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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you tell the mum?

40 replies

Trifle · 04/04/2009 19:34

Some friends came over today with their children and their 10 year old dd told ds1 (9) and ds2 (7) a rhyme that included the works s..t and f...ing b..ch. I'm astonished at her really as her parents are extremely hot on manners, rudeness, how essential it is to be nice, even the word 'stupid' is banned in their house. If they knew what she had said they would be absolutely horrified. I am very good friends with the mum so should I tell her?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 04/04/2009 19:35

Yes. She can't tackle the behaviour if she doesn't know about it.

rubyslippers · 04/04/2009 19:35

yes - tell her

diedandgonetodevon · 04/04/2009 19:35

I'd want to know if it was my child

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justaboutback · 04/04/2009 19:38

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piscesmoon · 04/04/2009 19:40

Yes

kaz33 · 04/04/2009 19:45

They are just words and all kids know them through the playground. Because of their parents over reaction to the use of them they probably think that they are incredibly rude and daring.

Me mostly I ignore them if my boys use them, with a reminder that some people find them shocking and they will upset people if they use them. At home, we aren't shocked and nor do we react if they do use them. So far, so good.

piscesmoon · 04/04/2009 22:50

At home,I am shocked and we don't use them.

piscesmoon · 04/04/2009 22:51

And I do react.

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 04/04/2009 22:52

I wouldn't

VinoEsmeralda · 04/04/2009 22:59

I wouldnt either, this is what kids do, I did it, my DC will do it, IMO it is all part of growing up (finding bounderies )

Desiderata · 04/04/2009 23:02

Kaz33 is spot on.

It's what kids do. I did it in the 70s, and the swear words haven't changed since then.

Everything else has, but not those

Normal, normal, normal.

piscesmoon · 04/04/2009 23:14

'IMO it is all part of growing up (finding bounderies '

It is knowing that it stays firmly in the playground and is not part of normal conversation.

thelionmummy · 04/04/2009 23:34

nup dont be telling her, no no no

screamingabdab · 05/04/2009 08:23

I would tell the parents, and let them deal with it as they see fit.

OP, try not to be shocked. Older children who really do know better sometimes pull these words out of the bag to show off to younger ones. Totally normal

TheMightyBoosh · 05/04/2009 08:27

Yep my kids are similar aged and I'dwant to know (oldest two 9 and 8)

They come out with all sorts of swear words rom school and home is where we get to inform them that its unacceptable.

thelionmummy · 05/04/2009 08:55

I would want to know if it were my child, BUT from what the OP says about this other mothers attitude towards words, i would be reluctant to say anything as i think her reaction may be OTT.

hercules1 · 05/04/2009 09:02

Of course not. It wont be long before your own kids are swearing with their peers. It's what kids do.

kittywise · 05/04/2009 09:08

Ds1 10 has just come back from school journey.

He goes to very middle class, white, safe, cosy, comfy village school. Parents there are mostly bohemian, air kissing, eco fans, shit hot on manners etc etc etc.

With great glee, as he recounted his week,( very little of it was about the wonderful activities I had paid over £200 for btw) he told me how they had all fought with the other school there and how as far as I can work out they swore at each other in a way that would make soldiers blush!

It is normal behaviour

Tortington · 05/04/2009 09:11

oh for crap sake - are you lot 6 "i'm tellin' muuuuuuuuum"

kids do this kind of thing...

piscesmoon · 05/04/2009 09:13

I don't think that I would want them fighting with another school and calling it normal behaviour!

hercules1 · 05/04/2009 09:14

Piscesmoon - it is normal behaviour, really it is. "fought" doesnt have to mean fist fights at dawn.

hercules1 · 05/04/2009 09:17

I remember being horrified at my lovely little angel having learnt the proper barney song with I love you and everything coming home from school at the age of 5 and singing the I hate you version with bullet and all. Now at 13 he is fully versed along with his peers in a full repetoire of swear words which they use together but rarely (occasional slip up) in front of their parents.

randomrabbit · 05/04/2009 09:17

I wouldn't tell

cthea · 05/04/2009 09:23

Next door neighbour (10) called my 4 y.o. DD a f* b*. I told him he's not to use such language with my children. He hasn't come round since. His mum has asked my mum if they'd fallen out for any reason. I haven't told her yet as haven't met her since properly but have been wondering whether to tell her or not. I think i ought to because she'll know why her DS isn't welcome in some houses, better she knows it's his language rather than anything else. I haven't been too harsh with the kid, just told him not to use such words with my children. FWIW my 4 y.o. DD then used the same words on her first day at a new nursery. My DH was mortified when told by staff.

piscesmoon · 05/04/2009 09:30

If I took a class away on a school visit I would expect them to make friends with any other schools there, I would be horrified if there was rivalry. I remember going on school visits myself and everyone 'gelled'with the shared experience.
I agree that there will be the 'language of the playground,' but that is where it should stay. They should know how to adapt the language to the situation.

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