Babies and small houses - they do mix don't they?

[WaitingforaSproglettoFall]

Looking for some reassurance after talking to my mother (who I love dearly but can bit a bit overbearing once she gets an idea in her head).

DH and I are trying for baby no.1 and live in a small 2-bed house. Love the location/local facilities etc. so plan to extend in the future, but mum is adamant that we need to extend now or we won't fit in all the 'stuff' a baby come with.

I don't want to extend now, I don't know yet how long I want to take on maternity leave and don't want extra financial responsibility with a new baby.

But she has made me question how we'll fit everything in so I need reassurance that it is possible.

Did anyone else cope in a small house or did you all move to a 'family home' first?

We have a 2 year old dd and another one on the way in a small 2 bed flat, and it's do-able so far, not sure how it'll be with the second.

As others have said, you have to clear out old clothes etc regularly.

However, I would say that a changing table, for me, was one of the most important purchases and the most useful pieces of equipment. I bought the cheap Sniglar one from Ikea for about £18, and I'm still using it to get her dressed on. Maybe that's just me, I hate bending down.

But it fits fine in her room with large cot bed and chest of drawers, and believe me, it's not a big room (about 3mx5m I think).

changing unit is not really essential, but is does save bending (your back), and kneeling (your knees).

mind you, you will need a cot too at some point, and you can get a changer that clips on top on the cot, so maybe that would help, or change baby on a mat on the bed....

we just had a chest of drawers tho for all the baby clothes, and so used that as a changing staion, with a shelf above for the nappies/wipes etc.

sorry for the twin scare tho (well, a small sorry)

We did 'baby' in a 1 bed flat - upgrading to two beds when Dc2 came along.

Less is more with baby stuff - it gets outgrown so quickly. It's easier to supervise them when the place is tiny! Not so good for having visitors esp in the evening. We went out lots in the day - every day a walk and an activity or shopping or library - so we didn't feel too claustrophobic.

We have 2 dc's in a 2 bed flat, albeit a rather large flat. But it is fine, as others have said. We do yet rather over run with toys, but that is our fault for not tidying and clearing them out regularly.

I like living here with all the local facilities, even though I would love a garden. We have a huge park here, so that is like our garden, and it gets us out of the flat. Otherwise, I think we would go stir crazy!

Keep the buying of baby stuff to a minimum and you will be fine.

just want to say we have a small 2 bed house and have twins and manage fine you just use the stuff you really need and that is not a bad thing as it stops you buying all the crap you dont really need you will be fine

We have a small 2 bed victorian cottage and a 1 year old daughter and a dog. I moved in when I was single and I'm amazed at how this house has suited our needs.

We are in the process of moving but that's more for financial reasons. Think laterally about the space you have.

I type this sitting in the LARGE cupboard under the stairs as the 2nd bedroom was our study. I like sitting here just off the kitchen.

This reply has jumped about a bit but personally I'd get stuff as you need it (including the extension) as you may not find you need it!

We have a small 2 bed flat with a 16 month old daughter. She still sleeps in our room in a cot by our bed and it works really well for us. She sleeps soundly and wakes up at about 8am - no better way to start your day than to have your dd smiling at you from her cot. I miss being able to read in bed at night but tis a small price to pay.

Agree with the others that it is do-able - and it's great not to have so much to clean. You can also borrow toys and books from the library and so not have to store them.

We are in a 2-up 2-down terrace with a 1 year old and it's fine. As others have said you just make the most of the space you've got and you always consider storage before you get anything. A tip for the second room is a large chest of drawers which you can use the top for a changing mat, then you can keep everything in there, the only other things you need in there is a chair and cot - we use the rest of the room as an office as DS doesn't use it to play in yet. I would definitely say it is much less stressful than buying a house in this "current financial climate" and moving when pregnant - I honestly believe if you have stress in your pregnancy it affects the temperament of your child!

You can get cot-top changing tables! We had one ... you just put it on top of the cot, make sure your nappies/wipes etc are somewhere nearby, then take it off when you want to put them to bed. Bit of a palaver but doing it on the floor really hurt my back.

We live in a small victorian cottage with 2.5 bedrooms. (DD2 is in the 0.5 of a bedroom but it is fine for her right now, and maybe they'll share the bigger room when she's a bit older). We have now built an extension at the back but only single story as no other options. This has made a huge difference and we now have lovely open plan living, but before then we were fine with 2 DDs in our 10ft square sitting room.

My tips are:

• shunt as much stuff outside as possible. So prams, scooters etc all go outside. We have a wooden play house and in there lives the toy kitchen, doll's bed, highchair etc.
• storage, storage, storage. Really really think about it. There are lots of good products around. For example you'll find you build up a big collection of children's books. There are great bookshelves for picture books that go on the wall from Great Little Trading Company, which keeps the floor free. We got some great plastic storage containers from Ikea that are supposed to be for storing your recycling, but they are perfect for lego, train set, etc. Plus they stack on top of each other but thanks to the little lift up lid at the front, you can still get access to them.
• lots of beds have storage built in (obviously when your DC is older). Or you could get (which I wish we had done) a single bed that has another pull out bed that lifts up to make it into a double so you still have a guest bed, and DC can camp in your room when you have people staying over.
• get the loft boarded out (if it isn't already) so you can store LOADS of things up there. This is on our list of jobs for the year.
• be ruthless about the stuff and have regular sort outs (if they are anything like my hoarders, you'll need to do this they're out). In my experience, the soft toys are the worst, far worse than plastic, and you won't buy any of them. Again you can get a hanging storage thing from Ikea for them. Or you can put them in the box marked "Gift Recycling" in your loft and save them to inflict on some other family.

I have a friend with 2 daughters who live in a really tiny 2 bed flat ... no room even for a dining table, they have one that folds away to virtually nothing ... but they have a lot of outdoor space and that makes up for it. The girls are just outside the whole time and there's nothing wrong with that!

Ooh yes - a table (with drawers) you can fold away is really useful. We gotthis from Ikea.

As other posters have said, its perfectly doable but you need to restrict amount of stuff you buy/get bought for baby (in particular, try not to go for huge travel system that takes up half the storage space), invest in clever storage and be ruthless when something gets past its useful date (NCT nearly new sales good for getting rid of good quality used baby stuff) - I'm a hoarder so found that last bit quite difficult when in our 2 bed flat with our DS, but even we coped. Outings every day is key to maintaining your sanity (especially if your little one is quite vocal at times). We've now moved to a 3 bed house and have no 2 on the way (is a pretty small house so am having to employ my 2 bed flat survival techniques again) - and have plans eventually to extend the house to a 4 bed house, but figure there is no real urgency at present.

I live in a small 2 bed terrace and its fine. Of course a bigger house would be lovely, but that's not going to happen for some time! Babies do seem to have lots of stuff, but plenty of things come in compact or foldable form.

Thanks for all the responses. Lots of ideas to put into practise and plenty of material to dissuade [sp?] my mother when she nexts starts talking about it

Just to say we have 4DCs in a two bed house and only now are we thinking of extending...the space factor didn't bother us until now, eldest is 8 and youngest is 15 moths.

15 months....even

We have been in a static caravan since dd was born with no problem
If you think a baby will take up lots of space wait until they reach 8 - her stuff is everywhere

We were living in a terrible caravan/shed arrangement till DD1 was 16 months old whilst turning a derelict mill into a home. We did most of the work ourselves whilst DD napped in caravan or pram in garden.
I had a home birth and used washable nappies that's how amazing those birthing hormones can be so you and your little one will be fine.

Lots of excellent tips above, my essentials were in the early days: moses basket on a picnic basket(instead of a stand) which later doubled as a padded seating area/toy storage when they start to sit up
a sling - so no expensive, badly designed (they are sooo heavy) travel system
changing mat for bed/sofa/floor whatever is most comfortable &safe at that moment in time.

And remember that the shops will still be open post birth so for exaample if you plan to breast feed but are not sure just buy one bottle and a carton of milk(just in case), research which steriliser/breastpump/gadgets the catalogues show you like the look of but not sure if you need DON'T buy. After baby is born your partner/friend can pop out get more chocolate/nappies/inflatable cushion and take your list for the stuff that will make life easier. We live a few miles from very small town and 50 miles from nearest big city the internet and phone ordering helped a lot.
Be totaly up front with the truth to kind relatives "our small baby in our small house does n't need much stuff so save the drum kit, monster teddy and ball crawl till we move into our mansion till then books and cot bedding would be great!"

ignore the negatives, repeat the positives and remember nothing worth having is ever easy but little ones really are wonderful and the one thing you really don't need if you can avoid it is money troubles!

Our first was born in a tiny flat with one bedroom. We are now in a two bed flat with three children - DD1 and DS share and DD2 (10 months) in with us. When she gets more consistently settled at night they will all share. We are a very happy and jolly household. A friend single mum had her first with nothing - her baby slept in a drawer. Not recommended I guess but he's a very cool 17 year old now. You'd be fine.

Don't expand now, tell your mother to mind her own business! We're expecting out third child, and we're in a 3 bed flat!!

Message withdrawn

I reckon - no matter how big your house is now, it's going to look smaller once you've got the baby stuff in it!

Once your child is about 18 months, the need for space isn't so essential, so I'd bear with it if I were you.

My close friend lives in a very small 2 bed house she has 2 boys in bunkbeds in one room and she is pregnant again. They are very efficient with storage. They have a slightly larger than normal shed where they keep toys that are not being played with and she rotates toys in the house. They store things like the buggy in the garage.

It will be as manic as you make it.. it will be easy to prove your Mum wrong..

You really don't need loads of stuff, esp in the first year. Imo you can get away with pretty much as much or as little as you want. We managed fine with DS in a two bed flat and have only just moved now that he is nearly two and DC2 is on the way.

Our first was born when we were in a 1-bed council flat. 2nd floor, no outdoor space.

We had two children in a 2bed flat, again, 2nd floor, no outdoor space.

You don't need a 'family home'. That's how so many people over-extended themselves and are now unable to pay their mortgages.

Wow. Thanks for all the great responses, I think this thread has managed to blow away 95% of my concerns all in one go.

Mumsnet really is a fab place for information and support

Now I just need to resolve the remaining 5% (i.e. DH's vast quantity of stuff!)