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Original poster

Am I stupid/thick?

28 replies

parker1313 · 11/03/2009 11:59

My ds had his bday party on monday and I forgot my camera so my sil took some and then passed them on to me on a memory stick.
I put them on my Facebook and named everyone on the pics.
Iv just had a call from dh saying that his bro and sil have asked me to remove the names of their kids.
He said it was a stupid thing to do and you just dont do something like that.
I am so embarrassed! I have removed all the names.
I just didnt think anything of it and now feel really silly and am now sitting here thinkin that Im not protecting my own children.
What do you all think?

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Seeline · 11/03/2009 12:02

I certainly would be very cross if someone put named pictures of my DCs on the web without my knowledge or permission. Places such as school, dance classes etc ask for written parental consent, and still guarantee that children won't be named. You can't be too careful.

Original poster

parker1313 · 11/03/2009 12:11

Omg I competely understand and thats why I feel stupid.
Why didnt I think?!

OP posts:

Lakota · 11/03/2009 12:20

Don't beat yourself up, apologise and move on. We've all done things like this without thinking, it could be worse.

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Gorionine · 11/03/2009 12:23

As Lakota!

I think the fact that you have not thought about not naming shows that you are a rather trusting person who has got more faith in human nature than most of us, not that you are stupid.

cutekids · 11/03/2009 12:26

no,i'm sure there's loads of us done this.i put some holiday snaps on FB last year and only thought last-minute about the naming thing...i did put their first names on though.(maybe i'm naive too?)

suMadre · 11/03/2009 12:26

I wouldnt stress if I was you just say sorry u didnt think...most parents I know wouldnt have a problem with that...its not as if you put pictures of them in the bath or something. DH bro and sister in law could have said it discreetly to you personally. Some people dont like putting their kids pics on fb at all so u have to be careful but Im sure your intention was fine and they should understand that. Everyone makes mistakes x

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 11/03/2009 12:27

Not so good if your FB profile is open to all, I reckon, but how do you have your Facebook privacy settings? I have mine so only friends can see my pics, if yours are the same (or even friends of friends) it shouldn't be an issue.
Anyway I personally would have no problem with my children being named in the local paper etc, so why not on someone's Facebook profile. But you should have checked first, as they obviously feel differently.
Still, don't beat yourself up over it.

Trikken · 11/03/2009 14:07

I think I would tag the children without thinking about the safety issue.It agree most parents would like to be asked but most would understand if it was accidental. My sister recently got upset as my dad added pics with her and I in our work uniforms, badges and all on show so made him remove them asap.

Original poster

parker1313 · 11/03/2009 19:18

My fb profile is only for my friends to see.Thank you I do feel much better now.I have apologised and she said its ok and not to worry.

OP posts:

SalBySea · 11/03/2009 19:29

personally, I never ever add close up pics of anyone's kids unless the parents' have chosen to put pics of the kids up on their own profile. Even then I set the album so its only visible to the relevant people (usually just the parents and me) - "friend's only" doesnt really cut it IMHO, you can choose WHICH friends and I do that when its a child oriented album.

Obvioulsy there are some exeptions, like there are kids in the background of my wedding pics who's parents dont have pics of their kids on the internet but they are very much incidental and the pics are not really focusing on the kids and I never tag em in those circumstances.

If I do ever tag a kid I use the parent's name and just do it so the parent gets notified of the pic.

I think its absolutely fair enough for a parent who chooses not to put pics of their children on the internet to request that others dont do so!

I was horrified when a friend put up her kid's nursery's sports day pics on an album with the name of the school visible in one of the pics, the "location" filled in AND the children's names tagged! If I was a parent at that nursery I would be DEMANDING that they be removed

MiamlaHasADaffodilBehindHerEar · 11/03/2009 19:30

can i ask why its not ok to put children's names on FB photos?

SalBySea · 11/03/2009 19:34

"can i ask why its not ok to put children's names on FB photos?"

well for a start, why put them on?

LittleMissBliss · 11/03/2009 19:35

I have my childs name on my facebook pictures can't see how this can harm him? Could someone explain?

LittleMissBliss · 11/03/2009 19:36

Because i tag my pictures.

LittleMissBliss · 11/03/2009 19:39

so what's the danger?

bohemianbint · 11/03/2009 19:42

Ooh, I've done this - but my FB is tightly restricted to friends only. I'll often tag the parent rather than the child IYSWIM just so it will flag up to them that I've put a pic of them/their child on. I've done this just as a way to share pics with people, I never really thought about it to be honest. Unless the child has a FB account the tag isn't "live" anyway is it?

SalBySea · 11/03/2009 19:46

little miss bliss - some people choose not to put their kids "out there" on the internet, others do. The ones who dont have the right to do so and also have the right to not have the choice taken away from them by other people!

I really dont see why you tag a child's name though! I dont see the point!

LittleMissBliss · 11/03/2009 19:54

I completely agree with you. Of course its up to the parent and if they aren't happy the name shouldn't be there.

But i really do want to know what the danger is? As i can't think of any.

SalBySea · 11/03/2009 20:00

Well in the case of the friend I mentioned, the nursery's name and location was on there with the names of all the kids.

My nan used to knit me and my cousins jumpers with our names on them until there was a big campaign about how its easier to abduct a kid if they can call it by name

the friend had tagged the kids names on them

Dont know about where you live but in my local paper if they have a group pic from a school they just call em "reception class at xy school" and call them "children from...."

CompareTheMeerkat · 11/03/2009 20:05

I do see that showing exactly where children are and giving full names would make it possible for someone to approach a child there and appear to know them.

However, I don't see how by tagging my children or other children with their first name, and not in a recognisable setting, how this is going to increase any danger to them. Mine are set to friends only which I realise is not the "safest" thing, but I still don't understand how someone who has no idea where the children are is going to do something with that information.

LittleMissBliss · 11/03/2009 20:06

Thankyou i hadn't thought of that, I can see the danger in that. But just naming a child with no nursery or school in involved. Say a ramdon person comes and says i have come to pick up child x their mum x an y sent me all found from face book.

But what if the child is only a baby/toddler what's the danger then, is there still dangers?

emsiewill · 11/03/2009 20:15

The danger is of course that one of those paedophiles that is hiding round every corner will be stalking Facebook looking for random kids, and, once they know the name of the random kids, will make it their life's work to seek them out to abduct them...

SalBySea · 11/03/2009 20:26

even if there is no actual danger, I think its fair enough if some parents just dont like the idea their kids pics and info being "out there" on the internet. I can see how it can make them uncomfortable.

I will put pics of my LO on facebook as my friends and family are spread all over the world and FB is great for people like me. But I am in control of my friend list and my settings etc so will feel comfortable - its yet to be seen how I'll feel about other people posting pics of my child on profiles that I have no control over!

I think that its fair to assume that parents who dont even put pics of themselves on the internet, and dont use social networking sites themselves, might well be unhappy if they hear that someone else has put their kids pics and names on one!

emsiewill · 11/03/2009 20:44

OK, so maybe I was a bit harsh.

I came across some photos that someone had posted of my mum on Facebook (she was Brown Owl) and as she's been dead for 10 years, it was a bit of a shock...and did feel a bit strange.

So I can see that people who deliberately avoid having their or their children's photos / details on the internet may not want other people taking that decision away from them.

I just get tired of all the "paedophiles round every corner" crap that some people subscribe to. (not necessarily on this thread)

SalBySea · 11/03/2009 21:00

also I think that people get a bit of shock when random aquaintances (who they are not fb friends with) come up to them and say "oh I saw the picks of your kid / party / wedding online, and the person doesnt even know who's profile they saw them on etc, it might feel like a bit of an invasion of privacy.

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