Do you ever imagine something terrible happening to your babies?

[Whitty]

Is it just me?

A few nights a week my husband works late, and its then that my imagination goes to overdrive.

I will put the boys to bed, and go in the shower. I then think how terrible it would be if someone broke in, and stole my babies, whilst I was in the shower.

I often think stuff like this.

Does anyone else?

All the time. I often have very vivid images of what would happen if i was on a train platform and a big gust of wind knocked my pushchair onto the tracks and a train came along. I see baby fly up and out of buggy, is awful.
The same with falling down the stairs holding one of them or losing balance while carrying them near a banister on 1st floor.
I thought it was quite normal as have spoken to some friends and they've all had similar thoughts too.

I have strange thoughts.
I was worrying today that I might fall down the stairs. For no reason other than I was on the loo thinking 'I hope I dont fall down the stairs'.

Then when I was in Monsoon with a very high mezanine level I was scared I would fall off. Even though I was nowhere near the edge and would have had to launch myself over the barrier.

Then yesterday at my friends I was worried I would spill my coke all over her new carpet. I was gripping onto it for dear life.

I am strange. And worry too much.

PLEASE tell me it is normal

I think it's a normal coping mechanism to play out scenarios in your mind. They shouldn't dominate your life though and if you are having these sort of thoughts constantly it's probably causing you some stress.

Have you tried visualising yourself in a place where you are all together and safe as a distraction from the scarier thoughts? What about reading in the bath instead of having a shower - or having a radio in the bathroom?

It is normal to some degree, but if the thoughts are intrusive, persistent, and you are unable to recognise them as slightly over the top, then it isnt.

This sort of thinking is seen in some some pychiatric disorders, of course there is a spectrum and where you say "to the left normal, to the right abnormal" depends on what sort of person is making the judgement.

Oh my god, I'm weird....

No! You're not weird. You say yourself "my imagination goes into overdrive" so you recognise that your thoughts are inflated, and unlikely to happen.

You would be weird if you stopped showering because you were convinced that someone was going to come into the house.

You would also smell.

Yes, I do this too. But I'm learning to stop myself as soon as I notice that I'm doing it. There's no point in pondering worst case scenarios that probably won't happen.

lol....
god thats funny....

I do though, have to go into my boys room, after my shower, just to check...

still, I'm not weird.

I used to get this a lot, invisage my dd/ds falling/car crashing into us while walking over a Zebra crossing and us flying through the air ...

I associated it with my pnd I had at the time, but I have had a few occassional thoughts again so I am glad I'm not alone...

Whitty I think that's normal to check on them after a shower, especially as you may not hear them cry when standing under running water. When I'm getting in bath/shower, I check doors are loced and windows shut and always look in in them after, and whenever I get up through the night, before I go to bed and whenever I stand up in the evening whether that's to pee or to get something to eat. It's not weird.

sms, yeah but I don't check just for checking sake, I check that they really have not been abducted!

I get that when I'm tired, I just lose any perspective which was hard work when DD was tiny. I think it can make you a better parent because you can use it to anticipate what might go wrong & prevent it.

Or you just hide in bed all day, which also helps.

It's anxiety imo. (I am a mental health nurse btw)

We all have these thoughts to some extent. However at times of stress, major life changes, extreme tiredness and having to adjust to changes in circumstances etc, we are more prone to the thoughts becoming stronger. (having a baby often ticks all of the above. )

Also it is common for these thoughts to lead to a slight increase in obsessional type behaviours, e.g. checking doors/windows etc.

It is very rare to be so unwell (mentally) that you lose touch with reality.

All of the examples on here (again just imo) are not a sign of people being "mad"/unwell.

Also it is partly because generally when someone becomes a parent, there is an overwhelming sense of responsibility and usually happiness. This can lead to anxiety and the above symptoms.

God, I do it all the time. And I don't have PND and I'm not depressed. But imagining the worst that can happen means it probably wont happen. Although it didn't stop my daughter from happily wandering into the middle of the road the other day - however, none of my children have ever been brutally murdered or stolen from their beds - yet.

It's normal.
I was gripped by irrational fear that huge robust shelf would fall and crash on dd when tiny so made dh tale everything off it and entirely rearrange kitchen.
Used to practically see knives escape from drawers and plunge themselves into her too.Utterly irrational but i understand it to be a primitive rsponse that ensures you really keep as vigilent as possible.

I still check dd when shes asleep to make sure shes still breathing. Shes 6. But 75% of the time she snores so loud, I dont need to go into the room. She does do this weird holding breath thing in her sleep though, which has really freaked me out several times.

touch wood, of course. Perhaps I'll go and check on them...

I have started doing this again occasionally, but it was quite intense when DD was first born. I think it's a coping mechanism to get us used to worrying about protecting another individual.

Its not just you whitty and I think onepieceofcremeegg's post is spot on. The lat time DD stayed at her grandma's I was awake at 5am convinced that she had fallen down the stairs because she didn't know where she was.

Mind you, falling down the stairs is pretty high on my anxiety list at the monent - I fell down the stairs on Boxing Morning with DD and broke my leg! In some ways, worrying about certain things is healthy as it makes you cautious. It is when it takes over RATIONAL though and actions it needs to be looked at.

I do this too. I used to get sudden flashes in my head of something terrible happening, like a mini snuff film.

The other night (v tired), I remembered a party we had all gone to 6 months ago, at the National Theatre. We'd been on the top floor, with a balcony. I kept thinking about what would have happened if I'd held DS2 over the balcony and he'd fallen down. I was flinching but I couldn't stop replaying the scene it my head, it was horrific.

Before the DC I lived in a 5th-floor flat and sometimes I'd grip the sides of my bed because I was worried I'd not be able to stop myself jumping out of the window! I have never jumped out of a window or held a baby over a balcony so I have no idea why these thoughts haunt me.

BABBLINGTON!what a stupid post,what the hell????

I also imagine my dh will be murdered/mugged/blown up every time he goes out with his friends for beers, or frankly, just to do the sainsburys run. Thankfully he doesn't go out that often!

There's a really good book called 'What Mothers Do - Even When It Looks Like Nothing' by Naomi Stadler I think? Anyway, it's all based on her sessions chatting to mothers of all shapes and sizes, and she has a whole section on exactly this - mothers imagining worst case scenarios happening to their children.

Her theory is that we all do it to a certain extent, and that it's a way of our brains making sure that we've thought of everything to keep our children safe. As other posters have said, it's when it gets out of proportion or makes us behave in crazy ways that it's not a good thing.

DS is nearly 3 and I still go and poke him when he's asleep (gently) to make sure he's breathing and reactive.

Oh, I'm awful for panicking about my DC's. I leave their windows open on the latch in the summer, so they don't die of heat stroke . Then panic and decide to close them so they aren't abducted. I do need to get a grip.