Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

If you've been a SAHM, when did you send your DC to nursery/playgroup and why?

45 replies

alittleteapot · 14/05/2009 13:43

dd is nearly two and has a sibling on the way. I am a stay at home mum with occasional bits and bobs of freelance work which i manage by friends having dd for the odd half day.

I feel I need some regular childcare now - esp with new baby on the way. I've been round the houses in my mind with what would be right - childminder/nursery etc and have come round to the thought that nursery would be good. I think she'd love it. But I'd only want her to do half days I think. I know loads of babies do full days from much younger. Just don't feel it's for us, but can't quite say why.

But, most nurseries won't do half days.... so my dilemma continues.

Just wondered what others had done and what dilemmas they'd faced and how they came to decisions.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jux · 14/05/2009 14:44

dd (only). I went back to work p/t at 6wks - financial necessity.

Stopped work when she was just over 2, due to illness (mine). Sent her to nursery at 2 1/2, partly due to my illness and partly so she could spend time with other children.

andiem · 14/05/2009 14:46

my ds2 goes to nursery for 2 mornings a week he was 14 months when he started going and it was to give me some time to myself to keep me sane

ohdearwhatamess · 14/05/2009 14:52

Ds1 started at pre-school at 2.9 years, 2 mornings a week. He'll do 4 mornings from September, although could do 5 if we wanted.

He desperately wanted to do things with other children, and I thought it would be a great way for him to make lots of local friends (it is linked to a small village school). He absolutely adores it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

sagacious · 14/05/2009 14:56

ALITTLETEAPOT : DD was 4 months old when DS started nursery. He didn't seem to feel pushed out (mainly as luckily DD was a very placid baby and virtually slept for the 1st month !)

claireybee · 14/05/2009 15:12

I am a SAHM with dd 2.11 and ds 1.5. Both dc are full time with me at home.

In some ways I do think dd would benefit from some time at playschool/nursery but I also think there is plenty of time for that later on. She will be starting preschool in September when she gets her free place-the main reason she isn't going now is that we can't afford both to pay for her to go and for me to be a SAHM.

We do go to different toddler groups though so that she interacts with other children of a similar age.

I'm actually dreading her going tbh, ds is very high needs and she helps me keep him occupied-he's a nightmare if she ever goes to play somewhere without him.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 14/05/2009 15:25

If possible for you, I would start DC1 before the arrival of DC2 to minimise any feelings of being pushed out. It will also be easier for you if there are any settling issues to do this before DC2 arrives.

I sent DS to a local pre-school a couple of mornings a week from 2.5, he enjoyed it.

EHM · 14/05/2009 15:40

started my dd at preschool when she turned 2, 2 afternoons per week I stayed with her initially. As we have no family close by & very little support network. She found the separation very difficult so did i. After the summer holidays last year I left her 2 mornings a week, we both found it difficult. She now loves going, and quite often says she wants to stay all day. (she doesn't) IT was very important for me to have dd socialising well with other kids/adults, without me being around. IT also gives me a few hours to do my things if I need too. I generally do house related things, and then spend the afternoon with dd.
It works very well for both of us. I didn't think I would do this when I first had dd & felt very quilty at first.

TheApprentice · 14/05/2009 15:47

Your health visitor should be able to tell you about local playgroups. My ds, aged 2.4 has just started playgroup just 2 mornings a week. He loves it! To be honest its a very basic playgroup - just 2 kind ladies and a hall with some toys and sometimes a craft activity (they all have snack and songs together too). But thats all he needs at his age imo. He goes partly to socialise and get some space away from me!! Also it gives me a little time with just ds2 (like you I am mainly a SAHM but also do a bit of supply teaching). He is a very sociable child so it suits him, but I know of some children who just havent been ready at this age.

Peachy · 14/05/2009 15:53

DS4 will be starting at CM's two hal;f days a week from September, primarily as I need to do a bit of cvoluntary to get myy CV in order, a year after he will go full time. Same pattern more or less with ds3, I was a WOHM with ds1 / ds2

arabicabean · 14/05/2009 19:04

I will be sending my little boy to pre-prep when he is 3 years old and will not be considering nursery. I am also a SAHM.

BonsoirAnna · 14/05/2009 19:07

I was a SAHM when DD was little (I only work very part-time now) and sent her to French maternelle (pre-school) at the normal time ie in the September of the calendar year in which she turned three. As she has a November birthday, she was 2.10 when she started.

I chose a school that did half-days only for the first year so five x 2h45 sessions per week.

I didn't send DD to any kind of crèche or garderie (nurseries). We were not eligible for state-funded nurseries and the private ones I visited were horrible. If I had found one I had liked, I would happily have put her in one for one half day a week in the year before she started school.

sarah293 · 14/05/2009 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sarah293 · 14/05/2009 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

iwantitnow · 14/05/2009 19:30

I found a pre-school that would take DD from 2, she went at 2.2 in Jan, baby born in March. My plan wasn't to send her until September but I had morning sickness throughout my pregnancy uring the plus I had complications which meant I was in and out of hospital. Pre-school 3 mornings a week has been a godsend. DD did not shed a tear during the settling in period. She loves it and has allowed me somw time to rest with the new baby. I was really concerned about sending her so young as she had never been left with a non-family person not even a creche at the gym - she was fine. I would not have sent her to a nursery as usually not that well geared to toddlers.

Wheelybug · 14/05/2009 19:33

dd1 started pre-school at 2.8 (as that was September) she went 3 mornings for the first year and then 5 mornings for the second year at her own request.

dd2 will probably do the same - except she'll be 2.6 in the September.

uvbuggyblankets · 14/05/2009 19:53

I sent my son from 9mths toa childminder who lived 10 doors away. He is now 21/2 and im thinking about putting him in a private nursery so he can socialise more with other children.
I wanted him to be with a child minder for a more home setting environment. I have no regrets.

Claire2009 · 14/05/2009 19:56

I'm a SAHM.

Dd started Playschool at 2.6, she needed the stimulation, is very "tuned in" and needed her mind busy! She's done incredibly well since starting she's 3.1 now. When she started it was 9-11.30am twice a week, now she does 9-2.45pm three times a week.

Ds started at 2, he's 2.1yo now so been going a month, just 2 afternoons a week 12.15-2.45pm. I started him to encourage his speech tbh, he has very little speech but understands well...he has improved in the last month

feedthegoat · 14/05/2009 19:56

My ds has been going to playgroup 3 mornings a week since he turned 2.10. I do work 2 days a week but he is looked after by Grandparents and 2 of the days he goes are my days off anyway.

The playgroup is run by the same people who organise my local mums and tots so I found out about it through there. I liked the idea of his first experience of being left being in a familiar place with people he had seen around before. It has worked really well and he has loved going. I already feel quite sad about the fact that he'll be moving up to a school nursery in September as play school has been such an enjoyable thing for him. Hopefully this will continue at School though as I honestly think he was ready for socialising with more children as he is an only one.

Original poster

alittleteapot · 14/05/2009 21:48

Thanks all, really good to read your experiences. You've really given me confidence to go with my gut about what's right for dd.

OP posts:

shhhh · 14/05/2009 22:47

alittleteapot, I can see what you are coming from...

DD was 20 months when ds arrived and I so didn't want her to go to nursery and tbh as a sahm I had no reason to send her....

I enjoyed the time with her ans ds, and loved the activities we did togther (music,swimming,shopping etc) so why should I send her off to nursery.

Anyway, dd solialised with other's her age as we still socialised with others her age...BUT dh & I decided that last sept (yr before she started school) it would be best to send her to a preschool to help her develop and to have time away from mummy.

Initially she was down to attend a private nursery 10 mins away as they did the hours suited to me but at the last minute a place came available at a nursery 2 mins away (one that most of the kids off our estate attend).

BUT they would only allow me 2 days a week..fine...BUT would charge me for a full day despite me only wanting a few hours each day.

I hated dd going, didn't see why she needed to and hated her being away for so long BUT now im happy to leave her 2 days a week from 9.30am-3.30pm. IMO school hours and she has been doing well there. She is mixing with lo's she will be starting school with come sept.
I hate the way she has changed. Some of the things she says or does is not my choice BUT I guess she is a child and thats what they do!

I also enjoy the time I have 2 days a week as it now gives me and ds (now 2) time to go home and play or shop etc.

You should do what you want to do. If you don't feel happy now then leave it a while...BUT IMO (and I am someone who was soooo against nursery/preschool for dd) they will benefit from it a yr before school..gives you chance to get used to it as well.

Ds was going to start this year and to take dd's place but I thought "why should he go at 2 yrs when dd didn't go till 3 ish yrs.. I also want more time with him.

Good luck x

Flip

1 2