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Parenting

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feel terrible that i wish dd could move out at 16

56 replies

silvercloud · 01/06/2009 23:25

feel very sad that dd is so rude and nasty at home.she never apologises and tbh I feel as if i've had enough.She talks about moving out so she can do everything she wants and I usually feel hurt but now,as her attitude is even worse I wonder if it would be the best thing as I've had enough of it all.
If she doesn't get her own way she swears at me and is really horrible,blaming everything on me and horrendously rude to me in front of friends.
I remember being 15 and I do feel she's choosing to behave like this simply because she can,to make life difficult for us and just for the hell of it really.
I've got no intention of asking her to leave atm but just almost need to get it out how fed up with it all I am and how powerless to change and how these days noone ever says its horrendous behaviour on her part,it must be the parents fault.
She wants to be as difficult as possible while having the moral high ground by virtue of her age and its very soul destroying.
I am really disappointed by the way she conducts herself and behaves towards us.
I'm a fairly quiet person and was a well behaved teenager ,never swear etc and just hate having to listen to f**ing and blinding directed at us.
Please flame me if you will,tell me you've been there or give me hope and strength as I feel a gulf between us now that I keep trying to fill with outings etc but if this carries on I think our relationship will never really be the same again ~ I'll always love her and be her mum but our actual relationship is nearly ruined.
Does anyone have experience of teens moving out ~I don't think it would be wise as I want to keep her on the straight and narrow but just putting it down is helping with the frustration of it all.

OP posts:
peanutbrittle · 03/06/2009 20:39

aaah, the poor thing. I remember I was quite good (well, sort of excllent really) at academic stuff and the pressure i felt under (most probably from myself - being a perfectionist at the time - had to work hard in eradicating that streak - booze and drugs certainly played a part in blotting it out though) was so horrendous I just flaked.. Stopped trying totally. Still did well in my final school exams but not brilliantly. Still went to uni but just got a mediocre degree. It was all a bit of a mess. I really feel for her. I think it is shit to have such pressure on kids (cos that's what they still are) at this stage of growing up.

Hope she let you give her a cuddle. Hope she didn't take it all out on you.

silvercloud · 03/06/2009 21:57

yes its odd she used to enjoy doing a bit of revision and is not really a perfectionist just a good all rounder but this year she has done none ~ and its GCSEs unfortunately.

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 03/06/2009 22:49

silvercloud - it won't be the end of the world if the gcses don't work out - she can re-sit. As the parent of a dc who had the drug problems, dropped out of school etc I can tell you that there are many more opportunities these days for kids to re-sit, go to college, go to evening classes. It can be done.

Ds did some awful jobs, then got himself back to college, and is now at Uni. It just took a while for him to work through it all.

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silvercloud · 03/06/2009 23:29

This reply has been deleted

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silvercloud · 04/06/2009 23:24

hi all who posted,I deleted two posts for fear DD could be identified.
She felt unwell in school and got panicky but she got back in today and she seems better.
I was quite touched that she asked me for help to talk it through etc and I felt quite sad for her today, but I do think she'll come through this over the next few months.

OP posts:
Eliza72 · 11/05/2020 14:02

@silvercloud
It's been 11 years since the last post. I've no idea if this post will even reach you! I've been reading about teens and came across this post and was drawn in by it.
Was there a happy ending? Did your DD make you proud? x

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