Has anybody not used the services of the Health Visitor?

[Yeni]

I'm staying in today waiting for the HV to come and do an 8 month check on DS. I received an appointment through the post a couple of months ago to go to their office and phoned up to cancel because we were away on holiday at the time. Last week I got another letter saying they were coming today to my house to do the check. I phoned up to ask if I could go to the office instead and was told they had to come here

I've now wasted half the day because I don't know when they are coming. I'm reluctant to put DS down for his nap because I'll probably have to wake him up again. I've had to arrange for somebody else to collect DD from nursery so that I can be in. I know they're busy and can't give even an approximate time but I do value my time when DD is at nursery and try to make the most of it.

I'm not knocking all HVs because I know there are some great ones but mine tbh are not that great. If I had any concerns about DS's development I would just take him to the GP.

I know I don't have to use the services of the HV so if I go ahead and have another child I'm seriously considering not bothering. What puts me off is the possiblility that it might set alarm bells ringing when I tell them I don't want a HV, and I'm trying to avoid hassle, not create more. Has anybody done this and what was the reaction?

DS2 hasn't seen HV since his 8 week check. get jabs done via specific appt with practice nurse

I love my HV, she has been a godsend with DS2.

I hated the one I had with DS1 and avoided her like the plague. She always seemed to be looking for fault, probably because I was a teenage mum - DS was too skinny, too pale, did his shoes fit properly???? etc etc, all manner of bizareness, so I didnt see her for about three years until she summoned me for his pre-school boosters.

We changed surgeries after that when she tried to make out I didnt have DS's Asthma under control.

hmmm my HV came over once when DD was about 10days old. She gave me my red book and some docs and told me to take her to the clinic twice a month until her 6 week check. It was in the middle of the snow etc, so I didnt go. Havent heard a peep from anyone since then and DD is now 7 weeks old.

I resented any interference with my family and made it quite clear from the start that I would not be having either of my children weighed monitored and subject to "big brother" surveillance. Had no problems with this and my wishes were respected. In my limited dealings with community midwives ( not the nice ones who actually delivered DS2 at home) and health visitors who tried to get a foot in my door they are the traffic wardens of the healthcare world.

mismelly, the 6-8 week baby check should be done by the GP, perhaps you need to make an appointment as not all surgeries automatically send one. Most people only get one HV visit now, unless there are problems. After that its up to you to phone your HV if needed or go to the clinic - not compulsory. There are so few HVs now they have to focus their efforts on child protection and families where there are known problems.

I always call them the baby police. Put up with one for DD1, more or less told the one I had for DD2 to sod off and threw her out of the house ( may possibly have been hormones but measuring DD2's head and telling me she could have water on the brain when the measurement was the same as dd1 at the same age was the final straw! subsequently had a very nice phone call from the GP who agreed that she was quite mad.

big gap and DD3, i have done the minimum in compliance and actually the current one seems quite normal, mind you i haven't asked for anything at all.

No doubt some of them are good, no doubt some of them provide lots of help and advice, no excuse for rudeness and not turning up...can't beleive they don't have a mobile to let people know roughly when they will be there. Its not like they are midwives!

I moved house my DD was 5 months, and i could have buried her under the patio! She is now 3 but no one has onced asked about her. I called up and tried to book a 2 year check but told they don't do that anymore.

Also DS had a bad stammer at 3 years old, so i called and asked to speak to HV for advice. He is 5 next month and i am still waiting for them to call back!

Some are great, but my current one is non existent.

I think the problem with HV's is, they are paid to dispense official avice, but they all have their own opinions - there was a huge problem in our area when HV's holding a "First time mum's club" type thing - six weekly sessions, advice and get together type thing - were telling mums to wean at 17 weeks.

My HV didn't come out to see us until DS was six weeks old (they are supposed to come out in first 2 weeks where we are) becuase she put my details in a tray before going on holiday and then forgot about me. She then spent ages talking to me about cot death and overheating - bearing in mind I lived in an attic flat and it was the middle of a heatwave - and I spent the rest of the day crying.

I am pregnant again, and won't bother next time.

Although, for what its worth, I was told HV do developmental checks in your home because your DC's are more likely to do the things they can do in their home environment, eg name things, bash bricks together, whatever..