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Parenting

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Original poster

Scenes of disaster to have greeted you in the morning...?

51 replies

BitOfFun · 14/05/2009 13:23

My most recent one with dd2 (she has special needs, but I am well aware that that is by no means a pre-requisite for the kind of thing I am talking about...) was going into her room in the morning to find that she had not only ripped her carpet up (which I had nailed down), eaten some of the underlay, but also pulled some floorboards up

She had strewn the room with some old newspaper which must have come from the murky depths beneath the floor...it was orange, and so old that there were news articles about Dennis Healey and Barbara Castle...she had probably eaten some of that too

So come on, who can beat that? I need to know if your children are as horrid as mine for purely healthy reasons of comparison

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

BitOfFun · 14/05/2009 17:41

Shameless bump

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Original poster

BitOfFun · 14/05/2009 18:09

Anyone?

OP posts:

Stinkermink · 14/05/2009 18:21

While recovering from safe delivery of DD, DS woke up in the morning and left me dozing in bed with DD. Woke up to both house phones in a pint glass of water next to my head, balanced on the mattress...that was tricky. He had also made his own breakfast of coco pops and milk. This initially had involved taking a stool and balancing his own footstool precariously on top like something out of Dr Seuss and getting the cereal from the top shelf. I came down having recovered from the phone incident to chocolatey milk splashed all over the kitchen floor and walls in a trail to the dining room table. We live in a hot country so the ants were having a field day in the kitchen.

Have also come downstairs to copious amounts of vomit and puke from the dog. He has a delicate constitution and it's normally following some party or event where people feed him illicit pieces of food .

When DS started to grow out of daytime naps, I'd often go upstairs to find he hadn't been napping at all but creating snow scapes on the landing carpet with talc. Or filling his underwear with the stuff "but it feels magical mummy" great!

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Stinkermink · 14/05/2009 18:22

vomit and poo that should say, I think vomit and puke are one and the same

Tamarto · 14/05/2009 18:24

DS1 kindly fed the fish..

A whole tub (huge one) of fish food.

tigana · 14/05/2009 18:29

Not morning..but
In the car, DS in the back, after picking him up from nursery. DH is driving and turns head to say something to DS and just cries out "omigod!" and snaps head back to stare out of windscreen.
I think Something Bad has happened and spin round from passenger seat...to see DS sitting and smiling, coated in the suncream from his nursery bag, from nose to toes and on top of clothes.

He did the sudocream on carpet thing as a baby.

Original poster

BitOfFun · 14/05/2009 18:49

Laughing at the magical feel of talc

< sigh > ah sudocrem- bane of carpets everywhere...

Did the fish appreciate the sudden bounty then? Don't they just eat till they die?

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MerlinsBeard · 14/05/2009 18:58

oh nooo talc just reminded me

DS1 once covered DS2 in talc so DS2 (probably about 2 decided to wash it off with soap and water.....he turned in a bubbly pasty "thing" - it was HILARIOUS!!

Stinkermink · 14/05/2009 19:05

Talc is the bane of my life! Talc mixed with water, not sure if I could cope with that.
BoF, he often comes out with things like that, makes me smile even when I'm fuming!

largeginandtonic · 14/05/2009 19:08

Ooooh i just remembered the fish tank.

I had a massive one lots of fish. The twins emptied almost a whole tub of fish food in to it. I managed to save the fish and clean it all up. It took 3 hours. Just as i went to fetch the last lot of water...

They tipped the last of the food in, along with a few things from the front room floor. I very nearly wept.

Sometimes i wander why i ever had more children after those two. They are 10 now and so entertaining. Makes it worth it

Flocci · 14/05/2009 19:09

PMSL about the poo stashing twins. What I love the most is the image of a grown up visitor finding a craftily hidden bit of poo somewhere and being a bit suprised and mum just saying aaaah there it is ....

largeginandtonic · 14/05/2009 19:11

Oh they were crafty, i found it under pillows, at the back of drawers, in their wardrobe. Tis sob worthy really.

SoupDragon · 14/05/2009 19:12

DD fell asleep in the armchair with her hand in a tub of vaseline. A tub of vaseline that had been full but was now empty. I don't think she ate any of it and I don't think it beats floorboards TBH.

Tamarto · 14/05/2009 19:13

They loved it, but changing the water in a rather large tank at 7am is not what you need!

DS1 thought it was fun watching the fish swim round the bath though

TheProvincialLady · 14/05/2009 19:19

Stinkermink we had the magical feel of talc this morning as ds1 emptied a huge tub of it all over my bed, then rolled in it a few times (think snowman) and then round the whole of the bedroom. In three minutes

Stinkermink · 14/05/2009 19:21

TheProvincialLady how are these little buggers so nifty!!!! I am amazed I have no grey hair yet from DS antics and DD is fast following.

HairyMuff · 14/05/2009 19:25

I have come down to find the legs of the furniture have all been sellotaped together very tightly.

drlove8 · 15/05/2009 23:21

i had ds4 (nearly 4) trying to change his twin's nappy(dd4 SN), DH had left her mid change to get clean nappy and came back to ds4 wiping dd4's bum! ...... quite astonishing as his prefered method for cleaning his own bum is to wipe it on the bathroom walls/bath/sink/random object

SeverusIsMySlave · 16/05/2009 23:11

i was once in the middle of bf ds2 when dd (3) anounced she wanted a poo and took ds1 along as company, short while later wild laughter coming from the bathroom, i went up to find ds1 shwishing and splashing in the pooey toilet water with the loo brush
the whole bathroom and the 2 dc were soaked!

SparklyGothKat · 16/05/2009 23:18

not in the morning (like my fabric softener story) but was in the living room and heard a drip-drip-drip sound I went into kitchen and found water pouring out of the ceiling my DDs (again) had flooded the bathroom and there was water everywhere

brendafig · 17/05/2009 10:20

I really cannot compete with any of these wonderful tales! But friends of mine found bits of jigsaw pieces stuck decoratively to the bedroom wall with overnight poop...

Ledodgy · 17/05/2009 10:37

When my twin cousins were toddlers they both sneaked downstairs in the early hours and filled my Uncle's prize tropical fishtank with their soft toys. My uncle woke up to find 24 dead tropical fish on his kitchen floor and a fish tank full of teddies!

mumof3tobe · 19/05/2009 21:33

I have found DS in cot with a talk bottle squirting it up and down and laughing hysterically at it. The room smelt lovely for ages and so did the hoover as I hoovered it up.
Same DS has also been caught naked with permanent pen all over him including his private parts.

lisylisylou · 19/05/2009 23:09

Dear God, I was howling with laughter the other night reading your comments, feeling smug i hasn't woken up to scenes of destruction at all until the morning after I read this. My ds had tried to get to the toilet-took off his nappy but he was a diarheorrie and it landed on the bathroom carpet. He told my dh who just carried on pretending to sleep (how do men do it?). The dc's then came down to me and said that there was an assault course and had to jump over the poo. I went up and my dh said "I thought they were joking". Oh no, it was everywhere, my ds had got the tiniest bit of tissue and tried to clear it up.

lisylisylou · 19/05/2009 23:14

This didn't happen first thing in the morning but it was horribly embarrassing. An incident happened a month ago, where I had my little girl in a trolley in a supermarket car park which was on a hill. I was unloading the trolley into the car and had parked the trolley to the side of my car thinking she would be safe which was quite far in. Somehow she pushed her way out still in trolley and I can still see the trolley rolling down the hill in my mind. I was running after her and the trolley crashed into a stationary car with the owner in it. Luckily my little girl was ok - it took a lot of explaining!!!

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