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Original poster

Has anybody not used the services of the Health Visitor?

58 replies

Yeni · 24/02/2009 13:58

I'm staying in today waiting for the HV to come and do an 8 month check on DS. I received an appointment through the post a couple of months ago to go to their office and phoned up to cancel because we were away on holiday at the time. Last week I got another letter saying they were coming today to my house to do the check. I phoned up to ask if I could go to the office instead and was told they had to come here

I've now wasted half the day because I don't know when they are coming. I'm reluctant to put DS down for his nap because I'll probably have to wake him up again. I've had to arrange for somebody else to collect DD from nursery so that I can be in. I know they're busy and can't give even an approximate time but I do value my time when DD is at nursery and try to make the most of it.

I'm not knocking all HVs because I know there are some great ones but mine tbh are not that great. If I had any concerns about DS's development I would just take him to the GP.

I know I don't have to use the services of the HV so if I go ahead and have another child I'm seriously considering not bothering. What puts me off is the possiblility that it might set alarm bells ringing when I tell them I don't want a HV, and I'm trying to avoid hassle, not create more. Has anybody done this and what was the reaction?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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thefortbuilder · 24/02/2009 19:36

ds1 was 8wks early and we went to the clinic regularly for weigh ins - i got sick of being given misinformation - suggesting at 8 weeks i give him orange juice as he wasn't pooing, and also at 4 months i should be weaning...

with ds2 who was 6 weeks early we now live in a different area and our GP has huge paed background and experience. we saw HV for prem baby hearing check at 2 weeks, had him weighed once when HV told me i was looking a bit tired yes thank you dear i have 2 under 2

i did get a call when ds2 was 8 months to tell me i had to use the HV services - when i said my GP has great paed background she got very sniffy and said ""yes but we are specifically trained in 0-3yrs old" - nothing to do with child protection at all. i told her i'd call her if i ever needed them. haven't yet

asuwere · 24/02/2009 19:53

in answer to OP, I declined a 2yr check for DS1 then declined any visits after having DS3. HV was not happy and sent me 3 recorded delivery letters demanding that I put my refusal in writing (which I never did) Since I phoned her boss and mentioned that I was being hassled, I haven't heard anything else... When I took DS3 for his jabs, I did notice on his file it's highlighted "mother refuses HV input!"

So, you could get hassle but it's pretty easy to deal with... I would definately be telling her to leave well alone after keeping you in all day without a call! Shocking!

Also, you can get the bookstart freebies from the library so you won't miss out on anything

pagwatch · 24/02/2009 19:56

I had one meeting with HV at my home after DD was born - when she was about 6 weeks I guess. Never seen her since as I thanked her but declined any visits. DD had no development checksor anything else and actually didn't visist the DRs until she was taken ill at 18 months.
Amazingly she has reached 6 years old and is fine

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KristinaM · 24/02/2009 20:10

I've never had one visit at the house. ever

i only go to the clinic to see them for the innoculations. and also for the 8 month check, otherwise they hassle you.

ours are very pleasant women but i don't have any faith in their professional expertise and would always see a gp if worried about a child

the few times I've seen them they mostly talk drivel and i can't be bothered to argue with them. I smile politely and just get out of there asap

cmotdibbler · 24/02/2009 20:17

From birth to 15 months we saw the HV 5 times - she was actually quite nice. We then moved and saw the HV at the health centre when DS was 2 for a dev check and that was it. When I was there she swore that she had spoken to us - but we hadn't seen or spoken to her at all. TBH I was a bit suprised that I could move areas totally and no one rang or visited to make sure DS was still OK.

She was a bit of a numpty and we won't be going back

JollyPirate · 24/02/2009 20:18

They should always make an appointment and give a time. I never just give a day when I visit - always ring or write offering an appointment time. It's not compulsory to see a HV at all.
FWIW I saw mine twice and then she never came again - DS is 6 and fine.

KristinaM · 24/02/2009 20:22

I've never had one visit at the house. ever

i only go to the clinic to see them for the innoculations. and also for the 8 month check, otherwise they hassle you.

ours are very pleasant women but i don't have any faith in their professional expertise and would always see a gp if worried about a child

the few times I've seen them they mostly talk drivel and i can't be bothered to argue with them. I smile politely and just get out of there asap

KristinaM · 24/02/2009 20:23

ooops

BoffinMum · 24/02/2009 20:24

Saw one for DS2s two-year check.
She didn't have a clue. Rarely met one who knows anything of use whatsoever. Full of old wives' tales and seem to neglect the families that really need them.

Pinkglow · 24/02/2009 20:30

I had a home visit - twice she didnt turn up and then she turned up unannouced while I was still in PJs

She then gave me gems such as

'you will remember to take his coat off when you come back into your house wont you as its quite warm in here and you wouldnt want him to get overheated'

and

'you will be careful not to trip over the baby gym wont you as its in the middle of the room there'

When she left I noticed she had ticked the box in my red book that said 'discussed home safety'

I get him weighed every 7 weeks just so I know hes getting the right amount of food as hes a slow and often feeder sometimes its differcult to tell.

Tinkerisdead · 24/02/2009 22:11

I complained about my HV recently after all my missed appointments but im quite glad i did now, you guys are all saying they need to check for child protection etc. The first missed appointment i had, the HV turned up at my house looking like she was off to an xmas party, def not ready to be wee'd on by a baby!

DD was 13 days old in a ring sling as i opened door. she said that she had to see baby before it was 14 days old, i said she's 13 days. HV said well i have a really scratchy throat so is it okay if i dont come in but sign to say ive seen her before 14 days? i assumed she meant physically seen her!! now i know why things like baby p slip through the net if she just ticked a box and left.

Blu · 24/02/2009 22:20

DP took DS to be weighed at the clinic a few times, but I stopped after the first time. She arrived unnanounced at the house when DS was about a week old but I was in the middle of a family get-together, said I couldn't see her, and that was it.

Then DS 'failed' his 2 yr milestones assessment for language. He had been talking in complete sentences since he was 18m, and the HV asked him to name some objects. He kept totally shtumm for 'doll'.DP (who had taken him - I wouldn't have bothered) asked him why he didn't say 'doll', and he said 'because it had spooky eyes and was scaring me'.

If I had had worries and needed to see a HV it would have been a good resource to call on, but I didn't. I know some people have found their HV brilliant and a godsend.

DaisyMooSteiner · 25/02/2009 07:52

Glad I remembered right and it was you Pruners! I would have been pretty cross in your situation I think. I know there are child protection reasons, but just arriving unannounced is rude. She could have popped a note through/posted a letter asking you to call to make an appointment.

Original poster
Yeni · 25/02/2009 10:15

Got back from school run to answerphone message saying she's coming today. No time given.

OP posts:
Tummytuckrequired · 25/02/2009 10:22

I have to agree with everyone. I took my first DD religiously for a monthly check up with the HV until she was a year old. With my DS I last saw the health visitor when he was 12 weeks old - he is now 3. I have taken him to the GP for coughs/colds and innoculations but apart from that I have never heard from the HV again (for either of them). However to be honest I found HV to be a complete waste of time and would often knock my confidence. We would have to line up in a room with 20 other mums get the babies weighed (in the same room) be told off if the babies were too big or too small and shout at youfor not breast feeding! The fact that we were in such a public place would often discourage anyone from asking for help whether for yourself or your baby. Makes me think that they try and make it as difficult as possible so you don't go.

stripeysox · 25/02/2009 11:16

As a HV I'm amazed that people get home visits to do development checks, and even more that routine checks are still being done. There's a national shortage of HVs and we're supposed to be focussing on vulnerable families, the other stuff can be done by less qualified people. What a waste of resouces to to do home visits to families when there's no need. Please just say no. It won't be held against you, unless there's a Child Protection Plan in place, and you'll definitely know if your child has one of those. In our area most HV time is taken up with vulnerable families, checks aren't routine for everyone, apart from the new birth visit 2 weeks after the birth and this is in the process of being changed to just a phone call and visit from a community staff nurse or nursery nurse if needed. HVs haven't run baby weighing clinics for years, most clinics have been closed, the ones left are run by support workers or nursery nurses.

cutekids · 25/02/2009 11:20

well,i had 3 children one after the other (12 months between each of em) and,to be honest,if she hadn't been there,I might not be here now....I had post-natal depression both during my 2nd and 3rd pregnancy and after and she's the one who got me the help.I thank my lucky stars that she was there for me.

MrsMattie · 25/02/2009 11:24

With your 2nd and subsequent children they don't bother much, anyway. I have only been to the clinic once ( 6 wk check /1st set of immunisations), and will only be going back for the further immunisations and the 'milestone' developmental checks. I couldnt give a monkeys what they advise on feeding/sleeping etc, and if my child is ill or not thriving I will see my GP.

Fwiw, I am also thoroughly hacked off with my local HVs. I got a brief letter in the post a fortnight ago telling me that my DD has sickle cell trait and they would need to visit to explain the implications of this. I was worried sick about it. DH took the afternoon off work to be there for it. They didn't show up . Apparently they are sending me another appointment in the post (this was over a week ago) - haven't heard a scooby from them and they never answer the phone when i ring.

wastingmyeducation · 25/02/2009 11:26

No, we have HVs at baby clinic stripeysox. It's the nursery nurse who talks about weaning and long-sleeved vests as the answer to night wakings, but there's always a HV there.

It is shocking that we've got an inquiry into something like 7 child deaths in our town that should have been prevented last year and my HV came out to do DS 9 month check last week. Maybe because we've not been for a while.
Still, free toothpaste for the middle classes!

BlameItOnTheBogey · 25/02/2009 11:27

I've seen my HV exactly once. That was when she turned up unannounced 7 days after ds had been born, told me that I 'didn't look like the kind of person who would get PND' and cleared off. DS is 9 months old now and I had no idea there was such a thing as an 8 month check.

cory · 25/02/2009 11:37

We had a very good arrangement at our local clinic, where the HVs ran a mother and baby group. So you could get your baby weighed checked out if you wanted it but you could also get a cuppa and some social interchange. And they laid on nice things like baby massage.

stripeysox · 25/02/2009 12:18

wastingmy - some HVs just carry on doing what they've always done, or perhaps what they enjoy doing. They ignore guidelines and changes of policy and don't update themselves on anything. Those who work on their own and aren't part of a team can get away with it for years.
Vulnerable families tend not to be on the phone demanding home visits, its up to HVs to find acceptable ways of helping them and it can be difficult, much easier to fill the time up with visiting uncomplicated families. I've just heard about a HV who is still doing home visits to 4 year olds to do pre-school checks, The pre-school checks were officially stopped 10 years ago.

wastingmyeducation · 25/02/2009 12:52

It does seem to be a bit of a 'wind them up and watch them go' situation. It's a bit of a random job too. Not a midwife, not a social worker. Who are HV accountable to?

pagwatch · 25/02/2009 13:08

stripey - just to clarify my post about HV home visit...
the baby clinic/GP were contacting me to go in as they regarded me as a bit of a fruit loop as I was not visiting and DD was not having any of the routine vaccinations.
When I said I had no intention of attending she offered to visit and I agreed so that I could explain ( not that I had to of course) and prevent the clinic/surgery sending endless reminders etc.

So I don't think visits are routine - it was just the 'mountain' coming to me

It worked too - other than the big banner notice that flashes across the computer screen if I have to attend the Drs , they tend to leave me alone now they get what I am doing.

BoffinMum · 25/02/2009 14:53

I wish they were a bit more up to date about the pressures on working mums and so on as well - they seem to exist in a 1950s time warp.