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Original poster

Has your mother/father told you that *you* are a good parent?

54 replies

MinnieMummy · 07/03/2009 14:35

It only occurred to me today when having a conversation with my grandmother where she told me that I am a lovely mother, the DCs are wonderful, well-looked after, etc. and I told her that it meant a lot to me for her to say that (which it does) that actually my mum has never said anything like that to me. Eldest child is 2.4.

This makes me feel a bit sad. I would say I have an ok-to-good relationship with my mum, not great, and she's not a very emotional touchy-feely sentimental person AT ALL, but... hmmm.

So does your mum say it to you??

btw I don't mean it in a boasting 'I am a fantastic mother' type of way, but sometimes it's nice to have a bit of validation that you are doing ok at this whole parenting lark, so I do appreciate my nan saying I'm not completely screwing them up. Yet.

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ScorpiowithabigS · 07/03/2009 14:36

Both my parents do, it means alot to me that they do.

Habbibu · 07/03/2009 14:39

Yes, mum does - says we're doing a great job. and she's a cracking mother herself!

FfreckleFface · 07/03/2009 15:23

My mum actually said this to me at Ff's birthday party a few weeks ago, and MIL agreed with her.

Ff was being passed from person to person and was giggling away to herself, and my mum said her good behaviour and general laid-back attitude was a testament to how secure she, which shows I am a good mother. I was touched and surprised, but didn't want to spoil it by saying that she has been chilled out since the second she popped out, so it could be nothing to do with me!

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CharCharGabor · 07/03/2009 15:30

My dad does quite a lot, my mother doesn't.

Original poster
MinnieMummy · 07/03/2009 16:20

Hey FF!

My faith in families/parents is now somewhat re-ignited, thank you. Think I was just feeling a bit sorry for myself...

OP posts:
TheThoughtPolice · 07/03/2009 16:24

No.

She is supportive and loving etc but has never explicitly commented on my paenting skills either positively or negatively

mrsgboring · 07/03/2009 16:25

No never, but a friend did once and I treasure that comment, I really do.

My parents just go constantly on about what a great job they did as parents. That's on the rare occasions that we see them; they are very distant parents to me now.

paolosgirl · 07/03/2009 16:25

Yes - mum has said that I'm a great mum, and that I'm far better than she ever was. I think SHE was/is a far better mother than I am, so we're agreeing to differ!

Lawks · 07/03/2009 16:36

OP - have you ever told your mum that she's a good mum?

Sunflower100 · 07/03/2009 16:39

Mum does. Mil would rather eat razors than say anything like that!!!!!

HaventSleptForAYear · 07/03/2009 16:49

My mum has said that we had handled the transition from DS1 to DS2 really well - ie better than she did (horrible sibling rivalry between me and my brother).

Apart from that, not really.

MIL recently said that her children were a lot calmer than ours...

LaMarquise · 07/03/2009 17:25

Yes both my parents do, and my MIL too
I really appreciate it

PinkTulips · 07/03/2009 17:26

MOL does, all the time. as does FOL and my dad.

mother would never in a million years tell me that

jellybeans · 07/03/2009 17:26

Yes my mum does alot.

brimfull · 07/03/2009 17:27

My parents tell me a lot that I am a great mum and dh is a great dad.My response is that I had good teachers.

Mercy · 07/03/2009 17:28

Same as thethoughtpolice.

Dh's parents often comment on what a great father dh is though [hollow laugh]

Original poster
MinnieMummy · 07/03/2009 17:31

Lawks - good point, no I have never said that (well, may have done when a child, but not that I remember). TBH it would seem a bit false... I don't think she's a bad mum by any means, but I find it hard to understand some of her choices - more so now I am a parent.
I think she knows that deep down and so it's just become a non-topic!

OP posts:
LaMarquise · 07/03/2009 17:32

Christ my parents were crap
My mother says she has learned a thing or two from me

Wallace · 07/03/2009 17:43

I think my mum has, but my dad, who isn't really prone to that sort of thing, said recently that he thinks I'm doing a good job

justaboutindisguise · 07/03/2009 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nighbynight · 07/03/2009 17:46

ha ha ha
pigs might fly.

Nighbynight · 07/03/2009 17:47

praising me is just not my mothers strong point.

bigTillyMint · 07/03/2009 17:51

Yes, she has once or twice.

I think she can see that family life is possible - not really something that she had, and I certainly didn't.

But she also comments negatively on DS's behaviour and does not hide her distaste to him as well as me if he is behaving badly (just fairly normal 6yo boy behaviour really }

NorbertDentressangle · 07/03/2009 18:02

No my Mum hasn't but then again she doesn't tend to comment on things I do/don't do. She tends to keep it to herself and always has done (apart from when I was a "testing" teen wink]).

MIL has commented on me being a good Mum and DP being a good Dad though

OracleInaCoracle · 07/03/2009 18:05

nope, mum has never praised our parenting at all. v quick to tell us we need a routine etc though.

mil on the other hand tells us we are good parents and she admires our child-led, laid back attitude. also remember a friend telling me that i was a fantastic mum. it really means a lot, especially with all our problems ttc and my mental health issues.

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