Please can you help. I really cant cope anymore :(

[inneedofhelpplease]

I have changed my name because of the subject, but please can someone help.
I am at the end of my tether and just cant cope anymore. Ds1 has adhd and can be extremely violent. He has most recently tried to stab me, alsmost broke my wrist, is constantly punching/kicking me and on saturday he tried to strangle me and yet again today he has repeatedly punched me over the head. (sorry that was a big ramble) We have doctors who give him medication and we are involved with a local volunteer group who are offering us yet another parenting progam but i've just had enough. He's 8 now and getting much stronger. My younger 2 are frightened of him and all i keep thinking is how much easier it would be if he lived elsewhere (that sounds awful i know) I'm half tempted to get in touch with social servises but am afraid of what this would entail. We're not involved with these as they seem to think we're doing fine no matter how much i tell them i cant cope I just dont know what to do. I feel like i've been hit too many times
Please help. Just a chat would be great thanks

So sorry for what you are all going through, I would suggest posting this in the SN topic I'm sure you will get good advice there.

Thankyou TPT I'm almost in tears but the only reason i'm not is cause dc's are all about. He's calmed down at the mo. My head hurts though

Same as PT. No wisdom but don't want to ignore.

I expect you've expored all avenues (GP/ HV/ Surestart..) Does anybody do respite care for people in your situation?

I have put a link to this thread into the Special Needs topic - I hope you don't think I am overstepping the mark but I think you will get more experienced help from there.

It sounds dreadful and I really feel for you.

We have been down almost all routes except ss. We've not been offered any respite and i have tried to find some info on this but unfortunatly no luck so far. As fas as i'm aware we'l need to be involved with ss so it looks like this is the answer i suppose. It just seems all to scarey once they're involved

Thankyou buda. No you've not ob=verstepped the mark at all. I'm grateful for the help. Ans TPT thanks for the link. I'll have a look through that right now

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time with your DS, it must be scary and draining dealing with this sort of aggression. I don't have any great ideas as to what can happen now to help - it should be possible to arrange respite via SS but obviously that can be easier said than done, and it should be possible to get some sort of urgent appointment with psychologist/paed give n recent difficulties you are having with him, but again that's not a suggestion that's going to help you here and now is it...

not sure if you are aware of direct payments:-
www.cambridgeshire.gov.uk/social/accessing/schascadirectpay.htm

where SS give you the money to pay for care.

Thankyou for all your replys. These links are fantastic. I'd never heard of direct payments, i'll look into this in my local area. I think it really is time to bite the bullet and ask is doctors for a social worker. All we see is a doctor and she's probably not the most helpfull one at that. Whenever i've suggested we need more help she's just said ask his granparents. Both mine and dh's parents live 4hrs away at opposite ends of the country

I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I have not the right experience to help but I suspect you may need to ring ss to request the allocation of a sw ( from the disability team or similar wording) and to assess you and your childrens care needs ( this is what I have been told to do).
Is your son already seen by CAMHS (sometimes called child and family team)? If so perhaps an urgent revue is in order. If not an urgent referral perhaps from the doctor who prescribes his medication.
Is he hurting you because he is frustrated/impulsive or cannot control his anger, because he is very unhappy and taking it out on the one person he trusts or because he does not understand he is going to hurt you ( and is sorry and sad once he has caused hurt)? I ask because it may affect how you manage things.

I'm in the sheffield area. I would be greatful thanks. I'm still looking through other links too
It really is an important time to sort this out. My dc2 is 6 and is affraid but thankfuly not copying anmy behavior. My dc3 is trying to copy a bit and this could be a problem although when outbusts occur he often says "no X dont hurt mummy" How awful to hear that come from a 2yr olds mouth

Do you have a partner about to help?
And is his school supportive?

magso i think he hurts me out of frustration. I'm all thats there to 'let it out' on. We are with the local CAMHS team. They're the ones who aren't much help because we are a stable family who should be able to cope. I know its awful and i'm not judging anyone, but if i was single and lived in social housing i'd have had help straight away. (that is in no way meant to discriminate anyone btw. It was his last revue (last month i asked for help. even showed the wrist and bruises and scrtatches. Thats when she said ask your family for help

his school are very supportive. they are the ones reffering me to the local volunteer group

that's a disgrace, i'm so sorry, what a shite response. i have nothing useful to say but am sending you a of support.

Try Addiss www.addiss.co.uk/supportgroupnews.htm
I am a member of my local ADHD/ASD support group ( my son has autism, ADHD and SLD but in the early days the autism was missed as is not uncommon - so their support was really valuable) and they organise all sorts of things training for parents (targetted to specific difficulties like managing anger) and activities for children and courses like the 'Why Try' series aimed at harnessing all that energy before the child gets demotivated by all that is difficult.

Thankyou for the squeeze. I'm accepting it very gratfully (could be done with it right now). TPT the carers.org link is fantastic. Looks like i could get some fantastic info from them too. I'm so grateful to everyone for all your responses. I'm starting to feel like there is some help out there. I'm just going to have to stamp my feet and shout very loudly instead of saying nothing

I used to be a LSA for a boy with ADHD, 3 or 4 days a week he went to respite foster parents which gave his mother a break from his behaviour. This was organised by our local SS.