Do you think mumsnet has made you a better parent?

[dragonbutter]

I've been pondering.
I get a lot of support from mumsnet although admit I don't ask a lot of parenting questions. I like the company really and there are people who really make me laugh. I prefer the really silly threads.

I feel supported by knowing there are lots of you out there in the same position, perhaps not all that comfortable in the role of mum. This was particularly useful while i was a SAHM.

But, I do tend to ignore the kids while i'm on here.

i love the whole mumocracy philosophy where we are all experts in our own field and wish i'd discovered long before i did as I would have loved to have asked all those first time mum questions.

I'm not even sure i can give advice to the new mums as I appear to have forgotten everything now, i presume a side effect of being sleep deprived back then.

I'm back at work now and get the social interactiong with adults that i need to be sane so maybe i'm just hanging around here now.

While i'm typing this the kids are whining and moaning at each other and looking for entertainment.

So is mumsnet making me a worse or better parent?

Probably, altho' MN undermines my confidence hugely.

yes.
cos im scared someone will witness my shiteness and report back

Oh no, it is nothing in particular that happened on here.

It is more that I rely to heavily on this site to be my social life and it has made it harder for me to and meet people in rl.

I hope it will make me a better Mum.

I think i've found the opposite crackernut.
I've found it a good thing socially. I've stopped bothering people for company who I know could give or take spending the afternoon with me.
so in a sense it reduces my stress about meeting more people in RL.

and if you don't want to talk to me, you don't have to. so i know where i stand.

Definitely yes! Particular as an inexperienced parent of an only child.

Had no experience of babies at all before dd so have benefited hugely from:

(a) practical advice such eg head lice (never previously encountered)

(b) parenting & philosophies eg book recommendations such as Alfie Kohn and How to Talk etc

(c) moral support eg don't worry, it's normal, my child does this too

Has stopped me being too pfb about things too!

I do spend far too much time on here though ...

MN has expanded (massively) my knowledge as a parent on a huge range of issues none of which I had previously considered before.

I also use it as a crutch for adult conversation during the day. (possibly to the detriment of RL, as I went out last week and came back depressed as I had "forgotten" how to make small talk!

I have noticed that I have been spending far toooooooo much time on here recently (partly pregnancy tiredness) and the dd's have equally had far tooo much cbeebies and we have both now cut back!

so yes and no

you haven't forgotten doris. you're like me, a master of chitchat.

no offence intended

toddler groups and the like are difficult places to be honest about your parenting. everyone is making out everything is fine when it can't possibly be that fine or you wouldn't be down the bleeding toddler group craving adult company and hoping the day will go by a bit quicker if you go.

I have never felt i needed MN for me the 'mum' but more for adult conversation and chat, light hearted humour and a bit of parenting thrown in.

I don't think its made me better or worse tbh.

i have spent far too much time on here in the past. much better now, but i will never get that time back. however, when i was on here too much i was in the depths of pnd and unable to cope with rl at all. mn has helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel.

its hard to say whether or not mn has made me a better parent, i have more conviction in my parenting style and mn has helped me focus on what we want for ds rather than just getting sucked into the swmnbn thing.

Ah you see db I'm one of the few that make everyone else feel superior I just admit my deficienies and generally laisez faire parenting style cue many faces of mums of pfb's (oh I remember the days....

Although the craving adult company is another thing altogether..... (wasn't a tddler group was a "ladies night" dul dull dull arghhhhhh (Dh was when I returned at 9pm!!!!)

exactly doris. i hated toddler groups. all i had in common with them was the fact that we lived it the same area and had our dc's at roughly the same time. at least with mn the friends ive made are regardless of location/age/parenting styles.

i suspected it would be.

i thought it would be just too depressing to be faced with reality of middle age. ladies night? shopping stalls?
i decided against it on mental health grounds.

lissielou, i think i have less of a conviction of my parenting style. being on mumsnet has taught me that you can't stick rigidly to one set of parenting ideals. shit happens and we have to deal with it in the best way for our circumstances at that time.
i'm winging it much more than ever.

But winging it is a style (definitely used to be more in vodue with my parents )

vogue

so what you're saying is that i'm an old fashioned lazy parent! ouch!

Not sure, but it has definately made me more paranoid.

I think it's been really good for understanding different approaches to situations. It's also been good for me personally to encounter lots of different people - I'm too caught up in my own little bubble.

I think MN has helped me in some very specific parenting ways but has knocked me a bit in the overall scheme of things.

Before MN I really thought that those friends of mine whose dcs didnt sleep through the night by school age and were still cosleeping and didnt say no to them etc just didnt know any better (mostly cos they were always asking how to get them to sleep/eat etc)I just didnt realise that they were doing it on purpose and now that I know the whole theory behind it I do worry that I have somehow not done the best for my dcs even though they seem absolutely fine and sleep etc and are generally well behaved.

Does that make sense? God am

Though equally I now know full well that all parenting follows cyclical fashions so that as long as you stick to the safety guidelines of the day you can do it how you want.

Definately made me a better Granny. I lurk a lot and read up on what not to do, how to be supportive, what is helpful. I have learnt such a lot about modern birth and parenting - all changed since I did it. I know what PFB and VBACS are! and have found out about mooncups (too late, too late). Shame the gransnet bit has not really taken off but I still recommend mumsnet to all my granny-to-be friends.

i think its terribly up its own arse and creates a sub culture which, if your not careful you could think the whole world actually does only buy organic/ethically farmed/dont smack/shout/ get drunk one a fortnight/never eats chicken buggets/fried food/ meal plans and bakes from scratch.

i think that's a myth though custardo.
my kids have had a happy today infact.
i think we like to tease about what constitutes the perfect parent/lifestyle but doubt very much many of us actually manage that or even aspire to it.
it's light hearted innit?

i thought everyone was joking?

happy meal i mean.