I am at my WITS' END with regard to my kids running away on/beside busy roads.

[MadamAnt]

They are 4 and 2.9. DD (4) has always had a slight tendency to run too far ahead, but the behaviour has really escalated over the last couple of months. Now DS copies her, except he usually runs off in a different direction, leaving me yelling like a fishwife at them both and chasing them like a headless chicken.

They are definitely doing it on purpose to wind me up, and it works. I honestly don't know how to deal with it anymore. We live in a city and our school walk is along some busy roads...my nerves are shredded!

I've tried explaining to them ad nauseam why it's dangerous, I've tried praising them when they walk close to me / ride nicely on the buggy, and I've tried the aforementioned fishwife impressions. On two particularly bad occasions I've resorted to hand-smacking, which has made me feel like shit, and seems to have had no lasting effect (other than DS threatening to smack other people's hands ).

I don't see other parents having this problem so why the fuck am I so entrenched in this awful situation??

It's particularly bad if we're walking with other people...what does that mean? I think DD is showing off, perhaps??

Really desperate for advice.

honestly, i was so tempted

dd1's real issue (due to ASD) was not stopping/waitng at roads, she was usually quite safe being a few paces ahead - she didn't really want to go tearing off, so i htought tha tmaybe having her on an extendable lead would eb nice for her - give her space, but me he ability to stop her and "reel" her in when we came to roads to cross, etc.

But i thought I'd be judged hugely for it, and couldn't bring myself to do it!

Perhaps I need to take it upon myself to break the extendable lead taboo!

Oh this has got me PMSL! LMAO at the extendable lead and misshardbrooms 'smug' bit

Can totally relate to the latter as I too was Mrs Smug with my DD, always walked beautifully blah blah blah but then I had the boy......arrrrgh!!

He is 4 TOMORROW...I STILL screamlike a fishwife most days at him not to scoot too far off but he does it anyway. He too has a tiny bit of ASD but luckily DOES stop at every road and knows not to go anywhere near one without me. It does my head in that he just 'can't' stay near me, has to scooter to the bottom of the road and wait, not just scoot a little bit off iykwim...

I would definately go with the wriststrap or exptendable lead (LOVE THAT ONE PMSL!!) I would have thought it was a great idea! Patent it, you would make a fortune I reckon

I am taking a great deal of comfort that I am not the only fishwife in the mornings

Went out with them both in reins today and it was sooooo much more relaxing. DD was a bit disgruntled but seemed to "get" the fact that it was to stop her from getting into danger.

Phew.

glad you had a better journey with them.

life's too short to be stressed about everyhting

Glad it went well, ds1 was like a trained dog and stopped when he should, and I did the whole smug bit

He still is amazing but ds2 is a nightmare, we are at walking next to pram stage but if he messes around he gets pinned in goes straight back in.

He gets his stubborness from me but I am more determined to win than he is. Tis a battle of wills but mentally I see myself rewarding my no shouty behaviour with a nice bar of chocolate. Helps me through

never mind "symptom" and "cause"

they are toddlers/tiny kids

keeping them safe is your priority and if you have to restrain them, so be it

you did the right thing

I used reins with both mine

I have been spotted dragging one of them along the floor on his bum in the supermarket, attached to his reins

sometimes you get a judgemental look, from the lentil-weaving brigade, "ohhh, you are compromising his freeeeedom..."

yeah, ok, his "freedom" to run under the wheels of a bus

old ladies usually give you approving looks though

This all sounds familiar - I have two security strap things on the buggy that the eldest two hold onto. It took some training but in the end they preferred to hold onto that than to have me grip their wrists and drag them along the pavement...with them shouting 'you are hurting me mummy'. Onlookers reactions were mixed, but at least the mummy bit reassured them that, in spite of what it looked like, I was not abducting children.
Also when they were much smaller every walk was an endless 'hand or buggy' conversation bore....
I heard myself saying this to DC3 today and had sudden flashback to those days...and went faint at the thought of having to do it all again...
fishwife, c'est moi! Esp when I lived in Scandinavia and that was not the done thing!