Can you help me with the current thinking on toilet training, please?

[BecauseImWorthIt]

I'm a market researcher, and we're in the middle of a big project on nappies/training pants.

My DCs are both teenagers, so potty training/toilet training was a long time ago - and there weren't as many products around to help - i.e. we had nappies and pull ups were fairly new - but nothing more than that, as far as I can remember.

From memory, we waited until both were well over 2 before we started.

However, in some of the groups we've been doing, we've had mums talking about starting as early as 9 months, apparently on the advice of the Baby Whisperer.

Can this really be true?!

My 'gurus' when the DC were small were Miriam Stoppard and Penelope Leach - and it seems as though the advent of more recent gurus has changed things.

Has it really changed though?

PS I'm not trying to do any research for free, I'm just trying to get some clarity on the issue so that I really understand the wider context.

Well, I waited until mine were 2+ and then did the traditional potty training thing, but I think what you are talking about is Elimination communication, (Often referred to as EC on chat forums) where mums pick up on signs that their baby is geting ready to go and puts them on the potty appropriately (although I've never done it or researched it properly, so no doubt someone more qualified than I am could fill you in) and I think it is done from an earlier age- HTH

I just waited 'til mine were almost 3 and wanting to do it for themselves tbh - all the EC business seems like a faff to me. [lazy mother emoticon]

My personal view is to wait until they want to do it on the loo (perhaps with a child's loo seat). Potties are so gross.

Blimey. Doesn't that make it all much harder work?!

Thanks. Will go off and Google EC now.

No - easy peasy. I don't really understand all the fuss about potty training. I just waited and waited (with plenty of demonstrations of how the loo works from the rest of the family) until DD told me she wanted to do a poo on the loo. Wee followed about 30 minutes later. No more nappies from then on (night and day).

current thinking is to wait until 2.6 to 3 years imo
pullups definite no no
padded toilet seat very good idea
people use potette's when out and about but no idea what theses are
I used plastic pants over normal pants and a towel when out and baout in the pushchair/car seat
current thinking is never go back to nappies once you've started except at night

So two more questions:

1. Why are pull ups a no no?
2. Why the pressure to start before the child is ready?

(I seem to remember, BA, that we did pretty much what you did, with DS2!)

I think that there is pressure to potty train early because people somehow believe that it is a sign of good development to be out of nappies.

It escapes why potties should be seen as more desirable and a sign of greater independence than nappies. All that is achieved with potties is some degree of bladder and bowel control - you still need an adult there to empty and clean the horrible thing. What's the advantage over nappies (where you cannot have accidents when out and about, which seems like a huge advantage to me).

It escapes me

1. because they are too like nappies, if the child wets itself it can't feel that the clothes are damp, a key aspect in training I think
2. because mums and MILs are always saying that they potty trained at 2 and we feel pressure to get on with it

So are training pants OK then?

I only used potties for a couple of weeks, just easier in the beginning, I used acombination of potty and loo

no idea what training pants are
we just used pants

Training pants are slightly thinner versions of pull ups - they're designed to be less absorbent in some way (not sure how/what technology they use) so that the child has the sensation of being wet. And on the Huggies ones they have a design on the front that fades when the nappy has been wet/the child has done a wee.

well from my point of view that would have been pointless cos they are probably more expensive than a pack of bog standard nappies and money was one of my reasns for not waiting until 3 and a half when the dcs decided they wanted to use the loo

Yes, I think they are more expensive, but have no idea by how much!

I used pull ups (as nappies) to introduce potty training as they were easier to get up and down than normal nappies. DS was under the age of 2 (but showing signs of being ready) so I didnt feel the need to rush him straight into pants. When he started telling me he needed to poo and pee while wearing the pull up and was able to hold it till we got to the toilet then I put him into pants. He was out of nappies in the daytime by the time he was 2.

DD (now 5) was out of nappies by 2 1/2years and I also used pull ups with her. DS was ready sooner than her but that was through him following her (and us) to the toilet and he would copy what we did i.e. he would sit on the little stool at the sink and then use a bit of toilet roll to 'wipe' himself and then put it in the toilet.

You wait until they say to you "mummy, I don't want to wear nappies any more" You say "OK darling, here are some pants and there is the loo" This happens at some time between 3 and 4, and results in potty training in 10 minutes with no stress, worry, stained carpets or constant repetitions of "Do you need a pee? Are you sure? Shall we just try?" which are tedious to parent, child and innocent bystanders.

So is there anyone here who has started to train before your child was showing obvious signs of being ready?

well yes, it used to be the case that to get your child into preschool/ playgroup at 2 and a half they had to be out of nappies
now due to dda laws they ahve to take children in nappies. So I 'trained' mine to use the potty from about 2.5 but tbh that eneded up being the perfect age I think

Hmm, I'm more of the EC school myself, both DS used a potty from 6 mths (why let them poo in their nappy when you know they are going to - it's easier to clean a potty than wash a nappy!).

It built awareness of bodily functions and didn't train them to sit in their own s**t.

As we both work full-time we didn't "properly" potty train DSs until they were about 2.3 - coinciding with a week of holiday.

I see loads of kids who train a lot later who are still in night nappies at nearly 5 and who still have accidents regularly (huge generalisation but based on my 4 closest friends with children the same age).

When you are washing nappies you are motivated to potty train earlier I think, you are not worried about washing pants etc because you would be washing nappies anyway.

Plenty of children ARE capable of controlling themselves at that age, why create more landfill for 2 more years if you can do it earlier?

agree, that's what my mum said, they all potty trained as soon as the child hit 2 because they were sick of the faff of washing nappies

Well we used night pull-ups at night for the short period between being dry in day and being dry at night. So much easier than nappies. TBH, once they were out of nappies in the day neither of my first two wanted to wear them at night so the pull-ups did the job well. Also meant they could dress themselves after bath so added to the independent thing.

I wouldn't use them to toilet train but I found them very useful for the purpose we used them for. DD2 is still in nappies but both my older ones just decided at about 2 that they wanted to use the toilet. I'd second padded toilet seats and a step rather than a potty.

So who are the current authors/supporters of EC? I'm thinking I might go to the library and have a look at some books.

Thanks btw for all your help so far!