If you've been a SAHM, when did you send your DC to nursery/playgroup and why?

[alittleteapot]

dd is nearly two and has a sibling on the way. I am a stay at home mum with occasional bits and bobs of freelance work which i manage by friends having dd for the odd half day.

I feel I need some regular childcare now - esp with new baby on the way. I've been round the houses in my mind with what would be right - childminder/nursery etc and have come round to the thought that nursery would be good. I think she'd love it. But I'd only want her to do half days I think. I know loads of babies do full days from much younger. Just don't feel it's for us, but can't quite say why.

But, most nurseries won't do half days.... so my dilemma continues.

Just wondered what others had done and what dilemmas they'd faced and how they came to decisions.

DS1 went to a local preschool 4 mornings a week 9.15-11.45am from age 2.5yrs.
Was lovely, as had DS2 to myself and DS1 loved preschool.

my dd is nearly 2 and im a sahm, ive just been offered a playgroup place for her from sept, you pay to leave them a couple of hours each morning at the nursery.
tbh i have said no as i dont need childcare but i can see it could be useful.

DS1 - 3 years
dd - 2 1/2 years
DS2 - 3 years.

the boys started at playschool for 2 mornings a week and with DS1 I gradually added a day until he was doing 5 when he left. DS2 is only doing 4 until he left.

DD did a mix of playschool and then a nursery as PS didn't suit her.

I did it so they would have children to play with as I have no local friends, and also to get them used to being away from me.

Rising 3 (term prior o 3rd birthday) - because I wanted a break and felt it was the best thing for him to have regular social contact with other kids, play based learning and some structure. To be honest, I don't think it really did him any good. He didn't enjoy the structure and it was hard for him to conform at such a young age. However, I saw other kids thrive in that environment.

Thanks, interesting, most of you waited till 2 1/2 or 3. I'm not sure whether to wait till after new baby arrives or to get her in somewhere now so it's already part of her life. If I could get her in somewhere just a couple of mornings a week I think I'd go for it - I think she'd love it. I jsut don't feel comfortable leaving her for longer, but I find myself feeling like that must make me a bit precious as so many mums have no choice. Obviously fees also a factor but I would get a bit more work done if she was in regular childcare. I do sometimes feel I would like some time to do all my rubbish jobs when she's not around. Getting in a pickle about it all but htat's prob just preg hormones...

I've just started my DS in a school nursery this term (he is 3.2) for 3 days a week. He loves it, it's really helping his speech and they do fun stuff. He really enjoys it and I think it is great for him overall. I wouldn't have sent him before 3, but that was mainly because he speech was behind and I did not want him to be totally bewildered - I wanted him to understand roughly what was happening and for him to be OK with it. (I'm still at home with 14m DD).

2.5 as thats the earliest the pre school (3 hr session)would take ds.

Had a newborn so TBH it was to have a bit of a break as well as ds enjoying it.

He did 2x a week until he was 3.5 then went to 5x a week till school

DD started at 2.5 as well and had the last term going with her brother which she loved.

Just wanted to ask have you considered a playgroup? They tend to be half-days only, a set number of times a week (3 x 2 and half hours in morning?) so the environment your child would be in would have some similarities to a nursery without the obligation to do full days.

I'm a SAHM and my DC1 started playgroup the month before my DC2 was due. It worked out fantastically for us as DC1 loves it and I found it a huge, huge help once DC2 was born.

Our playgroup was a five minute walk which was also really great in those early new baby days.

sagacious, did yoru ds start before or after the new baby? I don't want her to feel pushed out. She'll be 2.5 in Dec and there's one really nice mornings only nursery she's on teh waiting list for. Baby is due Oct though so she'd start Jan - can't work out if better to have something in place earlier.

DS started attending Feb this year, at 2.6, 1 morning (3 hour) a week. It is at the end of May increasing to 2 mornings a week. We did it to give him children to play with as I dont really have local friends, and for him to gain some confidence and independence. And for him to start experiencing life outside the home. With all the dynamics of social interaction. It was really important for DS as he was (is) being evaluated for SN and I have to say he has really blossomed since going to school. Not that I think his issues were because he was at home with me I do worry other people think that. But I still think school has helped him tremendously. There is just no way I could provide the diversity of activities for him on my own, and he loves them!

We arent having any more children and we didnt "have" to do it for any reason... just, it makes us all happy. And I love my little mid-week break and cant wait to collect him and hear all about it! Its so exciting. I am really proud of him.

DS was 2.8. Felt I needed some space, he needed some independence, and I got pg just as he started so it's been a lifesaver as I can catch up on Phil and Fern housework.

ovenchips, that sounds exactly the sort of thing I'm after. but i can't seem to find out about playgroups. where do you live and how did you track them down?

My DS1 started doing two half days a week at 18 months as I was expecting twins and wanted him happy and established at nursery before they arrived (4 months later). After about 3 months I increased it to three mornings a week and then changed it to two full days. He has always been really happy (bar the odd one-off occasion).

Twins started at nursery at three months doing just one day a week (on same day as DS1) so I could retain my sanity and try to clean my house etc!

I was really nervous before DS1 started, esp as we had moved house and area 2 weeks before he started there so had not really had a chance to check it out other than when we looked round, but I think he has gained a lot from going (has lots of lovely little friends now!).

I think if I had sent him after the babies were born he would have possibly felt more pushed out, whereas he was already settled by the time they arrived.

Worth considering that many nurseries will not take childen younger than 2.5/3yrs, so that will be a factor in why many are sent from that age. My DCs go to a day nursery (ie private one) as they will take them from a young age (mainly used by working parents).

DD1 went to a private nursery at 18 months as I had discoverd that I was pregnant (and I am a hideous pregnany woman) and I wanted to get her settled in nursery prior to the new baby arriving (born when DD1 was 24 months)

Initially I just wanted her to do 1 day a week, but the nursery manager suggested that 2 mornings might be a better idea in terms of her settling well, as there isn't so long between each visit. IYSWIM?

At that age it took her about 3 weeks to stop being a little clingy when she was dropped off (she was always reported to be fine once I'd left)

Once DD2 was born I increased her to 3 mornings a week mainly because she loves it so much.

They can start playgroup from two and a half for two or three hours a day.
I think this is the best com[promise- straight in at full days seeems a bit much for this age group

My current problem is that there's one nursery i like that will take her two days 9.30-3.30 (if she gets in) from 2 years old. The other one I really like (if she gets in) she can do 9.30 - 12.30 or 1.30 but can't start in till 2.5. She'll be 2 and 4 montsh when new baby arrives and i do think better if she's settled somewhere before that.

guess i'll just keep looking - you've kind of confirmed my instincts though that two or three mornings starting before the baby's born would be the perfect solution.

Interesting none of you went for childminder option. on balance i feel nursery can offer stimulation and a chance to play with other children to a scale i could never offer, whereas a childminder is more like a mother substitute.

DS (4 yrs old) has been doing 5 mornings a week at nursery (9am-11.30am) since he was 2 yrs old. He loves it, I loved having the break whehn it was just us, and now I have a second child, it gives me 'baby time'. I'd be equally happy with a couple of full days a week instead, to be honest, but that's not on offer around here.

mrs mattie would you have been happy with two full days at 2? can see it would be fine at 4.

DD has been going to a childminder for two mornings a week for a while now - she's 2.6 now.

I'm also freelance, but did this before I had any work, partly because we have no family to help and I was going insane, and partly because I wanted her to be used to other people and not be the slightly nerdy only child of older parents (!).

But I think a lot of what you choose depends on temperament - DD would have hated a nursery and been very intimidated, but we have a lovely gentle childminder with a few other children her age and she has a brilliant time.

Click on this, attempts to insert link schoolsfinder.direct.gov.uk/ scroll down to the childcare and nurseries bit, put the name of your town in, then on the next page select pre-school playgroups et voila it should give you details of the ones in your area.

The age playgroups take children from seems to vary but mine takes them from two years.

DD is starting "pre school playgroup" in september, she will be just two. My baby is due in July and I suspect I'll need a break! She is down for two mornings a week which is 9-12, hopefully she'll setlle in. Cost is £10 per session.

Found out about them from the Council website - they have a list of nurseries playgroups etc and when they run and contact details, imagine most councils provide this?

I sent mine twice a week from age 15 months. I was also doing some (very occasional) free lance work and I wanted the dc to learn English gradually (we spoke Italian at home). Plus I didn't have any help and desperately needed some time for myself.
Last, but not least in Italy there is no such controversy about sending little ones to nursery and I couldn't see anything wrong for my children to go.

Sorry I realize my post isn't clear. We were living in the UK when the dc were younger, so they went to nursery there.
I wasn't aware of the Anglo Saxon controversy around nurseries, as I said, in Italy we are quite fond of ours.

dd1 - started nursery age 6 months when I went back to work. When she turned 1 I gave up work, but kept her in nursery though I did reduce her hours significantly.

dd2 then went to the same nursery from age 1. They went largely because we don't have family support nearby and this was the only way I could/do get child free time.

I've never had a problem securing half days. I looked at both childminders and nurseries but the local cm's couldn't take dd1 when I needed them to as she was so young. I was also concerned that if the cm was ill I would be stuck for childcare whereas a nursery doesn't have the same kind of problem.

I wasn't aware back then...