be in nappies when he goes? Or even if he can then he'd possibly be a bit of an oddity?
I dont want to postpone preschool, he's been with me since he was born and i think now is the time and he'd really get something out of it.
Anyone had any experience of this?
Is it at all feasible that a child can go from completely disinterested in toilet training to reliably in pants in th space of 3 months?

It is against the law to insist on continence by an arbitery age.
The school/nursery might not have the facilities for changing and therefore if he needs changed you will have to come in and collect him and then return him if time allows.
If it is the funded 2.5 hrs then he will not need changed anyway unless he poos.

(ds is 3 this month and not potty trained yet so I have looked into it!)

They are breaking Ofstead rules based on equal opportunities. My DS did a year at pre-school before he was trained and it was so good for him in so many ways, it would have been such a shame if he had missed out because he was in nappies. He trained over about 6 months all in from about 3.5 having made a sudden 80% leap in a few weeks early on and in fact had very few accidents at school even when he was still having them at home.

Anyway back to your DS - if you think that pre-school is the only place you want to send him then take up the whole ofstead thing with them (although I know that is really hard as I felt I was starting on the back foot and I didn't want to be seen as the awkward parent from the beginning). Otherwise look around and find somewhere that will take him in nappies.

Hope he suddenly "gets it" and solves the problem for you but if he is not ready then there is not much you can do

Nicky I am trying to find exactly that information, oooh where is it? OFSTED website?

back in a mo

BALD, I was hoping you would know - I cannot find it but will search on too.
I remember it from several other threads on the topic.

We need nannynick, I cannot find what i am looking for nicky

bah

agree with BALD and others about it contravening DDA to say a child must be continent to attend the pre-school. IME a late training child can definitely learn v quickly. with DS it clicked all at once, he went straight from nappies to toilet at 3.5 years (he had language delay).

Its really this school or nowhere. I'd happily have him with me for another year til reception, but this school is ideal in lots of ways, I think it would be good for him.

The head teacher stood up in front of us all and said it was mandatory for all children to be toilet trained.

It cant be for lack of facilities as he said that if a child had an accident then parent would be contacted to give permission for staff to change them.

I certainly see why they'd want the kids trained but its not on to lie like that, is it? Doesn't give a very favourable impression.

some info on the legalities here:-

Trying to find the relevant piece of legislation TC for ammo

I have searched the Directgov site.
WIll try searching old threads now, until nannynick shows up!

Fenella, truly that is against the law

We'll find you summat to give to the HT

good call nicky

Ah bless you all

Cheshire link not working for me, will have a root around too, if for nothing else to show them that its wrong to lie to people like that.

still rootling, go and have a cup of tea, we may be some time

Sadly the only link I can find so far goes to a deleted web page.

here is a link someone posted for me when I was in the miseries on this thread

that preschool had a meeting a few weeks later and clarified that that had to take DS and he did the full 2.5 hr sessions. A friend of mine is sending her DS for whole day sessions there in nappies now and they are not batting an eyelid

Have started a thread in desperation

Ah right - Just called DS dad who was there too, and he says the HM said that toilet training was mandatory unless there was a "medical reason".

So its one of those situations where they wont discriminate but if DS wasnt trained - no medical probs - then we'd have to go through the rigmarole of seeing a dr and possibly having some label attached to his un-trained-ness.

If thats the case, I'd rather not. I dont want to go down the route of medicalising him for something which imo is perfectly normal (in the sense that this is such an individul thing).

Well, I shall continue the way I am and if he's not trained then no pre=school.

Oh, thank you all.

But they are discriminating against him, against his stage of development

cornsilk and others here have ideas

fenella I've got a bee in my bonnet for you

Sorry if over kill

DS is 3.3, still in nappies & been at preschool nearly a year. He changed to a new one attached to a school & I asked the manager and she was very insistant that it was certainly allowed and it was discrimination if not.

Well done BALD and Netee.

Sorry I have been a bit useless.

Fecking interweb. Why can't it read my very thoughts!

I am becoming quite well informed on the DDA as a whole though.

I am also glad to see that I am not the only one with a bit of a 'thing' about educationa uthorities telling lies. Personally I find just saying the words '...against the DDA' tends to shut people up! However, it would be handy to have the exact reference for back up.

Hmm, now I'm not sure what to think?
What are they up to?
Obviously it's discriminatory in the case of a child with medical issue, but what happens when there isnt one?