Do you think mumsnet has made you a better parent?

[dragonbutter]

I've been pondering.
I get a lot of support from mumsnet although admit I don't ask a lot of parenting questions. I like the company really and there are people who really make me laugh. I prefer the really silly threads.

I feel supported by knowing there are lots of you out there in the same position, perhaps not all that comfortable in the role of mum. This was particularly useful while i was a SAHM.

But, I do tend to ignore the kids while i'm on here.

i love the whole mumocracy philosophy where we are all experts in our own field and wish i'd discovered long before i did as I would have loved to have asked all those first time mum questions.

I'm not even sure i can give advice to the new mums as I appear to have forgotten everything now, i presume a side effect of being sleep deprived back then.

I'm back at work now and get the social interactiong with adults that i need to be sane so maybe i'm just hanging around here now.

While i'm typing this the kids are whining and moaning at each other and looking for entertainment.

So is mumsnet making me a worse or better parent?

I'd say it makes me a worse mum.

you'll need to expand on that crackernut.
why?

No, it has made me a worse mum.

Right now DS1 has broken his lego dinosaur in frustration and crying, and I chose to answer this op rather than go to him.

dragonbutter, I had the misfortune to google your name the other day I am still eating cake and chocolate and mouthwash trying to get the sour taste out of my mouth!

In answer to your question...

yes it has made me a better parent. I have learned so much that I would not have learned anywhere else, and it was essential for us.

But I do admit sometimes DS really winds me up when he insists on monkeying about while I am trying to decide whether or not UABU.

I don't tend to use it when my daughter's around and if I do and she calls I generally go running, soooo I don't think it makes me worse.

I don't ask parenting questions often either.

BUT it does give me another viewpoint when I'm pondering how to do something or how to tackle something. So it's definitely something I wouldn't want to be without.

Perhaps by resolving issues that would otherwise drive me nuts, it makes me less stressed, thus making me a better mum?

Or, if I post on AIBU it makes me more stressed as people tend to lace into me thus confirming my insecurities and making me a more neurotic mum.

I don't know. Now I'm conflicted!!!!! Off to draw up a questionnaire for dd to complete to see if she thinks I'm a better parent or not

Message withdrawn

For advice and confidence boosting MN is unbeatable. It has been a huge source of support and also toned down my neuroses.
I only go on when DD is asleep tho...

sorry about that hereidrawtheline.
it wasn't intentional i promise you.

i wonder if there's a distinction between being a better parent because you are feeling supported and less alone because your on the computer or spending more time face to face with the kids but not actually feeling happy.

which is the better parent?

note i'm saying better/worse parent and not bad or good. we're all great parents of course but could we be improved is what i'm saying?

I think that is too big a job for even Mumsnet!

I think I need it more as a person than a Mum iyswim.

I mn at work mostly. Better parent, worse employee.

And it's made me a lot less smug about things that just happened to be easy for dd but aren't for other kids, so better mum for anyone else to have to deal with. That's important too, I think.

good point mangolassi, i think i'm more understanding of there not necessarily being a wrong and right way to parent.

right now my kids are in the garden washing stones and putting them in the sun to dry.
they aren't bothered whether i'm there or not.
so maybe i'm a worse housekeeper as i should be emptying and filling the dishwasher.

that is quite alright dragon. You cant be responsible for everything can you! But did me!

Anyway... as you were!

i like that googling dragonbutter has become the new 'bat'

I don't know about better or worse but I would probably a less confident mum. MN is a huge comfort and source of humour, reality/sanity checks etc.

It is fantastic for answers on parenting or other questions which range from really basic to conceptual stuff when you may not have anyone to ask in real life

And you are perfectly entitled to agree or disagree with opinions offered.

I have also made new rl friends on here.

I wouldn't be without it.

If I wasn't on here I would probably be doing chores so not necessarily encroaching on quality time with kids but definitely encroaching on household jobs.

and ewww.

MN has helped me to see different perspectives, and given me info on things I hadn;t really thought about. Its also helped me feel connected when I was new to the country, and helped me with support whern I had PND (=better parent)

but - yes, I sometimes spend too long on it, and ignore the kids a bit. A bit of ignoring is actually ok I think - they possibly have learned to play together and independently better than they might have if I were hands on all the time...but sometimes its too much ignoring and fobbing off on my part (= worse parent). usually the 'worse' time is for a week or so, and then I get unaddictaed again and all is well, so I;d say overall MN has been helpful.

have you all gone off to be better parents?

No. It has probably made me a less confident parent, I tend to avoid parenting topics if that can meake sense on a parenting website.

I do think thought that it may have helped me when dd was a newborn if I had known about it.,

I think it has made me a worse mum because I spend far too much time on here and use it as a crutch too much.

I think it has also contributed to making me less confident in real life.

crackernut, this does not sound good.
what on earth has happened to you on here to do that?

I suspect mumsnet has done the same to a lot of us. The ironic thing is that after tearing each other apart and damaging our confidence we are then quite good at picking helping each other out.

I think it has made me a better mum as i've had so much advice on how to deal with my challenging DS that I wouldn't have known otherwise, it has helped me with breastfeeding issues that meant I continued where i might have given up, it's helped me feel more confident in my parenting decisions, and with dealing with my depression such that it impacts less on my family life.

Unfortunately it hasn't made me a better housewife as the house is frequently neglected for MN and if I'm brutally honest, although I'm proud of my 21mo old DD's vocabulary, I'm not proud that one of the things she learnt to say first was "pooter away mummy"