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Parenting

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Original poster

DD had a really awful accident and I feel really shaky and panicy now...

44 replies

CrushWithEyeliner · 27/03/2009 13:12

It was one of those accidents that it was a miracle she was not really seriously hurt. Spent the morning in A&E and she is fine.
I keep going over it in my mind again and again and I can't understand what prevented her from...well I am not going to say it

I feel like such an utterly shit Mother. What kind of fool lets go of a pram on a wet step to get something? The breaks were on at least but...Honestly, to myself I was so not on the ball. I keep getting flashbacks of lifting the buggy and not knowing what she was going to look like.

I know there isn't much anyone can do or say - I guess I need to get it down. I was just holding her all day thinking how fragile and precious she is and how her life is in my hands. What a responsibility and I let her down big time.

OP posts:

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etchasketch · 27/03/2009 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madwomanintheattic · 27/03/2009 13:17

cup of tea. both of you have a nap.

my friend did it with a full shopping trolley and a car seat. my childminder did it to dd1 lol and was convinced i was going to sack her.

not the first, won't be the last, breathe. it's all ok!

another cup of tea.

franke · 27/03/2009 13:20

Poor you. You're not a shit mother at all, it could happen to any of us. I hope you're both feeling better soon. Please be kind to yourself - your lovely dd needs you to be upbeat and CONFIDENT .

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smallorange · 27/03/2009 13:23

I was physically sick when I got home from A&E with DD2, last year. She broke her collarbone falling out of her high chair because I didn't strap her into it.

I still feel AWFUL about it, a year on. I could go on and on about accidents friends children have had. It happens. And she's fine. That's the main thing. A few glasses of wine tonight are in order, I think.

NorbertDentressangle · 27/03/2009 13:25

When you say "I keep getting flashbacks of lifting the buggy and not knowing what she was going to look like" I know exactly how you feel. It sounds like an accident I had with DD when she was little.

I had pulled the pushchair up the big old stone steps out side my Grans house, turned around to unlock the door not relising that one of the swivel wheels had spun round and was overhanging the top step.

DD stopped crying way before I did -I was so shocked and upset. I took her to A&E to get her checked over and they were so lovely and reassuring.

You will feel better and less guilty (although you are NOT guilty in any case anyway). Its just shock.

Original poster

CrushWithEyeliner · 27/03/2009 13:30

Oh thank God I am not the only one! It was a ridiculous lapse of judgement, I am still so scared - knots in my stomach. Thank you for making me feel a bit better about this though

Yes Wine tonight for sure! xx

OP posts:

madwomanintheattic · 27/03/2009 13:53

don't start a 'rolled off the bed' thread, will you? it's almost a rite of passage...

WowOoo · 27/03/2009 13:59

Crush, I had a close call when ds was tiny and I HAD NOT put brakes on! (I was going through horrible time, so that's my excuse)

Luckily I noticed immediately and so had a kind gentleman near the bottom of the slope I was on.....EEEEK.

McDreamy · 27/03/2009 14:04

Oh not the rolled of the bed thing - I will have to fess up if you do

She was only a few weeks old! Why did I think putting the moses basket next to me on the bed was a good idea? I guess it was a good idea until I rolled over in the middle of the night and the moses baskets slid off the bed. DD landed under the radiator

cory · 27/03/2009 14:47

I failed to put the pram on the chassis properly when dd was 2 months old: she went head first into the street. Thankfully, I was on my way to my first session at first mums group meeting at the clinic: they sat me down and fed me cups of tea while two HVs examined dd. I reckon it was the bobble hat that saved her.

cory · 27/03/2009 14:49

So, what it all amounts to is: we have all done these things. You will be in shock, but you will get over it.

These days I can even laugh about it and say in a patronising manner to dd 'well of course you were dropped on your head, so that accounts for it'. But I wasn't laughing then.

OrmIrian · 27/03/2009 14:52

Poor you crush

Been there. I was 35 weeks pregant with DD and I tripped and dropped DS#1 on the pavement. I had just been holding him upside down to make him laugh too. Thank f*ck I didn't drop him then - straight on his head. He was fine too but that didn't stop me shaking and feeling sick for hours.

Just try to stop thinking about it. Distract yourself, have some nice hot tea and a glass or 2 of something stronger as soon as is decent!

Nabster · 27/03/2009 14:52

My two eldest have both been rushed to hospital and I remember being too scared to look at them. It happens to a lot of us a lot of the time. It is just unlucky. No reflection of your parenting skills.

RubyrubyrubyRaven · 27/03/2009 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

369thegoosedrankwine · 27/03/2009 15:54

Poor you Crush.

You're a perfectly normal mum having a perfectly normal reaction (ie: blaming yourself for what could have been). Your dd is fine that is all that matters.

My mum bounced me out of my (old style huge type) silver cross pram onto the pavement when she didn't strap me in properly after having a Christmas sherry at her mother and baby christmas do. She can finally laugh about it - 32 years later, but admits to being traumatised for years. I'm fine too.

Doodle2U · 27/03/2009 15:58

DD (aged about 18 months at the time) standing in front of shopping trolley at B&Q - wheel jammed and she toppled right out on to the top of her head. She had a hat on.

I cried and cried and cried.

She didn't.

Bet every mother on here has got a story like yours to tell, crush.

daisy99divine · 27/03/2009 16:00

you poor thing, Crush. Also, weirdly, going over things in your minds eye is part of the brains way of coping with shock

you see it again and again and again and gradually your brain processes it and puts it away into a little box and allows you/ it to move on

it's a natural reaction

dollius · 27/03/2009 16:07

DS2 fell head first out of a highchair in a restaurant (aged 11 months). The whole place did this massive intake of breath and I looked round and he was on his head on the floor.

He fell out of bed aged 6 months.

I dropped a very large stereo speaker on DS1's head from a good height (me standing on a chair, him on the floor) when he was 10 months old.

DH nearly drowned DS2 in the bath at 6 months old by leaving him on his own to attend to DS1 who had banged his head outside the bathroom. I nearly collapsed from heart failure that time and was shaking and in shock for days afterwards.

I could go on and on

TheOddOne · 27/03/2009 16:08

Pushing DS1 as a small toddler around the garden - he was sitting in one of those cars with the big bit out the back for me to hold.

Going really quite fast and he was giggling away then we hit the edge of the path. The car stopped and DS1 didn't.

He ended up with scratches all down his face.

I was mortified.

You are not the only one see.

izyboy · 27/03/2009 16:09

Oh sweetheart, try not to think about it. We have had alot of near misses over the years, I think it is not unusual to be honest, you are only human.

purpleduck · 27/03/2009 16:15

Everyone has incidents like these..HONESTLY!!!

I think all you can do is learn from it and move on.

And have a stiff drink/chocolate of course

rolandbrowning · 27/03/2009 16:18

There are a few occasions that I still think about a lot even though they happened a while ago where ds could have been hurt by me not doing something, or looking away, or just not thinking. You are not on your own! So glad she's ok.

Comewhinewithme · 27/03/2009 16:25

I did this with dd3 I put her in the buggy pushed the blanket round her little legs and rushed through the door (we were late) .
I tipped the buggy forward to get it down the first of 4 large front steps and she just thumped out and landed face first on concrete . In the rush I had not strapped her in . Completley understand not wanting to lift buggy up . She was ok a big cut on nose and both of us shook up she made me feel guilty for weeks after though by making me check she was strapped in .

It happens don't feel guilty (although I know you will) .
If you were a shit mother you wouldn't care enough to post on here and beat yourself up about it .

Stiff drink tonight .

Comewhinewithme · 27/03/2009 16:29

Oh and my sil had to chase after her ds1 last week in a busy shopping precinct she felt her belt catch on something but it was only when she ran back that she saw a group of people stood round her pram which had tipped forward when her belt pulled on the handle and had her ds 2 in it . He was fine too.

muffle · 27/03/2009 16:33

Oh you poor thing, lots of us have had these experiences.

I had DS in a over-full, heavy shopping trolley that slipped my grip and tipped over on uneven ground (outside that is, on concrete paving )

All I had in my mind was wrestling the trolley to stop it from falling hard and trying to grab DS before he hit the ground. I just managed it and he was OK, I just sat there surrounded by stuff on the floor, holding onto him. Then I looked up and saw a man sprinting towards me on the other side of the fallen trolley - the look on his face was pure terror, I'm sure he thought he was going to find a hideous scene, the poor man - and at that point I realised how bad it was.

Remember she is OK. Also agree with daisy, you will have to go over it and over it a bit until it sinks in. But you will feel better soon.

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