Having a third child - yes or no?

[sallycinamon]

I have two beautiful dds - one is 3.9 and the other 9 months but ever since i had no.2 I haven't be able to get the thought of having another baby out of my head. I think about it all the time. Does anyone else feel like this?

I loved being pregnant and I love the 'baby' stage so much I am just finding it hard to accept that I won't go through it again. Dh isn't keen - 'it wouldn't be practical - would need new car, poss new house, we couldn't really afford it' etc and I know he is right. My parents would think I had lost the plot too.

I'm going back to work in 6 weeks and I can only presume this will make my desire for a third even greater.

So many mums I know feel completely the opposite and are relieved when they have had their second and shudder at the thought of being pregnant or having a newborn again. Not me.

Is this a common way to feel and will it fade?

I can completely understand these posts and its driving me to blimmin distraction! I have DS nearly 4 and DD nearly 2 but we live in a 2 bed semi and the lil ones share a box room with an extension bit at the end! This is our (DH'S) main reason for sticking at 2. It would be far more sensible particularly as the recession has meant we have no equity in our house and will be stuck here for at least 2 years. It would be more sensible not to pay childcare for another 4 years, to be able to provide for 2 financially when they're teenagers and young adults BUT..... I have a total itch for a 3rd and just think we'll make do like people always have and one day we'll be able to move! a baby could stay in with us for al least a year anyway! I had a pregnancy 'scare' this month as DH forgot to wear a condom on one occasion! but when AF came I was pretty gutted, surely this isn't right, if I regret it now surely I'd regret it more in years to come???? Luckily DH isn't committted enough to be brillant with condoms so what will be will be I guess

Couldn't put it better myself! You have the same concerns as me and the same itch by the sounds of it!

I am thinking of having the coil fitted but secretly hoping I will in the 1% of cases where it fails!

Yes, me too. I have 2 DDs aged 4 & 2 & they're fab. Knackering, but fab.

I W.A.N.T. another one, I yearn for it, I cannot believe I might never have another one but DH is definitely against it. He works away a lot, does long hours etc & he doesn't want to deal with me being pregnant, another baby, sleeplessness etc etc. I work PT & do ALL child/house stuff so have talked to him at length about his negativity. He just does not want another one.

We lost a baby at 16 weeks last Autumn. Given that he was happy to have a third one then but not now, I am confused.

I agree with apostrophe, I feel as if someone in our family hasn't arrived yet.

Maybe I'm spending too much time thinking about this.

frogthistle completely understand where you are coming from.

I felt the urge for a third weeks after having my second. Bizarre feeling for me as after my first DC I could not understand why anyone would want more!

Like you my DH does not want any more he says he is exhausted! (Lol)

Anyway having had a few weeks of coughs and colds and having to cancel a holiday due to illness I am going to rethink my thoughts.

I have thought and thought about this and wonder whether, in my case, I am nostalgic and just don't want to think my childbearing days are over....

I found having no2 so easy despite finding first DC SOOOO hard. That said I am now exhausted with DC2 and he is so mobile and the demands of DC1 that perhaps the nostalgia has past! (maybe)

My DD is 8 months and since the day she was born I've longed to be pregnant again. We both want a third child, we're just waiting for a better time for us as a family.

That would probably have to be my last as I've had two CS and have been advised not to have any more than 3.

Didn't want children when I first got married. Thought I would give it a go, DD1 arrived, and then I wanted four! Second pregnancy, and I now have DTs! (both girls!) So DD1 is 3, DTs are 6 months and I want another one. Everyone thinks I'm nuts, but I feel like my family isn't complete yet. Don't mind if I have a boy or not (most people assume thats why I would want another) but would really like an even number of children!

dingledangle It's so good to know it's not just me!

I've thought I was going mad sometimes, you know? I totally relate to DC2 being an absolute doddle after DC1 & I too have wondered if it's just a nostalgic wistfulness. I feel as if I have not yet had my 'last' pregnancy & to end childbearing here would mean a lot of coming to terms/mental processing for me. Is that self-indulgent? I don't know.

I don't think so, I want another child, not just a cuddly baby. I want our family to be bigger, I love seeing the kids development & I accept the non-baby status my current two are at - I love seeing them get there.

I think DH feels he is under a lot of pressure with the recession etc & doesn't want extra responsibility/financial pressure. He hasn't said so openly but I know him.

The baby we lost would have been born about now so my emotions about this are really raw right now.

Sigh, I don't know...

Yep, with me I'm sure it's nostalgic wistfulness too (well put frogthistle!). Completely understand where you are coming from Dingledangle and Frogthistle.

I'm quite a nostalgic person and always sad at the end of any era. DH not keen either although I might be able to wear him down in time... but don't really want to have to do that.

I think I might be dwelling on this too much too and should just enjoy my two and try to put it to the back of my mind for now.

Cautionary tale.... BF had a boy and a girl, and "just felt someone was missing" so tried for one more, despite feeling it might all be a bit much to cope with.

Turned out to be twins!

The cautionary tale is a good one. There are twins in my family so this is another reason I am cautious too!