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School-run Psychosis: ALWAYS LATE and it's driving me **mental** - please help!!

107 replies

FlossieT · 21/01/2009 10:05

Sorry about all the punctuation....

Why are we always, always, always 5 minutes (sometimes more) late for school?

I have tried:

  • putting clothes out, laying breakfast table and getting school bags ready the night before
  • insisting children are dressed before they come down for breakfast
  • HELPING the children get dressed before they come down for breakfast (as in, literally putting the shirts over their rotten little heads)
  • getting up earlier
  • starting to try to leave the house earlier

and NOTHING seems to work - invariably, I am a screaming banshee in the hallway and the boys are hopping around aimlessly, shoeless and vacant.

If you have solved this problem - or even found some clever tricks that make it less terrible - I would love it if you would share them as I am going out of my tiny mind trying to address this.

Yours just-about-clinging-to-sanity-by-the-tips-of-my-fingertips...

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xfabba · 21/01/2009 11:37

Again, OMG!!! I could never be in bed by 9pm!!! Boys go to bed at 7, am downstairs for 8, by time have eaten, laid out stuff for next day, tidies, checked emails etc it is 11pm at the earliest and that is on days when not running or going to gym!!! Am so envious.

xfabba · 21/01/2009 11:37

Am tempted by the breakfast in bed thing but fear it would be a slipperly slope - breakfast in the car is bad enough!

cory · 21/01/2009 11:38

ComeOVeneer on Wed 21-Jan-09 11:31:20
"I usually have time to hang a load of laundry, run washing machine, unload dishwasheretc. I really really can't understand why people are in a mad rush in the morning."

Do I take it that your children are not particularly bad tempered in the morning?

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NormaJeanBaker · 21/01/2009 11:39

Blimey - 9pm!! That is super early. We don't usually eat until 10pm. Bed much later.

ComeOVeneer · 21/01/2009 11:39

I have all the things ready for the next day and house straightened by the time the children go to bed at 7.30pm. Dinner for dh and I varies depending on his work, but everything is usually done and dusted by 9pm, then I can relax, read, soak in the bath, mn etc. I usually take the laptop to bed and watch tv/mn if dh is working late.

ComeOVeneer · 21/01/2009 11:40

None of us are morning people in this house, so yes the children generally are a bit grumpy, but they know I won't take any nonsense.

NormaJeanBaker · 21/01/2009 11:41

CoV how old are your children? That is seriously impressive.

Were you always an early to bed person or is this since children? We are trying to be earlier but DH and I both night owls by nature and habit.

FlossieT · 21/01/2009 11:43

Thanks to all the people who passed comment about natural levels of organisation. I am up early (usually an hour before the kids), and everything is put out the night before. I always used to be well on time for everything, and have no problem planning my own time, but the mornings are just a disaster....

Reading through the more helpful suggestions (thank you), I think I am pinpointing my personal problem to the leaving-the-house bit (now that I have accepted, grudgingly, that my 9YO has to be physically dressed by me in order to get him out of bed in a timely fashion), as all the other stuff tends to happen quite neatly: once they're dressed, there's no faffing over breakfast or teeth-brushing. It's the putting on shoes and coats, picking up school bags, and getting in the car (or onto bikes, depending on the day) that causes the problem.

On the days we walk to school (Tuesdays and some Thursdays) we are normally on time, or if not on time, then at least not late (in that magic five minutes between the bell ringing and the register starting) - mainly, I think, because if you are late when you're walking, you can always RUN to catch up the time (whereas the car journey is always going to take as long as it takes and there's very little one can do to influence it).

Now I just need to think of some way of getting them to understand that yes, we DO need to start leaving the house that early, however much they may think I am allowing a ridiculous amount of time. I had been thinking that the answer was to mount a highly visible clock somewhere (we have several, but I was thinking maybe they weren't "in-your-face" enough), but I'm actually beginning to wonder whether the answer is not to make reference to the time because they have got it into their heads that they need to start leaving later than in fact we do.

New idea: I'm going to try setting an alarm clock for 'leaving the house time', preferably one of those loud old-fashioned ones that sounds like a fire alarm. Will report back on how that goes.....

OP posts:
muppetgirl · 21/01/2009 11:43

ds 1 -4.9

His alarm goes off at 7 (r2-d2 he LOVES it!) and then he's allowed downstairs and gets his uniform from the living room, comes into our rom and we all dress/shower. Dh and ds sometimes have a race.

Downstairs for breakfast -all laid out. If ds takes too long to dress, he gets less time for breakfast.

7.30 I get up ds 2 -14 months he has a bottle and we leave at 7.45 (dh gone by then)

If ds messes about I have said that's fine and that I wil pack his uniform into a plastic bag and give it to his teacher and he will have to get dressed in his classroom. -he's never tried our whether I would (I would, I'm evil!)

I have ds 2 and dc 3 on the way so I run a tight ship ready in anticipation for the chaos about to come in a couple of years!

Watoose · 21/01/2009 11:43

I don't have a partner so 's easy!

Nothing much to organise...am very lucky really. I used to be hopeless - totally disorganised - not late for stuff, but the house was awful, a real tip.

I had to move away from my mother (lived far too close) in order to allow myself to get it tidied up. Before that I was so afraid I'd turn into her I couldn't do it iyswim.

I still get really ashamed if she sees the house looking tidy, like she might think she has 'won'.

It's a bit freaky.

senua · 21/01/2009 11:43

I'm with Astrophe and NJB. I hate being early - it's wasted time, I'm always thinking that I could "fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run".

ComeOVeneer · 21/01/2009 11:43

Children are 4 and 7. I'm not an early to bed person, I am in bed by 10ish but watch tv/mn/read until about midnight. I am def not a morning person but don't hit the snooze button as it is just delaying the enevitable, so I force myself up as soon as it goes of and jump straight into the shower, then you are quickly awake and ready to go.

cory · 21/01/2009 11:44

I take it our children are quite different, COV. A bit grumpy wouldn't have gone far to describe my early experience of the school run.

muppetgirl · 21/01/2009 11:45

oh and ds 1 gets his uniform out the night before just before bed.

I don't pay, give stickers or any rewards. It's expected behaviour and when I have 3 to get ready in the morning I can't bribe, cajole, reward them all so I'm not going to start.

chocolatedot · 21/01/2009 11:46

Mine are 9, 7 and 5 and I'm the same as COV, we are done and dusted by 8.30pm with all lunches/unforms etc for the next day sorted and the kitchen cleaned. We all eat together at 6.30pm which helps enormously. DH has to leave at 7am so we get up together at 6.15am.

ComeOVeneer · 21/01/2009 11:46

As I said before dd is very good in the morning, ds however isn't, without constant supervision he would be in pjs somewhere in the house by the time we need to leave. I just don't let it get to me and just get on with it, I find yelling etc is a waste of time and energy.

ComeOVeneer · 21/01/2009 11:48

I'm another one that does it all by myself as dh isn't home in time to help in the evening and in the morning is either already gone (if he actually vcame home at all), still asleep (if he got in really late) or rushing around trying to get himself ready - seeing as he is in his 30's I don't feel the need to ensure he is ready

NormaJeanBaker · 21/01/2009 11:49

OK. That sounds less scary!

Nice one senua - Mr Kipling makes exceedingly good quotes.

FlossieT · 21/01/2009 11:50

Wow. Am v jealous of all those who can get their kids settled that early. Mine are in bed at 7.30, 7.50 and 8.20 respectively IF I'm lucky, and then there's washing-up, laundry, clearing up, admin and getting everything ready for the next morning to be managed before bed. I'm astoundingly lucky if I can get into bed at 9.

Am seriously thinking that the answer is to do all the housework stuff in the early morning though, rather than at night when I'm knackered. But I find it a bit depressing to get up to mess.

OP posts:
cory · 21/01/2009 11:53

Ah, needing constant supervision doesn't sound very much to me, COV. That would describe ds now and I think he's a doddle. I was thinking more of full-blown hysteria.

FlossieT · 21/01/2009 11:53

I also 'do it all by myself'. We eat together, usually at 5.30, and I still find it hard to get them through the bath-and-bed routine any earlier. DH is normally supposed to be at work by 8 but usually isn't; he just looks after himself in the morning.

CoV, I'd love to be a fly on the wall and see how you manage it. I hate being late and find it deeply distressing.

OP posts:
Gorionine · 21/01/2009 11:54

Mine are not grumpy at all in the morning, just day dreamers!

They do go upstairs to wash their teeth as soon as they era asker to, but then... instead of turning right to the bathroom, they magically turn left into their bedroom and find something else to get busy with!

They are 9,7 4 and 2 and while I do things with /for the little ones I would like to think that one day, DD1 and DS2 would "sort themselves" a bit more!

ComeOVeneer · 21/01/2009 11:54

FLossie mine both go to bed at 7.30pm (dd although generally very smart hasn't cottoned on to the fact that she is 3 yrs older than her brother yet has the same bedtime) but are rarely asleep before 8.30, but they read. look at books, listen to their cds and know they aren't to get out of bed.

muppetgirl · 21/01/2009 11:54

I have just lowered ds's bedtime to 6pm as he's very tired at the mo and it's effecting his behaviour. He also doesn't watch telly anymore (since last week) and he has to earn programmes by his behaviour. I felt he was like a mini adult that I reasoned with him more than I should and have taken back the reigns a bit.

Gorionine · 21/01/2009 11:54

as soon as they are asked too, sorry!

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