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Original poster

Naked children

235 replies

nappyaddict · 01/06/2009 12:57

Which of these places do you let your children run around naked?

  1. Public paddling pool
  2. Outdoor swimming pool
  3. Whilst using the play equipment at the park
  4. Beer garden
  5. Your street
OP posts:
Original poster
nappyaddict · 01/06/2009 14:01

Can't remember who asked but my answers would be

Yes to 1&2

Unsure about 3-5 which is why I started the thread.

Greensleeves you would let yours play out in the street naked then if you didn't live on a busy road?

What about if they wanted to be naked whilst you walked from A to B?

What if you had to go into some shops on the way?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 01/06/2009 14:03

Greeny, you have a point. It's sad the way we can no longer celebrate our childrens bodies, that we hide them away as if they are something to be ashamed of, and of course our children then react as if their bodies are something to be ashamed of.

However, I have to say that I would not be comfortable were my children naked in public. In our own homes it's fine, or even other peoples houses at a kid's party for example.

I suppose you could look at it the same way for adults - why shouldn't we be allowed to walk around starkers? Why is it a public decency offence? I'm afraid that the sight of naked flesh does stir emotions in many people the way a fully clothed body does not. And it's also about appropriateness, sooner or later our children have to learn that there is a time and a place for everything. Whereas it might be fine to strip off at home, it's not ok to do it in the middle of the High Street, etc.

KingCanuteIAm · 01/06/2009 14:03

I don't think it is a matter of respect and yes you do run that risk whatever GS but I do not have to fuel that need with my child. As for it not hurting anyone, well, a guy sat in the corner of a nightclub jerking off at the sight of underdressed teens is not "hurting" anyone, I would still expect it to be stopped.

If someone wants to find a child they will, I am just making sure it is not my child. you may think it is ott but as you have not been in that position yourself or with your dc I am not sure you can really make that call.

meemar · 01/06/2009 14:04

So greensleeves, so you find it ridiculous that children are expected to wear clothes to school?

Where do you draw the line? Of course there are some places that are more appropriate for nakedness than others!

Itsjustafleshwound · 01/06/2009 14:04

It's to do with appropriateness - like wearing white to a wedding - you can, but it is bad form... or asking people why they are fat ... funny when it comes from a 5 yo, but not so funny from a DH ...

Greensleeves · 01/06/2009 14:05

I think it should be self-evident though that a child's body doesn't push the same psychological buttons for onlookers as an adult's. I wouldn't be shocked to see a little child frolicking about with nothing on in the park or playing out in front of their houses or whatever. I think it's another example of childhood, as distinct from adulthood, being eroded, and it's sad.

OrmIrian · 01/06/2009 14:07

greeny - I agree with you. There is nothing wrong with childhood nakedness. But now mine are older I would feel more uncomfortable. Something which surprises me. I think it's because I know they would be. It is the unselfconsciousness of children that protects them I think.

Rhubarb · 01/06/2009 14:09

Yes it is eroded and yes it is sad. We are a paranoid nation. But what worries me is that when Madeleine McCann went missing, and for a while, Shannon Matthews, the number of paedophiles the police questioned in their areas was huge.

It's a sick person who can find the sight of a child's naked body a turn on, but unfortunately these sick people exist. And whilst I agree with you that children are fast losing their innocence, neither do I want it to be my child that some pervert is jacking off to.

Greensleeves · 01/06/2009 14:09

Canute you shouldn't make assumptions about other people's experiences on here, it rarely comes off well. I do have experience of the kind you describe as it happens - I choose not to allow myself to infect my children with pointless paranoia, as it happens. I really don't think a child is more likely to be targeted by an abuser because they run around with nothing on when it's hot.

Greensleeves · 01/06/2009 14:10

"as it happens" twice in one sentence

Original poster
nappyaddict · 01/06/2009 14:12
OP posts:
Greensleeves · 01/06/2009 14:14

nappy I have answered your questions! Yes I would let them play out naked at a friend's, if the adults and other children were happy enough

I would probably not let them come out to the shops with me unclothed, because I wouldn't want to carry their clothes, and it might get cold/start raining/we might be out long enough that the sun exposure got too much. If we were in the park though, and nipped to the corner shop for an ice lolly, I might let them come along nude - why the hell not?

I still haven't seen anything convincing against it.

Housemum · 01/06/2009 14:15

Greensleeves - I agree to some extent. Children are targeted because they are easy - ie the parents aren't watching them, clothed or not. But I still think that running around with no clothes on is something more for beaches/pools/gardens than in general play parks/street. It's a compromise and a way of learning that there are certain accepted behaviours that we do have to conform to - nothing wrong with nudity, but not everywhere. Nothing to do with abusers (though that is everyone's paranoid fear as soon as you mention nudity on MN!)

pooka · 01/06/2009 14:15

I was thinking about this issue when we were on holiday recently, with dd (nearly 6) and ds (3). On the beach. Just for a potter. Sun came out, rock pools and sand pools v. inviting. Ditto splashy waves.

DD stripped off, and was happy to. Ds also. I wondered for a moment whether was BAD. But then told myself to get a grip - and they had enormous fun frolicking and dry clothes to get into afterwards for the walk back to the house. Have to admit that part of my reticence was because dh and I were wearing layers and jumpers - it being a typical british beach and all. But the children seem to have in built furnaces that make them impervious to 12 degree sea water and a brisk wind!

Public paddling pool - assuming both reliably potty trained = fine.
Ditto outdoor swimming pool if allowed by the operators.
Not in street (not fully nekkid).
Not in pub garden.
Not in playground probably.

The nots being related mostly to there not being the need and the possible busyness of the location.

Greensleeves · 01/06/2009 14:16

oh, sorry - if we lived in an area where it was safe for them to play out, I would let them run about naked if it was warm enough. But they wouldn't be allowed out of my sight at their ages (6 and 4) clothed or not.

seeker · 01/06/2009 14:16

I refuse to allow my children to have their lives restricted because there are bad people in the world. There have ALWAYS been exactly the same number of bad people in the world - our children are as safe as they ever were. What has changed is our level of paranoia.

Greensleeves · 01/06/2009 14:17

I do feel that if social mores cannot be logically justified then they should be discarded. I'm not going to restrict my children's behaviour if I can't see a reason for it, other than a load of woolly sheep nonsense about "appropriateness"

Rhubarb · 01/06/2009 14:19

Actually this reminds me, we visited Malmesbury yesterday and were walking past the Abbey Gardens when I did a second-take. There, stood in the gardens and in full view of the road we were walking on, stood a naked man with just a hat on. I took a closer look, just in case he had flesh coloured shorts on you know, and I suddenly got a glimpse of this bottom disappearing into the bushes opposite the first naked man! I look at dh who had obviously seen what I had see, then at both kids who had their mouths open just at the point of asking 1001 questions.

It turns out it was an 'Optional Clothes Day' in the Abbey Gardens. Lots of middle aged and older, couples and groups marching in and out. Presumably they had somewhere you could change. But some of the gardens are fully viewable by the road and it was obvious that most of them had opted for no clothes!

Fair enough I suppose, but if you weren't expecting to see a naked man on a Sunday afternoon, it gave you a bit of a shock!

Original poster
nappyaddict · 01/06/2009 14:19

Greeny but what if they weren't playing out, what if one day they didn't want to get dressed but you had to walk somewhere with the purpose of getting from your house to somewhere else.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 01/06/2009 14:21

It's never happened quite like that, it's always been a sort of joyful stripping off and gambolling in the sunshine thing

but it would depend on the weather, and where we were going. There are lots of scenarios in which I would say no, for practical reasons, and a few in which I would say yes because there would be no reason not to.

HouseisJackBauersDoctor · 01/06/2009 14:21

I don't think any unless the paddling pool was in a private garden, ie someone else's house.
Mainly as in public places you cannot guarantee how clean it is when they sit, whereas in my friends gardens I have a little more idea of the safety. Also DD2 is still in nappies and cannot be trusted not to wee everywhere, again, at a friends it would be ok, but maybe not go down well in a public pool!
Just the thought of being naked in a playground is making me wince!

We just came back from Tunisia where there were a lot of naked kids in the pool but the rule was that they had to wear nappies unless they were potty trained.

I woudl be very worried about sunburn though as both of mine are very fair so I think it is unlikely I would let them for long, even with suncream.

KingCanuteIAm · 01/06/2009 14:23

Lol Greenslelves, you are absolutly correct and I appologise, you would have thought I would have learnt that by now!

I don't allow our experiences to "infect" my children though. I just choose not to allow them to strip off outside the house (not that they have ever wanted to since mind you).

titchy · 01/06/2009 14:24

Assuming you mean toddlers then something to contain wee would be needed!

I wouldn't be too bothered about the nude issue, except perhaps for 4 and 5 - but there would be noo need to remove clothes in a pub or the stree would there? Actually why would you rremover a toddler's clothes in the park?

Original poster
nappyaddict · 01/06/2009 14:25

So in that situation would you say yes or no if it was a hot sunny day like today ajd you were going to the park or the the shops or on the school run?

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 01/06/2009 14:25

If you are offended by the sight of a naked child, that is your problem. Get the fuck over yourself. Or stay indoors with a blindfold on - people who whine that they are not being shown 'respect' immediately forfeit the right to it anyway and should be laughed at and mooned at till they get some sense.