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Parenting

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Original poster

Babies and small houses - they do mix don't they?

53 replies

WaitingforaSproglettoFall · 12/01/2009 08:49

Looking for some reassurance after talking to my mother (who I love dearly but can bit a bit overbearing once she gets an idea in her head).

DH and I are trying for baby no.1 and live in a small 2-bed house. Love the location/local facilities etc. so plan to extend in the future, but mum is adamant that we need to extend now or we won't fit in all the 'stuff' a baby come with.

I don't want to extend now, I don't know yet how long I want to take on maternity leave and don't want extra financial responsibility with a new baby.

But she has made me question how we'll fit everything in so I need reassurance that it is possible.

Did anyone else cope in a small house or did you all move to a 'family home' first?

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BonsoirAnna · 12/01/2009 08:51

Babies don't need a lot of "stuff". A Moses basket, a bouncy chair and a sling will do for the first six months (if you have a car the car seat can be kept in it at all times); after that a cot and a small folding buggy will be just fine.

mysterymoniker · 12/01/2009 08:51

ummm

I am still stuck in my small 2 bed house many many years later with 2 teenagers and a 9 year old - it's intimate!

HeadFairy · 12/01/2009 08:53

We've coped perfectly well in a small 2 bedroom flat. You don't needs tons of stuff, and to be honest being able to tell people we don't have much room has limited the amount of stuff we've been given. My sister is drowning in toys and we didn't want that to happen so we've had to reign in my grandmother's spending on toys/teddies/books a lot.

I have also found living in a small flat a really good incentive to get outside every day. DS is used to being piled in to his pushchair come rain or snow and pushed around the park.

Don't overburden yourself financially now, especially with the current climate. Be prudent and see how things go.

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littleboyblue · 12/01/2009 08:54

You will fit everything in, no problems at all! As long as you don't buy every single play mat/activity thingy on the market!
I got made redundant when I was preg with ds (my company paid for my flat so lost that too) me and dp ended up moving in wih a friend as needed somewhere quickly. Once ds was born, the 3 of us were living in 1 room with no problems.
We now live in a small 2 bed flat and baby 2 is due in 4 weeks, I'm not worried in the slightest where everything will go.......
You'll be fine in whatever situation you find yourself in when expecting a baby because you have to be. Lots of people manage with alot less than whatyou or I have
Good luck ttc

BlameItOnTheBogey · 12/01/2009 08:55

Babies are teeny and will take up as much space as you let them. We are in a small London flat with a 7 month old and it has never been an issue. We have to tidy up all the toys in the evening or the place is a disaster zone but it really is ok. I wouldn't take on major building work/financial commitment whilst pregnant - sounds like much more stress than living in a small space.

mrsmaidamess · 12/01/2009 08:56

I've heard of babies sleeping in pulled out drawers so I really wouldn't worry about it. We had a small 2 bed flat when we had our first baby, and it was lovely, I wouldn't have had it any other way..

Original poster

WaitingforaSproglettoFall · 12/01/2009 08:57

Thanks for the reassurance. I was worried I was being naive in thinking we could limited the stuff. I'm not a big shopping or into having the latest things all the time so happy to stick with the bare minimum

This will be the first grandchild (if I get there) on both sides so there will lots of shopping by grandparents/great aunts but they can just keep all the toys at their houses!

Another question, has anyone kept baby in their room passed 12 months? Thinking of a sidecar cot to start but there is an alcove at the end of the room which would fit a cotbed.

OP posts:

littleboyblue · 12/01/2009 09:00

Ds was in with us until he was 11 months due to the lack of another room. I'm sure lots of people do have dc's in the same room for alot longer than the recommended 6 months and if by the time you get to a year you want your privacy back (which I did) you can stand a partition or hang a nice curtain. As long as your happy, your baby will be

Stitchwort · 12/01/2009 09:01

We have coped perfectly in our little house, with our now 2 year old and 6 month baby. Our location in terms of facilities is so good I wouldn't want to move.

Babies (and their stuff) don't take up as much space as people think!

TheNinkynork · 12/01/2009 09:03

It's perfectly doable in terms of living space. DS is an awful sleeper so we tend to leave him in our room and decamp to DD's so as not to disburb him but with one DC it should be easy

FromGirders · 12/01/2009 09:20

We were in a very small 2-bed flat until ds was 4.5 and dd was 3. I also childminded for two of those years, so always had three under 4's in the house.
It was absolutely fine, we went out a lot, went to toddlers, playgroup, library groups, whatever was on, and also made good use of what space we had with ikea storage stuff (mainly for toys, actually). We had to be organised, and tidy up at the end of the day. Babies/children expand to fill the space available, I reckon.

hedgepig · 12/01/2009 09:22

I had a rule for grand parents about the size of toys, no bigger than a small 20cm square box it worked for most of the time. The main problem is me because I love buying new toys .
We have jut had ds2 and need to extend (my kitchen is a broom cupboard) I think it would have been easer to extend before children n just because we would have had more time and enery to do it.

bogie · 12/01/2009 09:27

We have a huge house me dp ds and dd, I would swap it today for a small 2 bed house with a garden! We have no outside space and ds loves to be outside when we go to my mil's he plays happily for hours just popping in for food and drinks, whereas inside he can't play on his own for 10 mins without getting bored.

theyoungvisiter · 12/01/2009 09:40

we live in a v small 2 bed flat with 2 children and no possibility of extending! In some ways it's easier - no need to bother about baby alarms (you can hear them from wherever you are), no problems about leaving the toddler alone with the newborn as they are always within sight/earshot.

Agree with other posters that babys don't need a lot of stuff, however they do accumulate so you need to be rigorous about weeding clothes and storing stuff they have outgrown - if you don't have an attic or storage area then it might be a good idea to sound out relatives to see if you can leave a box here or there.

But IMO the most compelling reason for extending sooner rather than later is that it's a complete nightmare doing DIY/building with a baby in the house - the noise messes with their naps, brick dust gets everywhere, it's much harder coping without heating/water when you have kids, etc etc. That would be my main reason for wanting to get the work done before the baby arrives - but if you have a place to go for a few weeks or plan a relatively self-contained extension then perhaps that's not such an issue.

hazeyjane · 12/01/2009 09:42

We lived in a mobile home until dd1 was 15 months and dd2 was 6 weeks old. It was a squeeze, but cosy!

Original poster

WaitingforaSproglettoFall · 12/01/2009 09:47

Some really fab ideas there.

We have a decent size garden (v.lucky ) which we're going to put a roomy shed in and have just had a loft ladder put so can use that for storage too.

There are quite a few baby/toddler groups, the council leisure centre with softplay and a few cafes within walking distance so escaping the house will be easy.

Like the idea of curtaining off the alcove at a later date - thankfully we've invested in a large sofa so if nooky ever comes back we can stick downstairs

Like the idea of limiting the size of toys, have already said I hate plastic toys to reduce those purchases. Best of all the local Ikea is only a few miles away so can invest in plenty of cheap storage for toys.

Feeling really positive, just have to wait for another type of positive - only just started trying and already impatient!

OP posts:

ninedragons · 12/01/2009 09:48

We have one DD (now 11 months) in a small two-bedroom flat.

I think it's actually easier. I can get dirty clothes into the laundry basket with a well aimed shot from the changing table and it's so much quicker to scoot round and do a quick tidy-up at the end of each day as DH puts DD to bed. It forces you to be efficient - we don't have space for the laundry to mount up and it's easy to chuck on a load every day if it's only ten steps to the laundry. I couldn't face the thought of running up and down stairs to tidy up a big house every night.

As others have said, you don't end up with a tsunami of toys and baby-related crap. We went into it knowing we would have to be fairly minimalist and it has worked beautifully. DD didn't get anything for Christmas and won't be getting anything for her birthday. She has a few good toys (blocks, a shape sorter, a little dump truck, a rocking horse) and other than that improvises with plastic jugs or whatever she finds around. Having a baby is like having a wedding - companies always try to convince you that you need so much more stuff than you actually do.

psychomum5 · 12/01/2009 09:48

we coped well enough in a two bed flat with our first two girls.........was when DD2 became a toddler that we needed the extra space, and moved to where we live now, 4 beds and huge lounge. Only thing is, new house meant a new baby (plus two more on top)!.

you will be fine, babies really do not neede that much, even tho all the catalogues and baby mags will try and convince you otherwise.

all you really need (and that is if you are not wanting to co-sleep), is a crib, chest of drawers that could double as a changing unit, and a pram/car seat combo.

anything else is useful, but not essential, and seeing as you already have two beds anyway, it will be easily fitted into the space you have.

unless of course you fall for twins/triplets

Original poster

WaitingforaSproglettoFall · 12/01/2009 09:50

I can see the logic of extending before baby in terms of mess, however the extension would be pretty self contained for the bulk of the work and we could de-camp to family for a few weeks.

OP posts:

theyoungvisiter · 12/01/2009 09:54

oo and in terms of limiting toys etc, we too asked grandparents to go for smaller toys, but we also made a decision to say "no batteries please" - this was because we knew we would always be within earshot of any toys and I couldn't bear to have a load of sirens and tunes going off in the living room all the time. Friends with bigger houses can shove all that type of stuff off into a playroom but I knew that the toys would end up in "my" space and I didn't want a constant din.

That's my personal idiosyncracy though - I can cope with visual clutter but not too much audio overload - it makes me go a little crazy. However you might want to consider what kind of toys you can live with in your space and plan accordingly!

Original poster

WaitingforaSproglettoFall · 12/01/2009 09:58

psychomum5 please don't scare me! A friend has twin boys (now toddlers) and I'm not sure I could cope, but I guess we always find a way.

Realistically how important is a changing unit (or chest of drawers). I was thinking I'd just have a mat and use the floor / bed etc.

OP posts:

theyoungvisiter · 12/01/2009 10:03

when they are newborn and you are changing them every 5 minutes it can help to have a high surface available as it kills your back after a while, but it doesn't have to be a purpose built changing unit.

I use the top of a chest of drawers when they are tiny (which is in our bedroom anyway, I didn't buy it for the purpose) and then we tend to just use the floor after the first few months.

greenhill · 12/01/2009 10:03

We had a very small house and moved when DD was 5mo to a 4 bedroom house with a bigger garden. While we appreciate the extra space, we do not use all the rooms and often dump things that ought to be thrown away in these bedrooms, rather than culling what we already have regularly.
I am no longer on a bus route either, so do not go into town as often as I used to, as I don't drive. By moving to a "better" area with bigger houses I have lost some facilities that I took for granted.
Our old neighbours coped with 3 teenage children in their "small" house, the people next door had 5 small children but generally 3 children was the norm. There aren't that many children in this new area!!! People are probably too busy paying off their big mortgages.
Do what suits you now, if you have the opportunity to extend later on and love the area, STAY IN YOUR NICE HOUSE.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 12/01/2009 10:07

We don't have a changing station and I have never seen the need for one. I have a changing mat which I put at the end of the bed and then I kneel down and change ds there. Job done.

ninedragons · 12/01/2009 10:11

It's nice to be able to change the baby without bending. As TYV says, you'll be doing it hundreds of times a day. You will need a small chest of drawers anyway for the clothes - you can just put the nappies and wipes in the top drawer and change the baby on top of it.

If you're in a small place, the more paraphernalia you can hide away, the less cluttered and chaotic your house will look. In that respect, a small chest to keep the baby stuff together and tidied away is a good investment.

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