Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

parents who DONT use the dummy - i have a question for you....

52 replies

tostaky · 17/04/2009 07:39

what do you do when your lo cries and whinges then?
for example, my 6 mo son sometimes whinges for 5 mins in the buggy bc he wants to be in my arms and then after 5 mins with no success he starts to cry. He is not interested in toys.
Do you
a. give in and take him in your arms
b. persevere and let him cry it out
c. explain to him, you cant possibly hold him all the time, and the puschair is quite nice
d. other - please explain.

I find in those situations, the dummy is really good. but i want to stop using it so he can hopefully learn to settle himself at night. i jusy dont know what to do when he cries and i used to give him.
thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EffiePerine · 17/04/2009 07:47

We don't use a dummy cos my boys refused to take one. I'd cuddle the babyif poss, if not I'd push him in the buggy till he fell asleep. Do you mean when you're out and about or at home?

EffiePerine · 17/04/2009 07:48

also depends what he is crying for

if hungry - feed
if cross - cuddle
if tired - get to sleep

Original poster

tostaky · 17/04/2009 07:48

when out n about.
so you'll let him cry to sleep?

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

tostaky · 17/04/2009 07:49

he cries bc he wants to be in my arms.

OP posts:

EffiePerine · 17/04/2009 07:52

well if D2 crieswhen we're out it's usually cos he's tired or hungry (he's younger tho, 3 mo). So if it's the former I ush him till he's asleep (he sleeps v well in the buggy), if the latter I stop somewhere so I can feed him. He does get left to cry more than DS1 (not for long usually) just cos I'm dealing with a toddler as well.

Does he not like the buggy? Have you tried using a sling?

EffiePerine · 17/04/2009 07:52

ush? push

Original poster

tostaky · 17/04/2009 07:55

you dont understand my point. this was an example.

sometimes a baby can cry just bc he/she is fussy. i want to stop giving mine the dummy in these cases and i want to do it without giving in his fussy request.

OP posts:

Original poster

tostaky · 17/04/2009 07:55

just wanted to know what other parents were doing.

OP posts:

greenelephant · 17/04/2009 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuffyFluckling · 17/04/2009 08:00

In your specific example I would initially try and jolly him into the buggy by distracting him with a toy or something to hold (my sunglasses or the car keys usually) and lots of jolly kisses and raspberries and peepo as I put him in. That usually works.

If it didn't work I would address the reason he didn't want to be in the buggy (cold? wet? tired? hungry? etc)

If the reason was that he wanted to be held, I would hold him. I often end up carying him in one arm and pushing pushchair with the other hand!

I always have a sling with me so when he gets fed up with the buggy I can pop him on my back and carry on with what I'm doing if it's important.

If he's still cross and upset I change my plans to accomodate him. If he's just too tired or bored or whingy to do whatever I had wanted to do, I go home.

Also (not that you asked) if I used a dummy and it worked I wouldn't be in a rush to stop using it!

EffiePerine · 17/04/2009 08:02

I think it's a different approach: if DS2 is fussing I try to think why and sort it. It does depend on the baby though: DS2 is pretty settled and generally only cries when hungry or tired (or too hot or uncomfortable). As I said I've never used a dummy, but are you sure he isn't hungry? (speaking as someone with two v frequent feeders).

wastingmyeducation · 17/04/2009 08:03

DS didn't like being flat in the pram, but was much happier when we changed to the buggy so his head was more elevated. Before that, I would stop and cuddle him, or give him a little feed.

They don't know they're fussy though. To them it's a genuine need.

MuffinBaker · 17/04/2009 08:04

give in of course

lavenderbongo · 17/04/2009 08:06

It never occurred to me to use dummys with my two dd simply because my parents never used them. So when out with them you automatically find alternative ways of dealing with fussy behaviour.
I used to just ignore if it wasnt a hunger/wet nappy or other emergency type cry. My dds soon learnt that they had to sit inteh car seat or buggy some times.
Distraction also works well - sort of "ooh look at the birdy" excited comments.

EffiePerine · 17/04/2009 08:06

Am not entirely convinced babies fuss for no reason (toddlers on the other hand...). And explaining that the buggy is a nice place to be is not going to work

littleducks · 17/04/2009 08:16

now i mean this in the nicest possible way so please dont take offence, but when your lo fusses do you think it could possibly because he would quite like a dummy at that point?

lets be more broad and say he wants comfort and so he could get that from a cuddle or a dummy at that point

when dd was a baby she wasnt keen on the buggy and i did the pushing and baby on hip/sling with ds he was more likely to be left to whinge as i had dd to contend with, if he whinged for more than 5 min i would take him out unless it was because he wanted to sleep in which case i would push/jiggle buggy poss recline seat so he was more comfy

i have dd as a secret weapon though and if ds is whingy i can say make your brother laugh and she can toss her hair about/peekaboo/pull funny faces far better than me

mankyscotslass · 17/04/2009 08:19

I had two high maintenance babies and they both refused a dummy.

Sometimes they do just need to feel reassured and close to you, and like a pp I have sometimes had to carry the baby and push the empty buggy.

I used a sling with great success with my boys. I did sometimes feed them to calm them, they were both frequent feeders. My thinking was they obviously had a need and if by feeding them it settled them then so be it.

I used to get the "make a rod for your own back" story from my mum and mil, but it didn't.

Gorionine · 17/04/2009 08:27

I always gave in and took them in my arms,several reasons for that:

I just could not stand them crying.

I enjoyed having them in my arms.

It is something that you cannot do anymore when they grow up.

-My Dh sisters all said I definitely should not

FourArms · 17/04/2009 08:27

DS1 & particularly DS2 were v.high maintenance. They were usually carried in a sling rather than a buggy, and were bf on demand whenever practical. I pretty much fed them every time they cried, and if that didn't settle them (which it usually did), then tried to work out what else it could be.

However, neither would take a dummy. If they had, I might would have used one.

mankyscotslass · 17/04/2009 08:30

FA, sounds like we shared sons.

My DD was a walk in the park in comparison!

lockets · 17/04/2009 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PortAndLemon · 17/04/2009 08:45

Mine have both refused point-blank to take dummies. But at 6 months I had them in slings rather than buggies, so your original situation didn't really arise. (I think I had DS on some kind of parallel-reality timeshare with FourArms and mankyscotslass)

Milkmade · 17/04/2009 08:50

I usually pushed the buggy for a little while if I thought the crying was cos she was tired, fed her if she was hungary or took her out and popped her in the sling if she wanted a cuddle. (the latter generaaly acompanied by an internal gripe of once again here I go pushing several hundered euro of empty buggy and carrying my baby!)

WoTmania · 17/04/2009 08:52

I would pick him up. Rarely use prams/buggies at that age though. I sling, that way they gat a comforting cuddle and you get to walk/do housework/see to other children as your hands are free.
HTH

greatwhiteshark · 17/04/2009 08:55

You need to stop seeing it as 'giving into him fussing' and start seeing it as 'meeting his emotional needs to be held'. He's only 6m! He needs cuddles, he needs to feel safe. Dummies are a substitute for mum, not the other way around!

Flip

1 2 3